PLEASE HELP , I NEED HELP

[Cathi 5,755]

Great job!

So tonight, a restraining order will be served on him. Can you explain what kind it is: what does it tell him "he is not allowed to do"?

I haven't talked to Sara since Tuesday night. I will try to reach her today to find out what the restraining order says, thanks for your continued concern. There is a 3 hour time difference, and I'm not sure if she decided to stay in the home or go to a shelter. I'll let everyone know.

[sara82 4]

I haven't talked to Sara since Tuesday night. I will try to reach her today to find out what the restraining order says, thanks for your continued concern. There is a 3 hour time difference, and I'm not sure if she decided to stay in the home or go to a shelter. I'll let everyone know.

hi mimolicious hi everybody, the restraining order is issued , i picked number 1 and number 2 , no contact ..........................and stay away , i was not aggressive to pick move out , because i know i will have problem to pay the rent, if he move out and the people they help me they can't do much ,and i do not deserve to be in shelter +after 28 days i need to have income to move to another shelter and i have no income so i had with their help and advice to pick *the worse restraining order* but like they said it wont change the judge decision , like they said and its good too, after 20 days i will have hearing with *husband* and next week he will be in court alone, he said he will insist to not guilty in the court to change the felony to misdemeanor, /i don't talk to him/ the restraining order not served yet , 2 days issued, today he asked me (i knew he is lying), to help him sign paper for his bail , i knew his cousin he already signed paper while he was in jail, i said No,

now people they advice me, what to do everyday, i contacted the detective but there was no answer back to tell him i co operate with them, the lawyer who works with me contacted the detective too , after several phone calls , busy lines, she left a message , that i'm there with them and i'm ready to co operate with them , but there is no call back, , next week , i don't know what will happens with him when he will say i didn't do anything, and what will happens, 20 days later in the hearing date when i will insist that he did everything and i will make sure they understand why he stayed at the house after the jail,

now i need medical personnel , to have with the violence evidences , can somebody tell me what means medical personnel ? i have kaiser permanente health insurance joint with him, i would like to see a doctor , but i don't know how much it cost this medical ? and what means this medical its just normal medical consultation or its something different?

Thanks

Edited May 3, 2014 by sara82

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Why do you need violence evidence?

You can go to the doctor. It will probably cost a co-pay, like $25 or so; it should be listed on the insurance card.

[fatimazahrae 5]

hi mimolicious hi everybody, the restraining order is issued , i picked number 1 and number 2 , no contact ..........................and stay away , i was not aggressive to pick move out , because i know i will have problem to pay the rent, if he move out and the people they help me they can't do much ,and i do not deserve to be in shelter +after 28 days i need to have income to move to another shelter and i have no income so i had with their help and advice to pick *the worse restraining order* but like they said it wont change the judge decision , like they said and its good too, after 20 days i will have hearing with *husband* and next week he will be in court alone, he said he will insist to not guilty in the court to change the felony to misdemeanor, /i don't talk to him/ the restraining order not served yet , 2 days issued, today he asked me (i knew he is lying), to help him sign paper for his bail , i knew his cousin he already signed paper while he was in jail, i said No,

now people they advice me, what to do everyday, i contacted the detective but there was no answer back to tell him i co operate with them, the lawyer who works with me contacted the detective too , after several phone calls , busy lines, she left a message , that i'm there with them and i'm ready to co operate with them , but there is no call back, , next week , i don't know what will happens with him when he will say i didn't do anything, and what will happens, 20 days later in the hearing date when i will insist that he did everything and i will make sure they understand why he stayed at the house after the jail,

now i need medical personnel , to have with the violence evidences , can somebody tell me what means medical personnel ? i have kaiser permanente health insurance joint with him, i would like to see a doctor , but i don't know how much it cost this medical ? and what means this medical its just normal medical consultation or its something different?

