Fiance's new friend

[CanGirl 95]

His parents don't want him to leave, they are trying to get him to date this other woman. He may love you but he doesn't want to leave or he is not mature enough to think for himself. He is letting his parents dictate his life.

[AKukreti 24]

Now saying I have a kid, Im enjoying my life, but he has nothing or no one.

Now he needs to make a decision if he dies or go to the US.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Now saying I have a kid, Im enjoying my life, but he has nothing or no one.

Now he needs to make a decision if he dies or go to the US.

He sounds like a manipulative a$$hole.

[AKukreti 24]

Saying Im being selfish...

Now says he isn't going out with her but if he dies Im responsible.

Honestly, let me tell you this, what his family, particularly his mother, doing to you is some form of blackmail. He is being suicidal that is his family concern in India and they need to find a way to solve the problem instead sent you messages to make you feel guilty. It seems like his mother has no feeling by telling this to you. I am now suspicious that everything is all well-planned. Do they ask you send money to them?

They don't ask for money.

[Tina and Johan 206]

Now saying if I really love him I would leave the US and go be with him.

This seems to me like you're being manipulated by the whole group, and it comes down to he doesn't want to, or they don't want him to come to the US. any conversation that has "if you really loved me, you'd..." is a red flag. I'm sorry you're going through this.

[Golden Gate 530]

He is immature and not capable of thinking for himself, apparently. There are many fish in the sea. Don't sell yourself short with someone like this. I think you are now finding out. Stay strong.

[paddington_bear 30]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think there's a lot of pressure to go through with all of the paperwork once you pay and send in the I-129F--it looks like the ultimate commitment. In poker we call it "pot committed"--you've put so much money in the pot that you sort of have to keep paying when someone else raises the bet because you've already given so much to it, it's worth seeing how it "works out." Note: Any good poker player will tell you that betting because you're pot committed is a bad idea. It sounds to me this is a similar case: you filled out this paperwork, prepped your emotions and your day-to-day life to be with this person, and thought he was on a similar page. Just please don't feel like you can't exit this process because you've already devoted so much too it--sometimes it's better to fold, then to go through the thousands of dollars and months of work it takes to do this K1 for someone who isn't mature enough to be supportive of you (and not financially, I mean emotionally stable enough to commit to and support you.)

If he is quitting school, thinking he wants to quit life itself, and is even quitting your conversations, there's a troublesome pattern. I'm not sure he is psychologically able to follow through with as big of a commitment as you suggest. If you put aside the idea of the other women, since you simply dont know if he's being unfaithful in his intentions or not, there are still the problems of his being able to follow through.

That said, if you still want to fight for this, you need to make sure he will talk to you, particularly about seriously treating his depression. If he's having suicidal thoughts, you can do several things as his partner, but only if he is open and honest with you: he can talk to you about it, and agree to see a therapist (they have counselors in India). If he does love you and wants a life in a new place, he will want to treat his depression. That could solve a lot of problems.

[AKukreti 24]

His parents don't want him to leave, they are trying to get him to date this other woman. He may love you but he doesn't want to leave or he is not mature enough to think for himself. He is letting his parents dictate his life.

Yeah now he says he needs to talk to his parents about the situation.

[TJTIE2012 42]

Think it's time to move on. You have a child. Focus on your child.

You don't need this dram .

[Julie+Matt 84]

I wouldn't be comfortable with it if I were you. My ex used to go on lunch with another girl everyday at work. I didn't want to be "jealous" so I ignored it. Then a few days before he decided to kick me out, she drew him a picture. He broke up with me for her cuz she weaseled her way in on breaks & lunches (he insisted she was just a smoking buddy) I'm fine with that, though...cuz I met my fiancé through my ex (oddly enough) & he is the most amazing person I've ever met. I completely trust him. Personally, I avoid temptation. My fiancé will be here in a few months, so if I have to chill at home & be lonely-just texting him-it's fine with me. Because I don't cheat.

[Snag 57]

There are some major red flags here. OP, he sounds, quite frankly, immature and not really ready to meet the demands of marriage and fatherhood. The immigration process alone takes enormous emotional and mental strain on a couple. I agree with the rest of the answers and their mothers, it sounds like his parents don't want you in his life. If your timeline is correct, call/write to the USCIS with your case number and cancel the K1 petition. The last thing you want is him to come on over, K1 in hand, and stay illegally. You do have a right to be hurt and annoyed at the situation with the other female. Dude's got a lot of nerve. Best wishes.

Edited April 29, 2014 by Snag

[Sandra G. 5,047]

The guys is too dramatic. He sounds extremely immature! Do you really need this kind of man in your life? for what?.

Love is not enough , for me a strong relationship is based in love,respect,appreciation and communication, and it seems he is communicating too much with the other girl...time to move on.

Edited April 29, 2014 by sandranj

[AKukreti 24]

Then he has me to talk to his mom.

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

~ Moved from K-1 Process to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits - topic not about K-1 process/procedure, seems to fit best here ~

[lkerky 25]

If he has to have his mom talk to you then how do you expect him to help take care of your child when he is still a child asking mommy to take care of his business for him. You should be with a man that wants to be with you not another woman.

Also, it will NEVER be your fault if he takes his life. His family is blackmailing you.

Edited April 29, 2014 by lmihler