Have you been MENA-ized by your SO?

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Yesterday we were talking about children and a particular situation in the family. And Adam was saying that if his daughter did that she would be punished. Then I asked him what if a son did that? And he said its more tolerated, so I was like, No Honey... if our son can get away with it then so can a daughter... Then his famous line is.... well in Egypt!

Oh No Honey... This Isnt Egypt! -and thats my line and Im sticking to it!

Edited September 17, 2010 by ~PalmTreeGurl~

[Mithra 1,185]

I would like to say, "typical Egyptian double standard". But unfortunately, I think we've all, at one time or another, committed a double standard approach to something or another. My mother used to make me clean my room and make my bed as a child but she would take care of my brothers' rooms for them. How's that for double standard? My mother is American.

[momof1 205]

momof1said:

"I do everything my husband asks of me. I know that sounds terrible. It's just that I love him so much and he never asks for anything outrageous. If he wants some water, it doesn't hurt me to get it for him because he does the same for me."

That is so true!! its nice to feel needed and sometimes i would complain about bringing him his sandals or something, but he takes me shopping whenever i give him the puppy face so i can't really get mad

Marriage is a partnership. He won't ask anything he knows I wouldn't want to do so when he does ask for things I like to do it for him. We've worked really hard over the years to find a good balance between our careers and our family/home life. It's hard, but I think what helped us is that my husband lived away from his family for close to 7 years when we got married. He's now been living abroad for 15 years and I feel that he's a good mix of Algerian and American. I saw how his brothers acted when I was in Algeria, and I can honestly say if he ws anything like that we wouldn't have made it 8 years.

[Jenn! 918]

My teeth hurt.

Mine too.

I'll just say that Wadi is much more Americanized than I am Moroccanized. But we still don't see eye to eye on some things. And neither one of us are really the type to back down from our point of view, so I suspect we will never see eye to eye on some things. It's worked so far, so I hope that doesn't change.

Edited September 17, 2010 by Jenn!

[nurse1967 287]

I get really tired of all the non-arabic speaking spouses who throw around inshallah and hamdulllll or whatever it is.....seriously...it is rather strange.

[MrsAmera 41]

I guess that one depends on whether or not one is Muslim....I try and use the English equivalent of those terms esp in non-Muslim company.

[Mithra 1,185]

You know you're MENA'ized if....

I get really tired of all the non-arabic speaking spouses who throw around inshallah and hamdulllll or whatever it is.....seriously...it is rather strange.

[Laveau 67]

I get really tired of all the non-arabic speaking spouses who throw around inshallah and hamdulllll or whatever it is.....seriously...it is rather strange.

yea. my husband (non-arabic speaking Paki) does that. I wish he'd stop. Inshallah.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

^ The turn of the thread has gotten too funny. Love that last bit Shal. Comedians tell great truths.

In the beginning of the relationship I remember I felt uncomfortable when others used those words such as inshallah, hamdullah, mashallah. With more exposure to the culture however I have become more comfortable with it because I understand the meaning of those words with ease and where those people are coming from. Now, I don't see any problem with any level of non-arabic speaking or non-muslims in mena relationships using those words either. I would think if you're going to have a bi-cultural life with this person with the intention it's for the rest of your life, and especially kids are a factor in the picture, then both languages are going to be used in the homes and both cultures should be encouraged. Of course there are going to have to be compromises made in any relationship.

This next thing I'm going to share is a little off topic but it applies as well here since it's USC's and "mena-ization." I've had two dreams now where I'm talking with President Obama. I've never dreamed about talking with a president before. In the first dream I was sitting knee to knee with him in classic round chairs in his oval office. We're both crossed legged and sitting proper having a conversation. I'm talking to him about the economy and the frustration with looking for work and about immigration, ect and he's just being an open ear and listening to me. It was very comforting when I woke up.

In the second dream, which I had last night, this time we're in the White House again and he's standing in front of his desk leaning against it and I guess I'm sitting on a couch facing him and we're having another conversation. This time he spoke to me and he said, "You know when some one doesn't like you they are only going to look for things not to like about you."