Thanks

Congratulations sara , am glad you succeed to request a restraining order, i understand you , i imagine how you move from place to place with no car in this the hot weather in south cali, no friend to ask, no body, what did you do is great , do not think because he stayed in the house with what you called worse restraining order, it means you are helping him and not co-operating with the police, you had no choice , if they see he needs a prison they ll put him in prison, if they see he needs jail they will not hesitate , or long time restraining order, enjoy now your time in San diego , have a friends and do not think too much

i think u re asking for medical personnel for the future as evidence while you may remove the condition without him if you divorce him , i think you need just to see a doctor use the card you have , am not sure if the medical personnel in the form i751 is something different than seeing a normal doctor or not ,

they will help u here in this post do not worry

Moroccan like you (fatimazahrae)

[QueenComley 295]

Sara you are a true inspiration and an incredibly strong woman. I wish you nothing but happiness in your life going forward. I am from England, and I have found it so hard to adapt here, but for you it must have been 100 times more difficult, not to mention everything that has happened the last few weeks to you, yet you were able to accomplish so much.

Be proud. I think your amazing. And I hope your strength and determination may help any other VJ members who may be experiencing Domestic Violence or Verbal and emotional abuse to seek help.

[Cathi 5,755]

hi mimolicious hi everybody, the restraining order is issued , i picked number 1 and number 2 , no contact ..........................and stay away , i was not aggressive to pick move out , because i know i will have problem to pay the rent, if he move out and the people they help me they can't do much ,and i do not deserve to be in shelter +after 28 days i need to have income to move to another shelter and i have no income so i had with their help and advice to pick *the worse restraining order* but like they said it wont change the judge decision , like they said and its good too, after 20 days i will have hearing with *husband* and next week he will be in court alone, he said he will insist to not guilty in the court to change the felony to misdemeanor, /i don't talk to him/ the restraining order not served yet , 2 days issued, today he asked me (i knew he is lying), to help him sign paper for his bail , i knew his cousin he already signed paper while he was in jail, i said No,

now people they advice me, what to do everyday, i contacted the detective but there was no answer back to tell him i co operate with them, the lawyer who works with me contacted the detective too , after several phone calls , busy lines, she left a message , that i'm there with them and i'm ready to co operate with them , but there is no call back, , next week , i don't know what will happens with him when he will say i didn't do anything, and what will happens, 20 days later in the hearing date when i will insist that he did everything and i will make sure they understand why he stayed at the house after the jail,

now i need medical personnel , to have with the violence evidences , can somebody tell me what means medical personnel ? i have kaiser permanente health insurance joint with him, i would like to see a doctor , but i don't know how much it cost this medical ? and what means this medical its just normal medical consultation or its something different?

Thanks

Hi Sara, I am not sure what they mean by violence evidence. Are they looking for marks on your body, mental and verbal abuse? The attack happened over a week ago, if there were any bruises or anything they are probably gone by now. Did you try to contact your interpreter to ask what that means? You have health insurance, and as Harpa said it will just cost a small co-payment(my copay is $20). First find out exactly what they are looking for, then look at the back of your health insurance card, there should be a website printed on the back for you to go to with a list of doctors who accept your insurance on the site. Ask your advocate exactly what they want, write it down, then call the interpreter. If you can't reach your interpreter, my husband will be around later today and you can talk to him on skype again, or you can call me. I saw you on skype last night and messaged you, but you didn't respond. Let me know.

[fatimazahrae 5]

i understand what SARA she needs , they didn't asked anything from her , last week the police take enough injury pictures , one friend here in visa journey explained to me why she want to know what means this medical personnel,

SARA is thinking to have all the violence evidence in the future not now and she doesn't want to miss anything now, in case if there is a divorce between her and her husband, and in case if she stay in the US and want to remove the condition on her green card by herself, she asked one friend here that she may need like i said , in case if she stay here and not moving to her home country witch is my country too, she may need a medical personnel , sara she do not understand what means this medical , if its just normal consultation witch she can do now , or its medical who must be taken in the day when her husband abused her to show the injury in her body ,

i hope some body can help here , i really wish if i could know the answer

do not worry SARA , you will get an answer today

[Cathi 5,755]

i understand what SARA she needs , they didn't asked anything from her , last week the police take enough injury pictures , one friend here in visa journey explained to me why she want to know what means this medical personnel,

