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AKukreti

Fiance's new friend

By AKukreti in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

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Harpa Timsah
Harpa Timsah

He sounds like a manipulative a$$hole.

AKukreti
AKukreti

I ended it. I hope I can stay strong. Deleted the apps on my phone er use to message with. Deleted skype from my phone. No longer going on skype on my computer. All his emails go to my trash. And blo

Boiler
Boiler

Is Dunkin Donuts a code word I am unfamiliar with?

SusieQQQ Grand Master

SusieQQQ   11,586

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Timeline
Posted

After talking to everyone on VJ, multiple friends and family I myself decided not to make a quick decision. I still have time to figure things out. I know he isn't scamming me. I know he loves me. And he has agreed not to see her. So lets see what happens. I will keep you all posted. This is honestly the first time this has ever been a problem.

You know you are making a big mistake here...

Tell you what if you are so sure he isn't scamming you, and that everything else is legit, do this: tell him that with everything that has gone on, you want to continue BUT you are withdrawing the K1 application and that you want to rather come live with him in India for a year to decide, to see if you really can live with him. You don't have to do any of this of course - but tell him you are... And see how he reacts to that.

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AKukreti Contributor

AKukreti   24

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: India
 Timeline
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You know you are making a big mistake here...

Tell you what if you are so sure he isn't scamming you, and that everything else is legit, do this: tell him that with everything that has gone on, you want to continue BUT you are withdrawing the K1 application and that you want to rather come live with him in India for a year to decide, to see if you really can live with him. You don't have to do any of this of course - but tell him you are... And see how he reacts to that.

See that is how I know he isn't with me for the GC. Cause before I filed for the K1 he was trying to convince me to move to India with my son to settle down. That it would be easier and faster with immigration for me to go there. But of course Im not interested. And he is constantly asking me again and again cause he just wants to be with me. He doesn't care where we are. That I have no doubt about. But thanks for the idea and concern.

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SusieQQQ Grand Master

SusieQQQ   11,586

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Timeline
Posted (edited)

See that is how I know he isn't with me for the GC. Cause before I filed for the K1 he was trying to convince me to move to India with my son to settle down. That it would be easier and faster with immigration for me to go there. But of course Im not interested. And he is constantly asking me again and again cause he just wants to be with me. He doesn't care where we are. That I have no doubt about. But thanks for the idea and concern.

Can I ask you something? If you were a stranger and read your previous posts....what do you think you would be suggesting? That the person being subjected to so much unhappiness and uncertainty should stay with that person?

Also I don't understand from what you posted above. If he just wants to be with you.... Why isn't he already with you? I thought a previous post had implied that his visa was ready?

Edited by SusieQQQ
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AKukreti Contributor

AKukreti   24

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: India
 Timeline
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Can I ask you something? If you were a stranger and read your previous posts....what do you think you would be suggesting? That the person being subjected to so much unhappiness and uncertainty should stay with that person?

Also I don't understand from what you posted above. If he just wants to be with you.... Why isn't he already with you? I thought a previous post had implied that his visa was ready?

No his K1 visa isn't ready. We applied for a tourist visa for him too but he wasn't given one.

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christeen Experienced

christeen   966

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Italy
 Timeline
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I have to say... That perhaps HE is not personally scamming but is instead a young and some what naive man and perhaps IS in truly in love with you at this moment....

The problem is that there are cultural and family pressures that he will not be strong enough to resist down the road. Culturally, the parents have a LOT of control over what the children do. He will be pressured by his parents (through guilt, cultural obligations and traditions) to eventually, after getti g GC or citizenship to divorce you somhe can bring an "approved" woman (one whom can do things for the family and is culturally or fnancially matched) over... This is how it is... And even if he loves you, it is near to impossible for a grown man (let alone a young, not educated, not traveled immature boy) to turn his back in this pressure and these deep rooted social norms... He will eventually be forced to choose between you, and his entire family (parents, extended family and culture) and I can tell you, most will choose their family... He already is controlled by his parents, wait till they ask him to choose between "you" and "them" ... If you think "love always wins" then you are being as naive as him... And remember, you have a child to,think about, and is it fair to selfishly bring over someone that might not stick around and your son/daughter might get attached to (see abandonment issues later in life) because of your loneliness? It is more than just about you... There are MANY sides you need to look at and frankly, none of them end up benefitting your child (or frankly you other than the short term having him get here) in the end... But we all make decisions... Remember, lessons cost.... Good lessons... Cost a LOT!

10/14/2000 - Met Aboard a Cruise ship

06/14/2003 - Married Savona Italy

I-130

03/21/2009 - I-130 Mailed to Chicago lockbox

11-30-09: GOT GREEN CARD in mail!!!!!!

Citizenship Process;

1/11/2013: Mailed N400 to Dallas Texas

3/11/2013: interview.. Approved

4/4/2013. : Oath! Now a U.S. citizen!

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amuna0526 Enthusiast

amuna0526   11

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Jordan
 Timeline
Posted

In the end it's your decision, no one can decide for you. You came on VJ for advice about your situation. For you to ask for advice means you are not sure about this whole relationship thing. You're having doubts. You're questioning. You need to really think long and hard about all this, how it will affect you as well as your child. Like I posted before, you don't need the drama.