When I woke up it reminded me of that saying. "Sometimes what people see in others that they dislike, is really a reflection of something they identify within themselves."

Edited September 18, 2010 by Cleocatra

[Laveau 67]

Palm Tree Girl, Im interested to know if Adam eats pork. I know he is Xtian but being raised in a predominantly Muslim country I surmise pork is/was new to his palate? or no?

Kamram has tried it and doesn't like cuts of pork like a pork chop or a pork roast. He simply does not like the taste. However, he will eat pork products like bacon, sausages, pepperoni, etc. It's clear that he has become way more westernized than I have become Pakistani-ized. I guess all countries have their non-religious folk. I highly doubt we would be togther if he was a devout Muslim or even close to it. Wait. I'm SURE we would not even come close to dating if that were the case. But I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the Paki accent. Cracks me and everybody up on this end.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Palm Tree Girl, Im interested to know if Adam eats pork. I know he is Xtian but being raised in a predominantly Muslim country I surmise pork is/was new to his palate? or no?

Kamram has tried it and doesn't like cuts of pork like a pork chop or a pork roast. He simply does not like the taste. However, he will eat pork products like bacon, sausages, pepperoni, etc. It's clear that he has become way more westernized than I have become Pakistani-ized. I guess all countries have their non-religious folk. I highly doubt we would be togther if he was a devout Muslim or even close to it. Wait. I'm SURE we would not even come close to dating if that were the case. But I do LOVE LOVE LOVE the Paki accent. Cracks me and everybody up on this end.

Adam has tasted it/eaten it, but he doesnt like it. Im not a fan of it either. I guess its the taste more so, bcz hes not used to it...I dont usually buy it or cook it. We eat turkey bacon, beef ribs, beef roast instead of pork. The only time I was actually surprised was at Thanksgiving when I bought a brown sugared honey ham for the family and he actually put it on his plate and ate it, then said he liked it. I was kinda puzzled, bcz the time before that when I gave it to him to try he said he didnt like it.

[Mithra 1,185]

Not sure what this has to do with the thread but I have heard of the saying and it is, sometimes, true. I don't think everyone realizes it, though. Sometimes people just don't like what others do or say or how they behave just because they can't relate or it's bothersome or who knows why. For example, I dislike certain personality traits my mother has that I share because, yeah I see myself in it and I don't like those things about myself. Alternatively, I'm not an overly friendly, cheerful, bubbly person so when I encounter those types they tend to annoy me. It's not that I see myself in them, their behavior is so opposite of mine and so off putting to me that I get annoyed.

When I woke up it reminded me of that saying. "Sometimes what people see in others that they dislike, is really a reflection of something they identify within themselves."

Edited September 18, 2010 by je veux ton amour

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Not sure what this has to do with the thread but I have heard of the saying and it is, sometimes, true. I don't think everyone realizes it, though. Sometimes people just don't like what others do or say or how they behave just because they can't relate or it's bothersome or who knows why. For example, I dislike certain personality traits my mother has that I share because, yeah I see myself in it and I don't like those things about myself. Alternatively, I'm not an overly friendly, cheerful, bubbly person so when I encounter those types they tend to annoy me. It's not that I see myself in them, their behavior is so opposite of mine and so off putting to me that I get annoyed.

Yep, exactly! It comes from a reflection of something we see in ourselves and it doesn't necessarily have to be the same thing that we see in others.

[zaytoona 8]

I read a lot of topics on these boards and it seems like people get annoyed too easily-so much that a friendly thread turns into a nasty cat fight. People take things too seriously. Many people want to argue and this is why most feel discouraged to post. So bitter. I guess it's easy to do so behind a computer.

I bet I just annoyed a few of you....

Zaytoona

[amal 4]

I read a lot of topics on these boards and it seems like people get annoyed too easily-so much that a friendly thread turns into a nasty cat fight. People take things too seriously. Many people want to argue and this is why most feel discouraged to post. So bitter. I guess it's easy to do so behind a computer.

I bet I just annoyed a few of you....

Zaytoona

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooo (insert sarcasm here) annoyyyyyyyyyyyyyed.... ..... ok, not really....