Parents

[Lights 56]

So, as I'm approaching the end of phase 1 for my K1 (interview is just a few days away - OMG!! breathe...) I'm starting to think about how amazing my family is and how much I will miss them. My parents from a young age always said that they planned on buying a vacation home in the US so they could spend a few months in the sun while it just rains here in rainy Vancouver. I never doubted that they'd actually do it (buy a place in Palm Springs, Arizona etc.) and it became more real when the housing market became more affordable. But now that I am moving to SoCal, my parents have been discussing this more and more. They are still young and have at least another 5 years of work left. My dad is self-employed and my mom can work PT when they decide to 'slow down'.

I know we're far from me being able to sponsor my parents over... but I'm interested to know what others have done. Has anyone ever brought their parents over? I've been thinking that since we are able to spend 180 days in the US a year or 6 months, that it may not be necessary for them to be sponsored. I would think it would be beneficial for them to have residency in Canada since their pension, retirement, and health care is all set there. But I dread the day that my parents will be too old to travel and like how my parents took care of my ailing grandparents, I would like to be there for them when that happens. I know this is years down the line but I'm an extreme planner I'm also very curious to know what others have done.

[Erica & L 52]

Vancouverite here!

I don't have a close relationship with 98% of my family, so I can't really speak from experience, but unless you plan to stay in the US for the rest of your life, going through that whole process might be much more trouble than it's worth. Especially since Canada is just over the border, not across the ocean. Most Canadian posters on here, myself included, would like to eventually go back to Canada, so I mean I guess it depends on what your long term plans are, if you can see yourself living in the US permanently or not. Canada has a lot more to offer, in my opinion. The US just has a lower cost of living.

[Lights 56]

Vancouverite here!

I don't have a close relationship with 98% of my family, so I can't really speak from experience, but unless you plan to stay in the US for the rest of your life, going through that whole process might be much more trouble than it's worth. Especially since Canada is just over the border, not across the ocean. Most Canadian posters on here, myself included, would like to eventually go back to Canada, so I mean I guess it depends on what your long term plans are, if you can see yourself living in the US permanently or not. Canada has a lot more to offer, in my opinion. The US just has a lower cost of living.

Thanks! I will never say never... but based on my soon to be husbands profession and mine, it looks like the US is a lot better choice for us. Also climate wise, I just can't stand the rain and the cold. It is unlikely that we will move back to Canada. The chances become much slimmer when we have children because we will not want to be a part from them, should they want to remain in the US.

[ricnally 259]

Vancouverite here!

I don't have a close relationship with 98% of my family, so I can't really speak from experience, but unless you plan to stay in the US for the rest of your life, going through that whole process might be much more trouble than it's worth. Especially since Canada is just over the border, not across the ocean. Most Canadian posters on here, myself included, would like to eventually go back to Canada, so I mean I guess it depends on what your long term plans are, if you can see yourself living in the US permanently or not. Canada has a lot more to offer, in my opinion. The US just has a lower cost of living.

Gross exaggeration there, I'd say, that "most Canadian posters on here..would like to..go back to Canada." I, for one, will not be going back.

[Erica & L 52]

Gross exaggeration there, I'd say, that "most Canadian posters on here..would like to..go back to Canada." I, for one, will not be going back.

A lot of people and threads I've posted in many Canadian posters have said they'd rather be back in Canada or would like to go back at some point. Obviously I wasn't referring to *everyone* when I said most. No need to take the post so literally or act personally offended. Geez.

[ricnally 259]

A lot of people and threads I've posted in many Canadian posters have said they'd rather be back in Canada or would like to go back at some point. Obviously I wasn't referring to *everyone* when I said most. No need to take the post so literally or act personally offended. Geez.

No, you didn't say "everyone", but you did say "most". In your second post, you said "many" which is a much more reasonable.

[Lights 56]

With a life decision like this... I tend not to care about what most or many people do and worry about what feels right for me. I appreciate your opinion because you feel that Canada has more options for you. But that's not really what I'm asking nor is it really the case for me. I am pretty successful in Vancouver and have bought a home and was comfortable. I could see myself living in Vancouver my whole life... since I was born and raised here. But now that I have the opportunity to relocate, I feel that California has a lot more to offer me and the cost of living is not much different from Vancouver and SoCal. But that's me and my circumstances, which led me to ask my original questions about my parents and their inevitable retirement plan.