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PallasAthena Enthusiast

PallasAthena   101

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
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Posted

It sounds like you made up your mind, anyway, and that you're trying to convince us. You don't need to do that. Just do what makes you happy (even if it causes heartbreak in the long run because I know you won't listen to our advice since it seems that you made up your mind about what to do!)

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Virtuous45 Enthusiast

Virtuous45   31

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Jamaica
 Timeline
Posted

At the time of writing this, this topic has filled up eight long pages. I think everyone who has so graciously contributed helpful suggestions to the OP should stop and move on to helping someone else who needs the valuable help you all give. In my opinion, clearly the OP doesn't want to shake this guy (for whatever reason I don't know). From just reading the things she has said that he has said/done in the relationship, its clear that he is immature (as another Indian OP said of the men in India) and is not sure what he wants to do with his life. The Op owes it to her child to live a emotionally healthy life for both of their sakes.

Let her be to make up her mind what she wants to do. I'm done with this thread. kmt


event.png


April 2, 2014: I-130 Filed with Chicago Lockbox

April 7, 2014: Packaged received by USCIS

April 8, 2014: Received NOA 1

Sept. 17, 2014: Received NOA 2. Case APPROVED with no RFEs

Oct. 17, 2014: Case # Assigned by NVC (Same day case was received, according to Julian # calculation)

Oct. 21, 2014: Received letter from NVC

Oct. 22, 2014: DS-261 completed and submitted to NVC

Oct. 31, 2014: Paid AOS invoice


Dec 08, 2014: Sent in IV & AoS packages

Dec 11, 2014: Package received by NVC

Dec 12, 2014: Received email from NVC acknowledging receipt. I assume this is our scan date

Dec 25, 2014: Paid IV bill

Dec 29, 2014: Funds deducted from bank account. DS-260 became available, and was completed

Dec 30, 2014: Submitted DS-260

Feb. 12, 2015: Case Complete with NO checklist! whoot, whoot!

Mar. 25, 2015: Received P4. Interview

April 29,2015: Completed medical examination

May 13, 2015: Interview Date APPROVED :dancing:

May 19, 2015: Received Package

Oct. 22, 2015: Travelled to my new home :) (In order to get IR-1 Green Card) Expiration date on IR-1/CR-1 Visa - Oct. 29, 2015

Nov 10, 2015: Received Social Security Card

Jan 4, 2016: LPR Green Card arrived.

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AKukreti Contributor

AKukreti   24

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: India
 Timeline
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Posted

Always admit when Im wrong. And I was wrong but at least I got the real slap in my face now, instead when he was here. I thank god for that. Took him back, he had nothing to do with her. Monday they bumped into each other and she like him. So he ended it with me to be with her. Wait...It gets better...lol I know what he wants, and Im so pissed. He wants to be with her til he can be here with me. BS!!! Im so mad. How do I withdraw the petition?

Thanks everyone

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milimelo Veteran

milimelo   4,477

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Bosnia-Herzegovina
 Timeline
Posted

Always admit when Im wrong. And I was wrong but at least I got the real slap in my face now, instead when he was here. I thank god for that. Took him back, he had nothing to do with her. Monday they bumped into each other and she like him. So he ended it with me to be with her. Wait...It gets better...lol I know what he wants, and Im so pissed. He wants to be with her til he can be here with me. BS!!! Im so mad. How do I withdraw the petition?

Thanks everyone

Write a letter withdrawing your petition - you have the address on your NOA1 and send it to USCIS and to the Embassy in India.

ROC 2009
Naturalization 2010

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Merrytooth Mentor

Merrytooth   5,748

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Singapore
 Timeline
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Always admit when Im wrong. And I was wrong but at least I got the real slap in my face now, instead when he was here. I thank god for that. Took him back, he had nothing to do with her. Monday they bumped into each other and she like him. So he ended it with me to be with her. Wait...It gets better...lol I know what he wants, and Im so pissed. He wants to be with her til he can be here with me. BS!!! Im so mad. How do I withdraw the petition?

Thanks everyone

Glad you have finally see the light (F) Please take care of yourself and your precious son.

You are not alone here:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/494558-ending-of-a-relationship-now-what/

If your I-129F petition has not yet been approved, then send a notarized letter to the service center that is processing your case. No explanation needed. You just need to state you are withdrawing your petition.

Done with K1, AOS and ROC

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BASA Explorer

BASA   8

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: India
 Timeline
Posted

Always admit when Im wrong. And I was wrong but at least I got the real slap in my face now, instead when he was here. I thank god for that. Took him back, he had nothing to do with her. Monday they bumped into each other and she like him. So he ended it with me to be with her. Wait...It gets better...lol I know what he wants, and Im so pissed. He wants to be with her til he can be here with me. BS!!! Im so mad. How do I withdraw the petition?

Thanks everyone

As i already said you before only please be happy where you are

forget about this relationship

do some meditation to come out of this and keep your self with your son which is more important part of your life

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amuna0526 Enthusiast

amuna0526   11

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Jordan
 Timeline
Posted

Write a letter saying that you would like to withdraw the petition for whatever his name is, have it notarized and stamped with case receipt number . Include a copy of your notice of action I-797. Send it certified.

Make sure that petition was withdrawn.

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