Tying the Gordian Knot

[Background Pony 0]

I don't think I could have made things harder on myself if I'd tried. I'm a U.S. citizen, and here's my Ulyssian journey so far.

When I originally fell in love three years ago (2011), my relationship was considered invalid for the purposes of immigration in America. Though legally we were both males, my partner was in fact trans. I'll try to keep things less confusing and just use his legal gender on this forum for pronouns, but it bears mentioning. We met online, and he was from Denmark. While originally believing we didn't have a chance, as neither of our home countries accepted gay couples, we continued talking, and things naturally took their course. Our original plan was for him to use his EU status to move to another country, and we chose England, mistakenly believing it was legal there for us to marry. (It wasn't, they only allowed Civil Partnerships, though I believe they'll begin allowing it come summer 2014 if I remember correctly.) Regardless, he moved, and a little later, I, a young man with nothing tying me down and a head full of dreams, sold my car and bought a plane ticket to visit him there on a tourist visa. I ended up staying the full three months, and it was obvious we were meant for each other.

I returned to the states afterwards and spent some difficult time apart. After more research we learned Denmark had recently legalized marriage for us, so I rejoined him again in England for a week before the both of us went to Denmark and were married. Unfortunately, we could not live in Denmark either, as immigration law stated that both spouses must be in excess of 24 years of age, which we both failed as a requirement and still do. Left with not a lot of options, we moved to the first country that offered him a job, which turned out to be Ireland. I acquired a family Stamp 4 visa and we stayed there for about a year and a half, until DOMA was repealed. I had been waiting for that day, and misreading some government websites, assumed I could return with my spouse with him on a tourist visa and file for adjustment of status while he was there. The Boston Airport Border Patrol thought differently. They returned him at the port of entry on his arrival, and I spent a few uncomfortable nights in the airport waiting to pay for a ticket I could just barely afford. We lost all our money paying for the plane tickets both ways, and were forced to spend a few months in Denmark with his mother while we recouped some money to set ourselves up again in Ireland.

We came back to Ireland and recently both began working again. I'm ready to file my 1-130 and begin rolling the ball proper, but I'm certain there's roadblocks in abundance just waiting to snag me. To that end, this website was pretty valuable in filling out those forms, (my spouse had his A Number handwritten into the back of his passport and I never would have even known to check without reading it here), so I figure an account can't hurt. I'm sure my case will be receiving extra scrutiny with being legally homosexual, a spouse who looks the opposite gender they're filing as, living outside the US, being denied entry previously on a VWP, living in a country that neither spouse is a citizen of, etc.

So yeah, hiya. Hopefully my gordian knot doesn't become a noose in the meantime. Thanks for your previous and future help.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Hey Pony. I really don't see any problems with your case. You are legally married and have a valid relationship. His denial on the VWP just means that they suspected he was entering on the VWP for the purpose of immigrating, which is illegal. But as long as he didn't lie, then there should be no issue pursuing the spousal visa. That is an immigrant visa and is correct for immigrating to the US.

Regarding the gender, I think you understand you'll go by the legal gender. His trans status will have no bearing otherwise, since both same sex and opposite sex couples are allowed for immigration purposes now.

You had some bumps on the road, misunderstanding about how to immigrate to the US, but everything should be fine now.

Start researching the affidavit of support requirements and the need to establish intent to reestablish domicile in the US. Best of luck.

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

You have had such a long, hard road, but I think it's going to turn out just fine for you both. The trans status, as Harpa said, shouldn't have any bearing on things. They now treat a legally same-sex marriage the same as an opposite sex one. The forms are no different in any way and the only time you would have to disclose trans status openly would be possibly at the medical (and it is in no way grounds for inadmissibility--though you may need letters from a psychiatrist if your partner has fallen into any of the depression or suicidal ideation pitfalls that can come with the pain of being trans and young. Even if this turns out to be the case, however, you have not hit a brick wall, you just would have to prove your partner is now stable) and possibly at the interview if the presented gender doesn't match the sex on the forms.

I would recommend, and I'm sure you've already considered it, that you make sure that you're going to be able to move to a place in the states that is as trans-friendly as possible, because it can be super hard in a lot of places for a trans* person to find jobs.