I understand that it's an ordeal but as I mentioned in my original post, my parents have always considered moving south for stretches of time when they retire. At first it was maybe a few weeks every few months. However this was an idea based on not having a daughter move down to California. Now that I am, it changes our dynamic a bit. They want to be around and I love them for that. My brother is also considering med school in the US, but likely not for another 2 years. Also, with my fiance and I planning on having children in the next 3-4 years, they definitely want to be around much more. It would be different, I suppose, if it were Seattle and Vancouver. Where we could drive back and forth every few weekends. But we're a plane ride away and yes, we could go back and forth every month or two, but when my parents retire, why not have them around especially when they WANT to as well. The only thing that is of concern, is what happens to their retirement plan, their health care, and their investments. Would they still be eligible to receive their RRSP and such while living outside of Canada? Should they spend half the time in Canada and keep their house as their primary residence? Obviously they wouldn't be working in the US as when they're ready they'd be retired by then. They would buy a place in California and in Canada, but does that complicate things when they are just Canadians who so happens to spend a lot of time in the US (legal amount of time)?

So, I appreciate your opinion based on your experiences but I'm not asking what most people have expressed and to second guess where I want to live. I know what's best for me and I'm just asking for information based on my situation and hoping to get insight on people who did remain in the US and who were close with their families and how did they manage that.

Edited April 26, 2014 by Lights

[Erica & L 52]

With a life decision like this... I tend not to care about what most or many people do and worry about what feels right for me. I appreciate your opinion because you feel that Canada has more options for you. But that's not really what I'm asking nor is it really the case for me. I am pretty successful in Vancouver and have bought a home and was comfortable. I could see myself living in Vancouver my whole life... since I was born and raised here. But now that I have the opportunity to relocate, I feel that California has a lot more to offer me and the cost of living is not much different from Vancouver and SoCal. But that's me and my circumstances, which led me to ask my original questions about my parents and their inevitable retirement plan.

I understand that it's an ordeal but as I mentioned in my original post, my parents have always considered moving south for stretches of time when they retire. At first it was maybe a few weeks every few months. However this was an idea based on not having a daughter move down to California. Now that I am, it changes our dynamic a bit. They want to be around and I love them for that. My brother is also considering med school in the US, but likely not for another 2 years. Also, with my fiance and I planning on having children in the next 3-4 years, they definitely want to be around much more. It would be different, I suppose, if it were Seattle and Vancouver. Where we could drive back and forth every few weekends. But we're a plane ride away and yes, we could go back and forth every month or two, but when my parents retire, why not have them around especially when they WANT to as well. The only thing that is of concern, is what happens to their retirement plan, their health care, and their investments. Would they still be eligible to receive their RRSP and such while living outside of Canada? Should they spend half the time in Canada and keep their house as their primary residence? Obviously they wouldn't be working in the US as when they're ready they'd be retired by then. They would buy a place in California and in Canada, but does that complicate things when they are just Canadians who so happens to spend a lot of time in the US (legal amount of time)?

So, I appreciate your opinion based on your experiences but I'm not asking what most people have expressed and to second guess where I want to live. I know what's best for me and I'm just asking for information based on my situation and hoping to get insight on people who did remain in the US and who were close with their families and how did they manage that.

Was this directed at me? My second post wasn't directed at you at all! It was directed at the other poster who is seemingly uptight about the words I chose to use in my first post.

By all means, do what s best for you! My post was just my two cents and only that. If your circumstances are better in the US and if your parents want to immigrate there's no reason why you shouldn't look into it further once you're done with your immigration process.

Edited April 26, 2014 by Erica & Lily

[Erica & L 52]

No, you didn't say "everyone", but you did say "most". In your second post, you said "many" which is a much more reasonable.

Why are you making it such a big deal? It's a word. Chill out and stop getting so bent out of shape over how I chose to word something because for some reason you seem really upset about it.

