PLEASE HELP , I NEED HELP

[sara82 4]

Sara,

The best thing you could do is to get the restraining order than you can stay in the house without him there until you figure out what to do.

Jon

beleie me this is the best solution, but my family they will be veryyyy sad if they know i did something like that , they love him, they still don't know whats happened, except my sister she cray all time, blaming me because i called the police, we are musulmane conservative, no body like whats is happening,

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Sara, you are a Permanent Resident of the US and San Diego. It's extremely hard to balance your traditions and your new and future realities, once you're involved in violence known to public and authorities. You can't initiate a felony charge (which you rightfully did with an emergency phone call), and then withdraw your co-operation. Prosecution can't do their job without your signed agreement to testify. If they have that from you, then they can force him into therapy. Remember: best outcome is him being forced into accepting plea bargain - probation, therapy in exchange for no jail time. You must work diligently with prosecution to achieve that. And apply for pro-bono divorce attorney immediately

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Sara, read this San Diego website.

It has all the information you need.

http://www.sdcourt.ca.gov/portal/page?_pageid=55,1524115&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL

Please don't blame yourself for what happen.

[Leatherneck 693]

He has little other option other than to make nice with you with a felony DV charge hanging over his head -- when you're looking at spending up to 4 years in a California state prison, that has a way of adjusting one's attitude, even if only temporarily.

Sara, if he hires a lawyer it's a common strategy when a felony domestic violence charge is pending for the lawyer to send one of its investigators to your house or try to arrange an interview with you for the purpose of trying to get you to sign a sworn statement that you "misunderstood" the situation when you called the police or made a "false statement" when you were interviewed by the arresting officer.

Do not sign anything presented to you by his lawyer or an investigator working for the lawyer. Lawyers use that strategy (your sworn statement) to try to get a felony charge(s) dismissed, as leverage to get the prosecutor to offer a plea bargain to reduce the charge(s) to misdemeanor domestic violence, or to get the charge(s) changed to something simple like 'disturbing the peace.'

In the city and county of San Diego, there is a "No-drop domestic violence" prosecution policy, and the city attorney's office and the county district attorney are very aggressive about domestic violence charges. Even if you do not want him prosecuted, the city or the district will move forward with the prosecution without you -- based on the evidence alone -- they do not need your help if you are unwilling. However, what you say during your interview (along with the evidence and the arresting officer's statement) with the prosecutor's investigator will help determine how strong of a case they have against your husband.

Treating you badly from the start of your arrival/marriage, leading up this incident shows a pattern -- which does not look good in the eyes of the prosecutor. They want to break the cycle, that is why they often prosecute without the victims cooperation.

To be charged with felony domestic violence in California is a very serious charge -- he will not walk away from this without a conviction of some sort. The difference between a misdemeanor and a felony domestic violence conviction is a matter of the possible jail time and where it is served, all other punishment is the same. A misdemeanor domestic violence conviction is no small matter and certainly nothing to feel lucky about.

[christeen 966]

Get yourself some time and space to think... You cannot do that bing in the sme house as him. Call the number, they will get you a place to sleep and counselors to help you sort out the conflicted feelings. But get away and some time to yourself... Do NOT stay in the same home... Call the numbers and ask for help,with a place to stay... They will help you..

[sara82 4]

Sara, you are a Permanent Resident of the US and San Diego. It's extremely hard to balance your traditions and your new and future realities, once you're involved in violence known to public and authorities. You can't initiate a felony charge (which you rightfully did with an emergency phone call), and then withdraw your co-operation. Prosecution can't do their job without your signed agreement to testify. If they have that from you, then they can force him into therapy. Remember: best outcome is him being forced into accepting plea bargain - probation, therapy in exchange for no jail time. You must work diligently with prosecution to achieve that. And apply for pro-bono divorce attorney immediately

i don't want to think about the divorce right now, im thinking how i will be far from him right now , before the court ,

[Teddy B 17,252]

I don't know why certain people insist on muddying the waters for this woman with "extra advice" and advice she doesn't understand. There is a language barrier here and this woman has been given the proper support and help by people who speak her language. Talking to her in terms of US law and procedures is not helping matters.

Good job Mimolicious!

Edited April 28, 2014 by Teddy B

[sara82 4]

He has little other option other than to make nice with you with a felony DV charge hanging over his head -- when you're looking at spending up to 4 years in a California state prison, that has a way of adjusting one's attitude, even if only temporarily.

