i want to understand my husband

[seannah 6]

Hello everybody! my husband and i is having a hard time filling for affidavit of support, he has 27,000 for 2011, 10,000 for 2012 and 14,000 for 2013, We have the household of 3, so if i am not mistaken household for 3 should be 24, 731 USD this means we need to have a co sponsor i.am telling him to try to ask help from his relatives but he don't want to do it he is going to send the affidavit package to NVC with just 14,000 for 2013, he is saying that it is so hard and uncomfortable to anyone to just send out copies of SSN and W-2's, My question is, it really risky for an american to send copies of their SSN and W-2s? I am a little disappointed with my husband about this because i know papers will going back to us asking for a co sponsor and it will going to cause delays again. Please can somebody enlighten me and make me understand why my husband is saying that its not easy to ask anybody to send out copies of their SSN and W-2's,

[inlovebutlonely 6]

http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-864p.pdf

your husband should not waste his time sending the paper work if he is currently not making the 24,737 he needs to make to support all 3 of you. He WILL need a cosponsor, and yes it is true here ppl are very cautious with their ss #'s and their tax paperwork but if he has family i dont understand why they wouldn't help. I needed a cosponsor for my husband and my family helped me. You should ask him the real reason why he doesnt want to ask for help.

[christeen 966]

The SSN is a number that is protected because if someone where to get it along with all the vital personal information, someone "could" easily have their identity stolen and their credit ruined (takes up to years to straighten out). However, he will need to find someone willing to fill out the paperwork if you want to get the visa. You will probably be denied with a piece of paper stating that you have to provide that information by a specific date or be denied. He is going to have to find someone... No money, no honey...

[Darnell 8,479]

does he have assets that qualify on the assets section of the I-864?

[seannah 6]

He has but i don't think it will cover up the lucking amount,

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hello everybody! my husband and i is having a hard time filling for affidavit of support, he has 27,000 for 2011, 10,000 for 2012 and 14,000 for 2013, We have the household of 3, so if i am not mistaken household for 3 should be 24, 731 USD this means we need to have a co sponsor i.am telling him to try to ask help from his relatives but he don't want to do it he is going to send the affidavit package to NVC with just 14,000 for 2013, he is saying that it is so hard and uncomfortable to anyone to just send out copies of SSN and W-2's, My question is, it really risky for an american to send copies of their SSN and W-2s? I am a little disappointed with my husband about this because i know papers will going back to us asking for a co sponsor and it will going to cause delays again. Please can somebody enlighten me and make me understand why my husband is saying that its not easy to ask anybody to send out copies of their SSN and W-2's,

I would be very hesitant to give my SSN and W-2s to some of my relatives. Just can't trust them to be responsible with them because they are not careful people.

Someone having my SSN and W-2s can destroy my life.

Personally, I would never sign the I-864 for anyone who was not a relative. I would not sign it for my brother's wife. The reason is that even if they get divorced, I am liable to repay any means tested support that she may receive. I don't know her. I never met her, so how can I trust that she will not take means tested benefits if they break up?

Sorry, but your husband is wrong. He will get an RFE asking for a Joint Sponsor. You will not get a visa without a Joint Sponsor.

Best of luck to you. Hopefully you will find a Joint Sponsor.

[seannah 6]

That is what he is telling me, that is why he don't want t ask anyone, but i'm hoping at least try thanks for all the responses

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Some people have a hard time asking for help. I happen to be one of them. However, we needed a co-sponsor as we were doing DCF from the UK and we didn't have any assets to use. My father and mother jumped at the chance to help once I finally got the courage to ask for it. We were all a bit anxious about social security numbers and personal information being stolen, but...we were fine.

Hubby needs to ask for help...no matter how hard it may be for him to do so. You will be denied otherwise.

[seannah 6]

Thanks for sharing Glyn and Katty

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

I don't believe it's the fear of identity theft as much as it's people not wanting others to know how much (or how little) they make. In America, we are very materialistic. A big w-2 equals status. Sometimes people try to make themselves out to be better off than they really are. I would think that some people would not want to show their w-2 to anybody out of embarrassment, especially if they pretended to be something they're not. Your income is a secretive thing. It's kind of rude to ask somebody what they make. Maybe that has something to do with it.

I think most people would overlook all that to help a family member. The fact that he's afraid to ask for help could be telling. Is he afraid that they won't help? If so, that would tell me something about him and how his family views him.

[seannah 6]

Hi eric, him and his family is doing fine, it's just my husband that dont want to try to ask for any help because he believes that no body will going to send copies of their w-2's. i don't know what to do to convince him to ask help,

[QueenComley 295]

It could be male pride. He may feel too embarrassed to ask for help. We have struggled a lot financially at the very beginning of our relationship and visa process, and my husband would refuse help from anyone and everyone. Even his parents and siblings. He is the most stubborn person I know. I used to say to him " your cutting off your nose to spite your face" but he never listened. Its very much a male thing.

In the end he realized that by refusing the help offered to him, he was refusing help for the both of us. It wasn't about his pride anymore. There was another person in his life to consider...... me. He did humbly take help when it was offered(occasionally anyway ). Now we are financially sound, we always remember the people that helped us at the beginning and we now help them in return.

Edited April 30, 2014 by QueenComley

[seannah 6]

yes you right on that, am happy to hear your story quenn.......if thats the case i hope my husband lower his pride

[QueenComley 295]

Your husband will come to realize he has no choice but to lower his pride. If you guys need a co-sponsor, then you need a co-sponsor, end of story. Your husband will eventually see the light I promise you.

My husband is renowned for his nightmare stubbornness, his ego and his pride. He has enough testosterone to dish out to another 100 men and it can be a nightmare, but there had to come a point in time that he needed to realize that accepting $60 from his sister to see us through for gas and a few essentials is not a major thing.

Last week his sister called me to say that her and her husband were struggling and had no money until pay day. Because my husband grudgingly accepted my sister-in-laws help in the past I was able to wire $200 to her and her family to see them through to the end of the month. It was a real wake up call to my husband that if people are in a position to help you, then accept it gracefully. Because he overcome his stubbornness and pride in the past and accepted help from his sister, it meant we were able to help her 2 years later when she faced the same problems.

Keep communicating with your husband and explain the importance of finding a co-sponsor. Male pride is a hard thing to overcome, but it is possible

[apple21 953]

There's no harm in asking, tell him that. If he really wants you in America, he should try all means.