[belinda63 3,041]

They can come to visit for up to 6 months each year which will fit into their plans just fine. By the time they become elderly and need your assistance you will have become (if you desire) a US citizen and can spend as much time in Canada as you wish to assist them with their elderly needs. I would not recommend moving them to the US since all their benefits are in Canada....unless the healthcare situation in the US changes dramatically in the next 10 or more years.

If you decide to move them here later then you can worry about filing for residence for them. You will need to weigh the benefits and losses of them losing Canadian residency with the benefits of them gaining US residency. Too far in the future to really make an informed decision.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

You should probably question your parents later. My mom was a USC and we her children took off to the far corners of the US. she could have lived with any of US later in life but she preferred to stay put with her life long friends. ust meant that she traveled to visit us or we to see her. Ultimately that was the correct choice as her friends were very important to her

[Lights 56]

Was this directed at me? My second post wasn't directed at you at all! It was directed at the other poster who is seemingly uptight about the words I chose to use in my first post.

By all means, do what s best for you! My post was just my two cents and only that. If your circumstances are better in the US and if your parents want to immigrate there's no reason why you shouldn't look into it further once you're done with your immigration process.

It was more to put the thread back on topic. As you said in your original post, you're not very close with your parents and I am extremely close with mine. Our experiences are different and I'm not asking about whether I want to stay in the US as my long term goal or if I thought that through. That wasn't the question or the focus of my topic.

I will admit, your first response could have been taken wrongly not just by me but by other posters as well. You were just wanting to give your two cents, and as I said I appreciate that. But your assumption that most people who move to the US are only doing it temporarily and will eventually go back in Canada is not factual. And the way you said it was a bit condescending like "are you sure you want to stay in the US? You must've not thought that through because Canada is much better and has more options." There are posters here who have made huge sacrifices to leave Canada and live in the US with it not being a short term idea. So, I can see why it wasn't taken the right way when what you meant was to just give your side of the opinion.

They can come to visit for up to 6 months each year which will fit into their plans just fine. By the time they become elderly and need your assistance you will have become (if you desire) a US citizen and can spend as much time in Canada as you wish to assist them with their elderly needs. I would not recommend moving them to the US since all their benefits are in Canada....unless the healthcare situation in the US changes dramatically in the next 10 or more years.

If you decide to move them here later then you can worry about filing for residence for them. You will need to weigh the benefits and losses of them losing Canadian residency with the benefits of them gaining US residency. Too far in the future to really make an informed decision.

Thanks! That's exactly what I'm thinking... it is far from now, but these last handful of years have gone by so fast that I'm afraid it's not sitting on my radar when it should be.

Perhaps it's a cultural thing but my parents moved my grandparents into our home and were their sole caregivers until they passed. When that time comes, I want them to be taken care of and not just visits. But it worries me about the health benefits should they need more care like my grandmother.

You should probably question your parents later. My mom was a USC and we her children took off to the far corners of the US. she could have lived with any of US later in life but she preferred to stay put with her life long friends. ust meant that she traveled to visit us or we to see her. Ultimately that was the correct choice as her friends were very important to her

Thank you. I will definitely question them as time goes on to see if things change. As mentioned in my other reply, I also think it's a very cultural thing. My parents have friends but if they had a choice to have time with their friends of time with their kids, they would chose to be close to us. A lot of my parents friends are our family members.

[Erica & L 52]

It was more to put the thread back on topic. As you said in your original post, you're not very close with your parents and I am extremely close with mine. Our experiences are different and I'm not asking about whether I want to stay in the US as my long term goal or if I thought that through. That wasn't the question or the focus of my topic.

I will admit, your first response could have been taken wrongly not just by me but by other posters as well. You were just wanting to give your two cents, and as I said I appreciate that. But your assumption that most people who move to the US are only doing it temporarily and will eventually go back in Canada is not factual. And the way you said it was a bit condescending like "are you sure you want to stay in the US? You must've not thought that through because Canada is much better and has more options." There are posters here who have made huge sacrifices to leave Canada and live in the US with it not being a short term idea. So, I can see why it wasn't taken the right way when what you meant was to just give your side of the opinion.

I really didn't mean to come off as condescending at all, that was not my intention. I apologize if it seemed that way.