SARA is thinking to have all the violence evidence in the future not now and she doesn't want to miss anything now, in case if there is a divorce between her and her husband, and in case if she stay in the US and want to remove the condition on her green card by herself, she asked one friend here that she may need like i said , in case if she stay here and not moving to her home country witch is my country too, she may need a medical personnel , sara she do not understand what means this medical , if its just normal consultation witch she can do now , or its medical who must be taken in the day when her husband abused her to show the injury in her body ,

i hope some body can help here , i really wish if i could know the answer

do not worry SARA , you will get an answer today

actually she doesn;t understand what they need. I have talked to her personally several times in the last week, and she never mentioned a word to myself or my husband that the police took any pictures. I will get it straightened out when I talk to her tonight

[destiny64 222]

From the initial post, stating he beat her in the arm and threw her clothes. Probably the police couldn't see anything visible to take a photo of, unless he hit her hard enough in the arm to cause a bruise. Seems like it's a bit too late for that. I fear that , in this case he might just walk away with a restraining order against him only.

Stay at the shelter and begin to think about your future. You aren't the first and sadly not the last to go through this. The shelter is equipped to give you all the advice and resources to move forward in your life.

[fatimazahrae 5]

i met SARA this morning, i had to visit San diego and i asked if i meet her, she accepted to meet me, she is very calm woman and very beautiful too, she is shy and educative , she is from educative and very conservative family ,Sara she never ever imagined she will be in such situation.

the police takes pictures to the bruise and injury in her arm, her husband is really criminal i saw how much she was patient with him since she moved to US, we take a coffee together , we went to the park, now she has a friend , she has me, and some friends she just met last week, they live close to her house, she thanks everybody in Visa journey, everyone who advised her, and sent her supportive sms , she thanks mimolicious and her husband , she will stay in touch with us until the end of this story,

she deserve better life , happy life

your friend fatimazahrae

Edited May 4, 2014 by fatimazahrae

[Cathi 5,755]

i met SARA this morning, i had to visit San diego and i asked if i meet her, she accepted to meet me, she is very calm woman and very beautiful too, she is shy and educative , she is from educative and very conservative family ,Sara she never ever imagined she will be in such situation.

the police takes pictures to the bruise and injury in her arm, her husband is really criminal i saw how much she was patient with him since she moved to US, we take a coffee together , we went to the park, now she has a friend , she has me, and some friends she just met last week, they live close to her house, she thanks everybody in Visa journey, everyone who advised her, and sent her supportive sms , she thanks mimolicious and her husband , she will stay in touch with us until the end of this story,

she deserve better life , happy life

your friend fatimazahrae

awesome, happy for you both!

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Good job! You didn't make it clear, though, when she's moving out. Also, whether she fully understands how to co-operate with prosecution. Clearly, this week court will just hear his "not guilty" plea and set a trial date about a month out. Prosecution must have Sara's signature that Sara will testify. Without such signature, prosecution will just adjourn for another month - and if 90 days passes without trial, then he can move for dismissal (due to his right for speedy trial). In the meantime, on every court date Sara needs to get Restraining Order extended. Not to forget: best outcome is that Sara's willingness to testify will force him into plea bargain. If he pleads guilty to something that doesn't carry obligatory jail time - but does carry obligatory therapy, anger management, etc - that's ideal outcome.

Beyond his court, Sara should apply as soon as possible for pro-bono family attorney - so she can proceed with divorce. She'll get help to finalize her immigration at the same place. But most important is to immerse into English program, so she can get a job she likes. Everything else will fall into place naturally

[sara82 4]

Good job! You didn't make it clear, though, when she's moving out. Also, whether she fully understands how to co-operate with prosecution. Clearly, this week court will just hear his "not guilty" plea and set a trial date about a month out. Prosecution must have Sara's signature that Sara will testify. Without such signature, prosecution will just adjourn for another month - and if 90 days passes without trial, then he can move for dismissal (due to his right for speedy trial). In the meantime, on every court date Sara needs to get Restraining Order extended. Not to forget: best outcome is that Sara's willingness to testify will force him into plea bargain. If he pleads guilty to something that doesn't carry obligatory jail time - but does carry obligatory therapy, anger management, etc - that's ideal outcome.

