Fiance's new friend

[CanGirl 95]

It is not your problem if he quitted from the school and can't work. Why did he quit from school? He should have known better as a man - a real man- sitting around without doing anything is extremely shameful. I am a woman and the beneficiary but I still worked when my fiance filed petition for me until my K-1 visa was approved. He should learn how to be more responsible for his life and more important be ready for your future together.

Imagine when the time he comes to the US and everything is opposite from where he is come from. I think he will be depressed more than before and he might be point his fingers and blaming you for the whole situation. Tell him, in many Asian countries, most societies put a man in position to be a provider for his family. He has started learning now how to be that man. And stop act being a childish and using " depressed "word to make you feel awful.

I agree with this. There is absolutely no reason why he cannot work right now, besides being extremely sick and unable to leave his house. Why did he quit school when he knew he can't work? He is disrespecting you and your relationship by spending so much time alone with this woman. Why did his Dad bring this woman over? Does he want his son to see someone else, not you? Does he want his son to stay in India?

You need to have an in-depth discussion with your fiance and find out what is going on. No accusations, just talking politely and in a mild tone.

[AKukreti 24]

It is not your problem if he quitted from the school and can't work. Why did he quit from school? He should have known better as a man - a real man- sitting around without doing anything is extremely shameful. I am a woman and the beneficiary but I still worked when my fiance filed petition for me until my K-1 visa was approved. He should learn how to be more responsible for his life and more important be ready for your future together.

Imagine when the time he comes to the US and everything is opposite from where he is come from. I think he will be depressed more than before and he might be point his fingers and blaming you for the whole situation. Tell him, in many Asian countries, most societies put a man in position to be a provider for his family. He has started learning now how to be that man. And stop act being a childish and using " depressed "word to make you feel awful.

He quit school cause he apparently didn't like it there. I know he is younger than me. I am 28 and he is 21. I know he has a lot to learn but this situation I can't deal with. He says he is suicidal. Then his mother asks what will happen when he kills himself, will they mail the bones to me. Im so hurt. And I have no one. Cause he was all I had.

[CanGirl 95]

Best part his mom doesn't thing there is anything for me to be upset about it.

I get the impression that his parents want him to stay in India.

[AKukreti 24]

I know he isn't with me for the green card. I know he is in love with me. But he needs to grow up and deal with the fact the HE quit school, that HE doesn't have a job.

[AKukreti 24]

I agree with this. There is absolutely no reason why he cannot work right now, besides being extremely sick and unable to leave his house. Why did he quit school when he knew he can't work? He is disrespecting you and your relationship by spending so much time alone with this woman. Why did his Dad bring this woman over? Does he want his son to see someone else, not you? Does he want his son to stay in India?

You need to have an in-depth discussion with your fiance and find out what is going on. No accusations, just talking politely and in a mild tone.

He didn't like the school. I don't know why his dad brought her over. I believe his father wants him to stay in India and his mom. When I stayed at their home when I visited India the father didn't sit down with me once to have a conversation. And the mom keeps on talking about he only listens to me, and all this crazy nonsense.

[Pinkrlion 2,719]

it is an arranged marriage situation. he may love you, but he has no choice.

[AKukreti 24]

I can't deal with the suicidal talk.

it is an arranged marriage situation. he may love you, but he has no choice.

She knows about me and everything...You still think so?

[Pinkrlion 2,719]

in my honest opinion, yes. it is being arranged by his parents. I would have a long talk with him. I do not believe he is trying to use you for a gc, but you need to talk.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

He quit school cause he apparently didn't like it there. I know he is younger than me. I am 28 and he is 21. I know he has a lot to learn but this situation I can't deal with. He says he is suicidal. Then his mother asks what will happen when he kills himself, will they mail the bones to me. Im so hurt. And I have no one. Cause he was all I had.

Honestly, let me tell you this, what his family, particularly his mother, doing to you is some form of blackmail. He is being suicidal that is his family concern in India and they need to find a way to solve the problem instead sent you messages to make you feel guilty. It seems like his mother has no feeling by telling this to you. I am now suspicious that everything is all well-planned. Do they ask you send money to them?

[Golden Gate 530]

I would not accept my fiance going to a conference with another woman. Is he studying medicine or something? What does he have to do with this conference? I would say that his parents are trying to get him attached to this woman. The fact the father wouldn't sit down with you, and the mother complains that your fiance only listens to you and guilt tripping you about his depression suggests they aren't happy with the match he has made with you and are trying to undermine it in whatever way possible. Sorry to say, but your fiance doesn't sound like he has much of a backbone if he is using the excuse that he is bored, etc, to go with this woman.

[AKukreti 24]

Tried talking to him. And he said he will not hear all this nonsense and hung up on me.

[christeen 966]

Warning ... Parents have introduced this woman into his life as a possible way to undermine your relationship. There are many many cultural and parental,issues that you (and he) have to figure out....

[AKukreti 24]

Now complaining all I do is cry.

I don't have anyone. He is all I had. But he continues on. Now he is saying I am dominating.

[AKukreti 24]

Now saying if I really love him I would leave the US and go be with him. But I tell him all the time it isn't possible with my 4 year old son.

[biaobiao 40]

Maybe it is arrange marriage. Correct me if i am wrong, but i think it is the girl who gives dowry to guy in their culture.

So unless you can provide for all of his needs and more.. Then the relationship is doomed if the parents are fixing him to another girl