I just asked a lady (US born citizen) I know through my mother-in-law who's husband (Canadian born citizen) sponsored his parents to move to the US (Louisiana) and she told me that because of the distance away from the border, they chose that as the more appropriate option as his job did not delegate times to go up to Canada for 6 month periods and his mother is very agoraphobic and refused to leave her house most days.

They said the downfall was that his parents weren't in a happy marriage but because they sold their home (that was basically in shambles) and had joint assets together and due to their age, they didn't have anyway to support themselves during the process if they separated and going through a divorce while adjusting status would have made things more complicated.

That the process took a lot out on his mother's condition and her and her husband's marriage.

That at one point her marriage was rocky because of all the stress to do with his parents (who apparently aren't the easiest to get along with at the best of times)

I'd have to ask her about the pension situation, I totally spaced but I'm sure that's available on the CRA somewhere?

She said overall that if they were closer to the Canadian border, they would have just visited as opposed to going through the process. His parents also changed their minds several times throughout the process as they come from a small town in Manitoba in which they had never left before. Ultimately everything worked out but her husband feels like he "tried to fix something that wasn't broken by bringing them down here and made it worse."

It just comes down to preferences, situations and circumstances, which are different for everybody. Hope that was a little more helpful. Good luck OP.

[Lights 56]

I really didn't mean to come off as condescending at all, that was not my intention. I apologize if it seemed that way.

I just asked a lady (US born citizen) I know through my mother-in-law who's husband (Canadian born citizen) sponsored his parents to move to the US (Louisiana) and she told me that because of the distance away from the border, they chose that as the more appropriate option as his job did not delegate times to go up to Canada for 6 month periods and his mother is very agoraphobic and refused to leave her house most days.

They said the downfall was that his parents weren't in a happy marriage but because they sold their home (that was basically in shambles) and had joint assets together and due to their age, they didn't have anyway to support themselves during the process if they separated and going through a divorce while adjusting status would have made things more complicated.

That the process took a lot out on his mother's condition and her and her husband's marriage.

That at one point her marriage was rocky because of all the stress to do with his parents (who apparently aren't the easiest to get along with at the best of times)

I'd have to ask her about the pension situation, I totally spaced but I'm sure that's available on the CRA somewhere?

She said overall that if they were closer to the Canadian border, they would have just visited as opposed to going through the process. His parents also changed their minds several times throughout the process as they come from a small town in Manitoba in which they had never left before. Ultimately everything worked out but her husband feels like he "tried to fix something that wasn't broken by bringing them down here and made it worse."

It just comes down to preferences, situations and circumstances, which are different for everybody. Hope that was a little more helpful. Good luck OP.

Thanks for this! It was helpful. I completely agree that if we were closer to the border and not a 3 hour plane ride away, that we would likely just go back and forth. It would be similar to driving from LA to San Diego without the border stop. But we don't live close to the border and it would mean that the only way of traveling (in a decent amount of time and not driving for over 24 hours) would be by plane. This will be fine when my parents are younger, but when they start to age and mobility becomes more challenging, I am wondering what my other options are.

The difference between my parents is that their marriage is amazing and there's nothing to be fixed. We just want them around. My mom and I spend a lot of time together and as cheesy as it sounds, she is my best friend. My parents are hilarious together and I can only try and be as solid as they are as my fiance and I enter marriage. His parents are very similar and oddly, his parents and my parents have become friends. Both visiting each other in California and Vancouver (I know, talk about modern family where not only we get along with each of our in-laws but our in-laws have become very good friends). My niece has also started calling my parents her bonus grandparents... so I guess in a way, it's more of a want for them to be close. But eventually a need when the time comes for me to take care of them. My fiance's family email, facebook, and whatsapp my parents all the time to tell them what's been happening in their lives. It just would be nice if they could be around way more when they retire.

In a perfect world (wishful thinking), my parents could spend 99% of their time with us but not give up all they've worked for in the last 35+ years when it comes to their retirement savings, pension and health care.

[Flames9_RN 358]

Canadians living abroad are still entitled to Canada Old age pension as long as they meet the criteria. I believe th eonly big ticket item they would lose is Cdn health care..which can be a huge, as we tends to need it more as we get older