PLEASE HELP , I NEED HELP

[fatimazahrae 5]

am here Sara dont be mad, yes this is like proverb (how many man needs a woman and how many woman needs a man ) this is not the end of the world, u really deserve a happy life , when i met you i knew what kind of woman you are , u are amazing believe me, u can stay with him if he changes , i know he was scared lastly, if he dosnt changes divorce him, i know u have been taking ur time to talk about divorce subject ,we ll talk later about everything

tomorrow everybody will tell u what next ?

everybody will tell u what 2 do , i will let mimolicious know whts happnd, nd her husband may talk 2 u on skype

Edited May 6, 2014 by fatimazahrae

[destiny64 222]

He won't be able to beat you again and again as you say, IF you leave the house. If you really fear for your safety this shouldn't be up for discussion.

Their are plenty of places to seek help and programs to get you on your way to independence. Don't get hung up on the fact that he didn't get charged.

Someone doesn't go to jail and charges brought against them just because he was accused of something , you need evidence. Don't give him the evidence , because next time it might be a lose /lose situation. If every man who brought an immigrant spouse was sent to jail because his wife accused him of battery, there would be an awful lot of innocent men in jail. I'm not saying yours is the case, just giving you some insight into the" beyond a reasonable doubt". Your husband doesn't need to be charged in order for you to seek help in a shelter.

[SusieQQQ 11,587]

u can stay with him if he changes , i know he was scared lastly, if he dosnt changes divorce him,

I know you have been amazingly helpful to Sara, but I think this is extremely bad advice. She should not go back in the hope he changes, because that hardly every happens. She deserves to find someone who respects her, but before that, she needs to find her little niche in her new country on her own two feet, not with someone who clearly had no interest in even helping her do so/integrate into a new life here...much less the real bad stuff. Edited May 6, 2014 by SusieQQQ

[fatimazahrae 5]

I know you have been amazingly helpful to Sara, but I think this is extremely bad advice. She should not go back in the hope he changes, because that hardly every happens. She deserves to find someone who respects her, but before that, she needs to find her little niche in her new country on her own two feet, not with someone who clearly had no interest in even helping her do so/integrate into a new life here...much less the real bad stuff.

Yeah she deserve someone who respect her,

if she get divorce or separation can SARA remove the condition on her green card by waive the joint filing requirement because of what's happened (violence) ?

[fatimazahrae 5]

He won't be able to beat you again and again as you say, IF you leave the house. If you really fear for your safety this shouldn't be up for discussion.

Their are plenty of places to seek help and programs to get you on your way to independence. Don't get hung up on the fact that he didn't get charged.

Someone doesn't go to jail and charges brought against them just because he was accused of something , you need evidence. Don't give him the evidence , because next time it might be a lose /lose situation. If every man who brought an immigrant spouse was sent to jail because his wife accused him of battery, there would be an awful lot of innocent men in jail. I'm not saying yours is the case, just giving you some insight into the" beyond a reasonable doubt". Your husband doesn't need to be charged in order for you to seek help in a shelter.

Hi, Why everybody try to help Sara , & u keep talking about the green card and immigration , u answered before this poor woman rude answer , she already has a green card, & how she call the police and she think about her status while she has no money and no place to go ,she even couldn't kicked him out from the house , her husband is simply a US criminal man , & there is a lot of US husbands/wives like him , they play with the feeling of the international women/men until they join them then they start doing what they want, they think their foreign spouses cant do anything , Sara if she is traditional Muslim woman , this doesn't mean he can do whatever he want with her, he didn't bought her from her family , she is human , and she wont him to beats her, & she will keep calling the police anytime he will try to beats her & they will open the case and he will go to the jail ,

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Hi, Why everybody try to help Sara , & u keep talking about the green card and immigration , u answered before this poor woman rude answer , she already has a green card, & how she call the police and she think about her status while she has no money and no place to go ,she even couldn't kicked him out from the house , her husband is simply a US criminal man , & there is a lot of US husbands/wives like him , they play with the feeling of the international women/men until they join them then they start doing what they want, they think their foreign spouses cant do anything , Sara if she is traditional Muslim woman , this doesn't mean he can do whatever he want with her, he didn't bought her from her family , she is human , and she wont him to beats her, & she will keep calling the police anytime he will try to beats her & they will open the case and he will go to the jail ,

Has Sara considered going home to be safe with her family? (Not trying to be mean here).

[fatimazahrae 5]

Has Sara considered going home to be safe with her family? (Not trying to be mean here).