Sara, if he hires a lawyer it's a common strategy when a felony domestic violence charge is pending for the lawyer to send one of its investigators to your house or try to arrange an interview with you for the purpose of trying to get you to sign a sworn statement that you "misunderstood" the situation when you called the police or made a "false statement" when you were interviewed by the arresting officer.

Do not sign anything presented to you by his lawyer or an investigator working for the lawyer. Lawyers use that strategy (your sworn statement) to try to get a felony charge(s) dismissed, as leverage to get the prosecutor to offer a plea bargain to reduce the charge(s) to misdemeanor domestic violence, or to get the charge(s) changed to something simple like 'disturbing the peace.'

In the city and county of San Diego, there is a "No-drop domestic violence" prosecution policy, and the city attorney's office and the county district attorney are very aggressive about domestic violence charges. Even if you do not want him prosecuted, the city or the district will move forward with the prosecution without you -- based on the evidence alone -- they do not need your help if you are unwilling. However, what you say during your interview (along with the evidence and the arresting officer's statement) with the prosecutor's investigator will help determine how strong of a case they have against your husband.

Treating you badly from the start of your arrival/marriage, leading up this incident shows a pattern -- which does not look good in the eyes of the prosecutor. They want to break the cycle, that is why they often prosecute without the victims cooperation.

To be charged with felony domestic violence in California is a very serious charge -- he will not walk away from this without a conviction of some sort. The difference between a misdemeanor and a felony domestic violence conviction is a matter of the possible jail time and where it is served, all other punishment is the same. A misdemeanor domestic violence conviction is no small matter and certainly nothing to feel lucky about.

Thank you for the interesting information you gave me, i m not going to sign any paper , pls i told him yesterday im not going to the court if they don't want me, he told me , anybody can go, i think a lawyer talked to him , he is asking now for some kind of evidence that he is good person, i told him even if they want me , im not going to tell them i was lying , or something , i will tell them the truth and of course i forgive him, he told me it was just misunderstanding between us, so i know he knew different things now , especially one of his relative he works in another city as a detective police, he told me i will call , him to help , and he told me we will work together to move on this situation, but i don't feel comfortable , because i don't know what will happens,

[sara82 4]

Get yourself some time and space to think... You cannot do that bing in the sme house as him. Call the number, they will get you a place to sleep and counselors to help you sort out the conflicted feelings. But get away and some time to yourself... Do NOT stay in the same home... Call the numbers and ask for help,with a place to stay... They will help you..

yes this is exactly what i need

I don't know why certain people insist on muddying the waters for this woman with "extra advice" and advice she doesn't understand. There is a language barrier here and this woman has been given the proper support and help by people who speak her language. Talking to her in terms of US law and procedures is not helping matters.

Good job Mimolicious!

yes i'm lucky to have this support here , in different languages

don't be jealous

Edited April 28, 2014 by sara82

[Teddy B 17,252]

yes this is exactly what i need

yes i'm lucky to have this support here , in different languages

don't be jealous

Like I said, language barrier.

[sara82 4]

i have one question , and i really need a answer

if i stay at the house without requesting restraining order, and without going to the shelter, is this mean i'm not co- operating with the Prosecution? what i told the officer the first time is exactly what i will tell forever.

i'm going out right now, i hope i get answer on my phone, Thanks

(The husband ) is at his job

Edited April 28, 2014 by sara82

[magysd 9]

Go ahead Sara , and try to call the Islamic C

[magysd 9]

Go ahead Sara , and try to call the Islamic Center in SD m they are interested in Muslims people , for sure they will help you immediately and telling you what to do in your problem .

Fernando .

[Darnell 8,478]

i have one question , and i really need a answer

if i stay at the house without requesting restraining order, and without going to the shelter, is this mean i'm not co- operating with the Prosecution? what i told the officer the first time is exactly what i will tell forever.

i'm going out right now, i hope i get answer on my phone, Thanks

(The husband ) is at his job

Yes, that's exactly what it means.

It might be useful, if the prosecution is trying to build a case against him, and the only viable witness, you, is not co-operating,

then

the DA's office will try something else.. In the end, the case might be dropped, on court day, but is too many variables for what's what.

[Golden Gate 530]

Yes, Sarah. Go to a shelter. It is not permanent, but can allow you the space to think, can get you opportunity to speak to counselors and sort things out for yourself. You don't tell him where you are going. It remains a secret. Although people don't like to call the police for these issues in Morocco, you have done the right thing for yourself. Continue to protect yourself. Don't worry about him now. I have been through this. You will do the right thing by going to a shelter in order to not have to deal with him. He will just try to convince you all is ok. Domestic Violence is a cycle. Now is the sweet-talking period.