Have you been MENA-ized by your SO?

[Henia 11]

Well amoung the other threds recently started, things to discuss with your SO... MENA_ization.... or becoming very much (maybe too much) like the people of your SO's country has not been addressed. Of course, this could happen to any couple, but with MENA I think it can be more extreme and oblivous.

This thread is not meant to be funny or poke fun at anyone... but to enlighten.

I used the (made-up) word MENA-ization...not arabization or islamization as I think MENA-ization includes then everyone... not only Arabs and Muslims.

MENA-ization definition for reference to my meaning: gradual transformation or suddenly of a person into one that speaks the native tongue of their MENA SO and changing themselves in every or many things to be part of the their culture. Sometimes this happens to one who wants to please their SO or their SO's family... or in other cases by the demand of their SO. Signs of MENA-ization are and not limited to: Suddenly changing many or all outward appearances to become more like your SO's countrymen/women, converting a religion when one is not sure if it what one believes or is sure is even right, only surrounding yourself with people of that country now, etc... (there are many many more, but I just cannot think of them now)

I know many people, including myself (back in my young days of course) who at one point or time fell (lack of a better word) victim to MENA-ization... trying to please their SO. But when does doing little things to make your SO more comfortable and happy which is normal, into something abnormal???

[mybackpages 0]

Well amoung the other threds recently started, things to discuss with your SO... MENA_ization.... or becoming very much (maybe too much) like the people of your SO's country has not been addressed. Of course, this could happen to any couple, but with MENA I think it can be more extreme and oblivous.

This thread is not meant to be funny or poke fun at anyone... but to enlighten.

I used the (made-up) word MENA-ization...not arabization or islamization as I think MENA-ization includes then everyone... not only Arabs and Muslims.

MENA-ization definition for reference to my meaning: gradual transformation or suddenly of a person into one that speaks the native tongue of their MENA SO and changing themselves in every or many things to be part of the their culture. Sometimes this happens to one who wants to please their SO or their SO's family... or in other cases by the demand of their SO. Signs of MENA-ization are and not limited to: Suddenly changing many or all outward appearances to become more like your SO's countrymen/women, converting a religion when one is not sure if it what one believes or is sure is even right, only surrounding yourself with people of that country now, etc... (there are many many more, but I just cannot think of them now)

I know many people, including myself (back in my young days of course) who at one point or time fell (lack of a better word) victim to MENA-ization... trying to please their SO. But when does doing little things to make your SO more comfortable and happy which is normal, into something abnormal???

I think this is a very very interesting topic. How do we balance becoming intergrated into our SO's family and culture with maintaining who we are as individuals. It's a very difficult line to walk for some, in some areas more than other areas etc. And if you do change something about yourself (say adopting the SO's religion) for sincere reasons, will you rfamily or friends think its just MENA-ization?

[melly 0]

I'm always reluctant when I think of telling anyone I converted to Islam for just that reason - that they will think it was just for my fiance.

For goodness sakes, I have a brain of my own and while it might not always be evident, I do use it!!!

People are really rude and ought to think more before speaking.

[dollface41601 0]

i wouldnt say i have been "meannanized" but i have learned pretty fluent arabic from living there, i have toned down the way i dress, but i did disrespect myself alot in the past the way i use to dress...all the changes i made though, were never directed to impress my husband and his family, it was merely to better myself

[sarah and hicham 3]

I eat lamb much more than I used to.

[dollface41601 0]

I hate lamb...lol

[sarah and hicham 3]

I hate lamb...lol

I used to think it was too fatty but it's sooo good and rich!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Thank you for discussing these things for those of us who are interested to learn and listen for when our guys are here.

[Henia 11]

I eat lamb much more than I used to.

You are funny Sarah.

______

On another note, I have noticed on another board I am on, that many of women there and also many women in the masjid I used to attend that many were "MENA-ized" ... and I donnot mean some changes any person will go throu when marrying a person of another culture...but flipping themselves inside out ...coming out a totally different person. In some people I "felt" the chnage was genuine but in other it "felt" fake... and when talking to some of these women came to know many of these changes were by pressure of their SO or their SO's family...

I know in my first marriage, I tried hard to "fit in" and my ex tried to make me into "arab" ... which I did not appreciate at all and eventually was one of the reasons our relationship ended.

Thank you for discussing these things for those of us who are interested to learn and listen for when our guys are here.

Yes my intention is to be enlighten and maybe have other learn something too.... I know I went throu this in my 1st marriage... and in my 2nd (current) marriage... have had NO changes to appease anyone... and I have a relationship with my husband and his family for it I think.

If anyone out thinks this post is to make fun, sorry it is not my intention.

I hate lamb...lol

I used to think it was too fatty but it's sooo good and rich!

Depends how it is cooked and if it really lamb or just goat or mutton being called lamb.

I hate lamb...lol

I used to think it was too fatty but it's sooo good and rich!

Depends how it is cooked and if it really lamb or just goat or mutton being called lamb.

[Heartland 0]

I think both people change, especially if you are living in the other persons country. When I lived in Jordan, I dressed way more conservatively then I did before. I use to wear low cut tops and tops with thin straps. Now I dress a Little more demure. Not only was this because my DH asked me to do it but it even makes my children happier as they were always trying to redress me.

I expect when my DH is here he will change with a few things... it is more like, when in rome....

However.... when I was married the first time, I had to change a Little to live with him as well as him me. I think marriage is a blend of two people. So there is give and take with both

I hated even the thought of lamb till I had it UNKNOWINGLY there... and now I love it... but still cant see it on the bone.

Wendy

[Donna A 4]

i think my husband has become more american-ized then i have become mena-ized. and sarah...u r so right about eating more lamb now. the only time ive ever ate lamb was at the festivals in a gyro...now im cooking the stuff.

i think the only thing ive changed is making middle eastern food. i dont cook it on a daily basis but for special occasions for him.

but my best friend was really mena-ized when she married her lebonese husband. she became one of them right down to trying to get a lebonese passport (which failed). she changed religion....learned the language...covered her hair and even started believing everything they say about everything...etc.

now she has divorsed him and she is back to her old self except she uncoveres now. she still kept the religion but not following it as closely as she once did. she is even dating a christian man which is a no no. she is hoping to even marry him some day.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

she is even dating a christian man which is a no no. she is hoping to even marry him some day.

I was married to a Christian man for nearly 30 years, and I was born Muslim. God has no problem with it. Only Muslims do.

[Donna A 4]

well after her becoming muslim she would say...oh no i could never marry a christian man if something happened to my husband. thats a big no no in my religion.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

That was part of her MENAizing. It's not true that it's against the faith. It's just against cultural sensitivities. I wish her well.

[~Jackie~ 30]

grrrrrrrrrrr

J