Beyond his court, Sara should apply as soon as possible for pro-bono family attorney - so she can proceed with divorce. She'll get help to finalize her immigration at the same place. But most important is to immerse into English program, so she can get a job she likes. Everything else will fall into place naturally

Hi everybody thank you Fatimazahrae , Big thanks to mimolicious , and big thanks to Simgledadusc for you advices , you are RIGHT ,they know i'm co-operating but no body called back , my* husband *told me he will say-not guilty- to reduce the charge , he still has not received the restraining order, he just receives everyday mails from attorneys to help him, he asked me this weekend to sign something and today he asked me that its better if i go with him to the court next week, to help him when he will be face to the judge , he will get nothing from me , i made it clear for him , i can't wait until he receive the restraining order to stop battering me , how he can imagine me doing something like that no body called me and i go to the court to help him

plz singledadus i listen to you, how can i sign to testify ? and what means i sign to testify ?

Do i have to call somebody?, or they will call me automatically when he will say -not guilty- like he told me he is going to do

Tuesday is the firs court date , but they stil looking for him, he has not received yet the restraining order , its issued 4 days ago,

Singledad2usc this first court date i do not need to extend the restraining order Right ! its not served yet?

what about the hearing date (20 daysfrom now) when the restraining order will expire do i need to tell the judge in the same day i need a new restraining order ? or before it expire i should extend it ?or may be the judge will issue one without me asking ?

what i understood , if the husband say -not guilty- in the first court date this means the felony change to misdemeanor and there is no prison, but he can have jail if he pleads guilty to something that does carry obligatory jail time, and me i should insist to what he did to me in every time right?

do you mean by pro bono lawyer volenteer lawyer ?

Thank you everybody i hope singledad2usc have a time to answer my questions if he don't mind

this help is much appreciated

[fatimazahrae 5]

Yes when i talked to Sara she told me that her husband was going to tell the judge that he needs to support his wife , and his wife needs him, he was going to beg the judge if he see he is going to the prison, but since her husband he started asking the lawyers and asking his relative who works with a police in another city he understood that he can be safe just by insisting that he didn't do anything, not guilty- no context, i told Sara to just keep telling them exactly what's happened and if there is no prison, at least he may have jail if he says something that leads to jail ,

Sara she wish they don't drop out or withdraw the case , she will be happy if they give him jail or just something, especially now her husband is optimistic after the help he got from lawyers and some relatives to keep saying -not guilty- he needs his wife's help now , she told me he was scared from the prison , now he wants the case to be closed because he is thinking how he will pay the bans, hehe already

Edited May 5, 2014 by fatimazahrae

[SingleDad2usc 71]

1. Show up on Tuesday. Never talk to him. Talk only to Assistant District Attorney (ADA) who is prosecuting the case.

2. He'll be served the Order by the Judge, and you'll be given carbon copy

3. He'll plead not guilty, but the charge will not be reduced. Date will be set for trial

4. ADA should take your signature that you will testify. Request photocopy

5. Only the day of trial (about a month from now), ADA and his defense attorney are likely to make a deal. Best outcome for you is NO jail time for him - but he must plead guilty to something offered by ADA. His punishment will be therapy, anger management, he'll have to come back in front of the Judge every month to report his progress in therapy. All this time (maybe a year?) you'll be given Order of Protection. Only after he completes treatment, this case will be dismissed and sealed. So in the long run, his work and future will not be damaged by criminal record. But in the short run - you will be completely safe, because as long as he is under Court's Jurisdiction (a year?), he can't even contact you