She didn't decided yet, she can't just go home & she is still married, she needs to decide if she don't want to stay with him she should file for divorce here then go to her home, or she can stay here too if she want

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Yeah she deserve someone who respect her,

if she get divorce or separation can SARA remove the condition on her green card by waive the joint filing requirement because of what's happened (violence) ?

Yes, she can.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Yeah she deserve someone who respect her,

if she get divorce or separation can SARA remove the condition on her green card by waive the joint filing requirement because of what's happened (violence) ?

First of all, one could file I-751 removal of condition waiver if one is divorced. They still have to submit evidence they entered the marriage in good faith but did not work out in the end. Evidence for ROC like those listed below.

BONAFIDE EVIDENCE Example list for ROC

1. Evidence of Joint Ownership of Assets and Shared Financial Responsibility

• Joint Federal / State Tax transcripts
• Joint bank account statements
• Proof of joint credit card use
• Mortgage loan contract or lease contract with both partners’ names in it
• Power of Attorney
• Wills
• Utility / Cable TV / Cell phone / Pets visit / Membership / Joint purchase bills
• Life insurance policy showing spouse as beneficiary
• Health insurance / Dental / Medical Bills
• Car insurance
• 401(K) account information showing spouse as beneficiary

2. Photographic Evidence

• Photos of you two together
• Photos of you two with family (such as wedding, parties, kids’ graduation, etc.)
• Photos of you two in various locations and times

3. Other Evidence in Support of Bona Fide Marriage

• Birth certificates of any children born to you together
• Sworn affidavits of friends and/or family
• Letters/cards from friends and/or family
• Vacation / honeymoon photos / Boarding Passes showing both of you travelling together
• Hotel receipts with both your names
• Other Misc receipts with both partners’ names in shipping/billing address
• Joint Fishing or Hunting license
• List spouse as each other emergency contact from employers

For file I-751 waiver based on extreme cruelty by abusive spouse, one has to prove 2 things - bonafide marriage and abuse, which make it harder.

Abuse has to be supported by documentation like:

Expert testimony proving that you were battered or subjected to extreme mental cruelty. Examples of such testimony includes, but is not limited to:

• Evidence of the physical abuse, such as copies of reports or official records issued police, judges, medical personnel, school officials and representatives of social service agencies, and original affidavits as described above; or

• Evidence of the abuse, such as copies of reports or official records issued by police,courts, medical personnel, school officials, clergy, social workers and other social service agency personnel. You may also submit any legal documents relating to an order of protection against the abuser or relating to any legal steps you may have taken to end the abuse. You may also submit evidence that you sought safe haven in a battered women's shelter or similar refuge, as well photographs evidencing your injuries.

• Copy of your divorce decree if your marriage was terminated because of physical abuse or mental cruelty.

===========================================

Not sure how much proof of bona fide marriage evidence Sara has, given her short period of time in US.

If Sara is going the I-751 extreme cruelty abusive spouse route, then she must take steps to obtain above abuse evidence.

And Sara should not continue to live with her husband so that her husband could beat her again.

Edited May 6, 2014 by Merrytooth

[SingleDad2usc 71]

You show good logic below. But I must caution you: both Sara and yourself were asking WHY the case was dismissed. Part of the reason was authorities confusion between what has developed previously and what occurred that day. You seem to confuse his general abusive treatment of Sara over time (which is not CRIME) with the alleged assault committed that day. It appeared to investigator that the former caused Sara to claim the latter - but the latter was the only crime in the case, and evidence proved insufficient. Be careful with future accusations. One thing is an emergency 911 call, another thing is continuing to co-habitate and then claim violence again. Is danger only obvious after the physical contact?

Hi, Why everybody try to help Sara , & u keep talking about the green card and immigration , u answered before this poor woman rude answer , she already has a green card, & how she call the police and she think about her status while she has no money and no place to go ,she even couldn't kicked him out from the house , her husband is simply a US criminal man , & there is a lot of US husbands/wives like him , they play with the feeling of the international women/men until they join them then they start doing what they want, they think their foreign spouses cant do anything , Sara if she is traditional Muslim woman , this doesn't mean he can do whatever he want with her, he didn't bought her from her family , she is human , and she wont him to beats her, & she will keep calling the police anytime he will try to beats her & they will open the case and he will go to the jail ,

[christeen 966]

Iam i reading right? she is getti g advice to go live back with him so he can abuse her so,she can get him put in jail? Someone should NEVER go back to live with an abuser... What if the next time is serious harm or death? Nobody should be advising that she go live with him so that he abuses her again so she can get a case opened... That is possibly the worst advice I have heard! She needs to move forward on her own, with the help,of whatever resources offered to her...

