Applying for K1 - Will I need parental consent to bring my 4 year old

[NikLR 13,227]

I let my 9 year old decide who she wanted to live with. Why? Because when I was 7 I was forced to go live with another parent and didn't want to. Granted the way it was done was probably more traumatizing than anything else but still, being forced to live with one parent or another is hard. She can always come live with me if she wants to. I prefer the Canadian schools and healthcare however.

[Pitaya 2,577]

Btw you don't need to wait till the last minute to get him to do a letter. I had mine 10 months before I moved. So get it done as soon as he is willing.

Agree! When we were doing the K1 visa ritual, we didn't know the rules/requirements of the PRC or the state of Washington. We were having too much "fun" dealing with the vagaries of the K1 Visa process. Yes, my stepson was 19 yo at the time and likely could have made his own decision. However, we opted to "gild the lily", my wife obtained a notarized/certified (Chinese-style Notarial Certificate [White Book]) letter from the ex-husband (biological father) allowing his son to immigrate to the US. We presented that along with the myriad of other documents at the consulate visa interview.

Get the notarized letter ASAP.

Good luck on your immigration journey.

[ShaunaH 0]

How did I miss all of these replies?! Thank you so much for your input, guys.

Okay.. to reply

Rob and Monika: My ex isn't afraid of me.. honestly, he's just very selfish and would rather not spend time with his kids if he could be doing something more exciting (he has 3 children total --I am also very close with his ex.. the mother of his other 2). He isn't a bad guy.. he just lacks in maturity and is very self involved. On a side note I don't think it's EVER an excuse for a father not to see his children just because the mother might make it uncomfortable when they pick the child up. I would walk through fire to see my son. No excuse there. Taking his mother out won't do me any good, unfortunately. In 2 years his mother has asked to see my son twice. TWICE. The kids aren't a priority to this family in any way. It's horribly sad when I contrast that with my own mom and dad and even my fiancee's mom and dad that skype with my son regularly. I just feel they are missing out on so much. I have reached out to my ex's entire family on numerous occasions, asking them to sit down with me and discuss everything (even beyond this move)--in my son's best interest. I have never withheld access and have never said a negative word about them or his father to my son. So, thankfully he's blissfully ignorant of all of this. He definitely has some major insecurity issues relating to not understanding why his father won't spend time with him... but he doesn't think ill of his father or his family. I will always do my best to facilitate my son's relationship with his father regardless of where we live.

Texas22:

Oh wow.. that really helped to hear your story. At the moment we don't even have a custody agreement. I have a lawyer trying to hash that out.. it's been a year already and we still haven't settled. The last agreement that we sent back only had one change to it, so we were REALLY hoping they were going to sign this time. I also wouldn't budge on sole custody (he signed an agreement 2 months ago with his ex handing over sole custody of her two children.. but for me he's holding back thinking it means I can move with our son). My lawyer and I really thought he would sign this one, as he knows that if he doesn't we're going to court and I will fight to the bitter end.. he's in no shape financially to hire a lawyer to fight me. I sent an email to my lawyer earlier this week asking for an update.. still nothing.. I'm on pins and needles about this. It states in this agreement also that when the time comes for me to move, that I present my plan to him and his lawyer at which point if we can't come to an agreement together, we could take it to the courts. They agreed on this point which my lawyer assured me is fantastic as at least then the INTENTION of moving is in the actual agreement itself. As to child support, yes he does pay. It's often late and for 6 months he decided to cut it in half, but he still pays most of the time. As it stands now he sees my son twice a month at the very most.

Right now we're thinking that CR1 route is the only option as I have a business that I run here in the spring/summer/fall months so I couldn't be locked down in the US for any more than a month at a time (I'm a wedding photographer). So, plan is to get married within the next few months.. just so stressful to do all this without every knowing if we can actually be together as a family.

I just might take you up on your offer, Texas22 and inbox you later tonight! This is such an excruciating process!

Thanks for all of your input, gang!!

Edited December 11, 2014 by ShaunaH