[fatimazahrae 5]

Iam i reading right? she is getti g advice to go live back with him so he can abuse her so,she can get him put in jail? Someone should NEVER go back to live with an abuser... What if the next time is serious harm or death? Nobody should be advising that she go live with him so that he abuses her again so she can get a case opened... That is possibly the worst advice I have heard! She needs to move forward on her own, with the help,of whatever resources offered to her...

we don't advice Sara to go live with him, we know that the case is closed , & now she can start a new life , we were looking for advices to help her move on because she deserve a happy life , when i said if he beats her again he will go to the jail and the case will reopened just i was giving example to anybody who think there is no evidence show violence happened ,and may be she was just joking or looking for something because he can go to the jail next time if he beats her or beats anybody with police call or without

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Anyone in America may go to jail for assault, based on evidence. But Sara has to stay away from potential trouble, try to get pro-bono lawyer for divorce ASAP, and pursue education/work activity. No one says it's easy to do that on your own - but she is not handicapped, and she's legal

[Cathi 5,777]

Hi Sara,

I've had a very busy week, and I haven't checked in for a few days. I'm sorry to hear they dropped charges, I wasn't aware that could be done before court, then again I know little about the justice system. When I was growing up my dad was a police officer, he used to come home with all kinds of horror stories he would see on the job. I remember one story in particular about this one woman. He had gone to a domestic violence call(one of many at this home), husband and wife, when he arrived the husband had beaten the living ####### out of her. Her husband was cuffed and brought to the station, she was brought to the hospital. Her husband had broken her nose, the bone around one of her eyes, her wrist and several ribs. My dad went to the hospital to get an official statement from her, she refused to give one saying it was just a misunderstanding and he didn't "mean" to hurt her, she brought it on herself by arguing with him, she also wouldn't press charges(This was probably 35 years ago or so and the system was a lot different, she was allowed to drop charges and the police couldn't hold or charge him if she didn't press charges). Before my dad left the hospital he begged her to get out, that dropping charges and allowing her husband to come home with his empty promises of changing didn't mean anything, to stop blaming it on herself, he was never going to change and no man should lay a hand on a woman. His advice fell on deaf ears, there was nothing he could do to change her mind. The next day she was released from the hospital and by that time her husband had already been released and was home, having sworn he would never ever touch his wife in a hurtful way again. Four hours later she was dead. Her husband was so angry that he had to endure being in jail for all of 6 hours, he decided to beat her to death with his fists in front of their 4 small children while they begged him to stop hurting Mommy. The look on my Dad's face when he came home from work that day was one I had never seen, he was never ever the same after that. He wished he had pushed harder to get her to press charges, to pack up her kids and leave, he was heartbroken.

The reason I told you this Sara, is because if you decide to stay in that home with that husband of yours, this could be you. I don't know why the police didn't press charges, but did you get that restraining order? If you continue to live with him and he touches you again and you call 911, they may not believe you because you decided to stay when you said he had beaten you in the past. It's your word against your husband's and it seems they believe him at this point. People here on visa journey don't know the whole story of what has been happening to you since you arrived, they don't know all of the details of the night he was arrested. It was a lot more than a few bruises on your arm, he put a pillow over your face and tried to suffocate you. Next time he may succeed. I beg of you to get out, get as far away from him as humanly possible. You can still go to a shelter, there doesn't need to be charges against him to get into one. Let them help you, let them help you get your life back on track. You deserve better. Get out so you aren't the next statistic.

Edited May 6, 2014 by mimolicious

[Cathi 5,777]

am here Sara dont be mad, yes this is like proverb (how many man needs a woman and how many woman needs a man ) this is not the end of the world, u really deserve a happy life , when i met you i knew what kind of woman you are , u are amazing believe me, u can stay with him if he changes , i know he was scared lastly, if he dosnt changes divorce him, i know u have been taking ur time to talk about divorce subject ,we ll talk later about everything

tomorrow everybody will tell u what next ?

everybody will tell u what 2 do , i will let mimolicious know whts happnd, nd her husband may talk 2 u on skype

No she shouldn't stay with him, end of story. He isn't going to change. Sara wasn't his first victim, he imported another wife before Sara who divorced him the minute she got citizenship. She needs to move out, a shelter will still take her, she can divorce and remove conditions on her green card on her own. This man is looking for a woman who will wait on him hand and foot, to cook, clean and to be available for his every whim, all the while being physically and verbally abusive. She still had all the resources available to her, people who can and will help her move on and start her life.