Time Spent Apart

[LesleyRyan 4]

Your first sentence is outdated information. Believe me, we thought it was bizarre that we didn't need a copy of my Colombian husband's birth certificate or passport at the USCIS stage, and read the requirements a hundred times to make sure that was indeed the case. We were approved with no RFEs very recently. If you go to the VJ guide I linked to, #7 has a strike through with "no longer needed" in parentheses. Things change. Read the official USCIS instructions and you won't see anything about a copy of the beneficiary's passport or birth certificate there either. http://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/files/files/form/i-130instr.pdf

If she's waiting for a name change to go through, I guess that's a different story. But if not, I see no reason she has to wait to send the petition.

Thank you for this info. I kept my last name.. it's pretty unique and his is soooo common ... plus how do I change my name anyways? just order new documents and put my new last name on?

[Abby&Mario 100]

Thank you for this info. I kept my last name.. it's pretty unique and his is soooo common ... plus how do I change my name anyways? just order new documents and put my new last name on?

Lol, I am not the one to ask about name changes! It honestly never occurred to me to change my name. Seems like an outdated tradition, and women in Latin America don't do it so my husband could care less. The secondary reason would be that it seems like a huge pain in the butt!

It would never occur to me to ask a woman why she decided to change her name after marriage (it's none of my business/to each his own), but I was surprised at how many women my age asked me why I didn't! What year is this again?

[LesleyRyan 4]

I feel for you regardless - I can't imagine being away for such a long period and certainly not without a good means of communication. People can of course fall on hard times and everything rights itself. My now husband and I called eachother nightly and were on the phone from about 6 pm until 1 of us fell asleep..EVERY SINGLE NIGHT and we still tried to visit as often as possible between Ontario and Virginia

I love the old fashioned letter writing idea!

My hubby lives in Virginia too

I don't mind the snail mail.. I love it actaully, we send cards and postcards.. but as the only means of communication... it sucks.

[PD is Current. 50]

Just enjoy the "single" time while you can!!!!!

[LesleyRyan 4]

Lol, I am not the one to ask about name changes! It honestly never occurred to me to change my name. Seems like an outdated tradition, and women in Latin America don't do it so my husband could care less. The secondary reason would be that it seems like a huge pain in the butt!

It would never occur to me to ask a woman why she decided to change her name after marriage (it's none of my business/to each his own), but I was surprised at how many women my age asked me why I didn't! What year is this again?

It never really occured to me either..

People are so confused that my name is still the same, but I have this wedding band on. I was happy to read this post.. that I'm not the crazy one for leaving my name the way it is.. I'm progressive Progessive and lazy.

[LesleyRyan 4]

LesleyRyan,

So from what I gather you are the Canadian beneficiary and your spouse is the American petitioner. Who told you to wait for your new passport before sending the I-130? Look here and you won't see anything about that being a requirement: http://www.visajourney.com/content/i130guide1

(A tip as well: Always try to verify what you see here on the USCIS/NVC web site if possible just in case.)

I just got my I-130 petition approved. I included a copy of the bio page of my husband's expired passport and the page that had entry stamps to the U.S. from when he visited me as evidence of a bonafide marriage. Other than that, we didn't send a copy of any I.D. for him because it's not a requirement at this stage. Is something different for Canadians in this regard? I'm not sure why you'd have to wait for your new passport to come in to send off your I-130.

Have I quoted this posted and thanked you yet?? I re-read my documents fixed things up, think they are good now.. ran to the bank and got a money order, have lots of supporting evidence.. and I'm going to UPS the documents to my husband to sign tomorrow!!! We were going to wait until I was there in JUNE.. but I'm so anxious.. I must have had old documents, (we started this process last July, but we ran into marriage problems and scratch the immigration for the time being.. can you say kicking yourself?)

I have:

- his passport photocopied

- his Birth cert.

-his divorce papers

-our marriage license

- supporting evidence

-two G-325A's

- passport style photos of us bith

- I-130

- money order $420

Crossing my fingers I filled it all in right this time

[Abby&Mario 100]

Have I quoted this posted and thanked you yet?? I re-read my documents fixed things up, think they are good now.. ran to the bank and got a money order, have lots of supporting evidence.. and I'm going to UPS the documents to my husband to sign tomorrow!!! We were going to wait until I was there in JUNE.. but I'm so anxious.. I must have had old documents, (we started this process last July, but we ran into marriage problems and scratch the immigration for the time being.. can you say kicking yourself?)

I have:

- his passport photocopied

- his Birth cert.

-his divorce papers

-our marriage license

- supporting evidence

-two G-325A's

- passport style photos of us bith

- I-130

- money order $420

Crossing my fingers I filled it all in right this time

The requirements for the petitioner are a photocopy of every page of his passport OR a copy of his birth certificate. VJ recommends a copy of both the front and back of the birth certificate if you go that route. Seemed dumb to me, but the back of mine did have two county seal watermarks so I included it. Make sure his divorce papers are complete; I think people have gotten RFEs when they sent just the pages that seem important, like just a signature page or something like that. Be sure he signs/dates the cover letter and that both of you sign/date any pages attached to any forms (like if not all your addresses fit on the G-325A). Good luck!

[LesleyRyan 4]

The requirements for the petitioner are a photocopy of every page of his passport OR a copy of his birth certificate. VJ recommends a copy of both the front and back of the birth certificate if you go that route. Seemed dumb to me, but the back of mine did have two county seal watermarks so I included it. Make sure his divorce papers are complete; I think people have gotten RFEs when they sent just the pages that seem important, like just a signature page or something like that. Be sure he signs/dates the cover letter and that both of you sign/date any pages attached to any forms (like if not all your addresses fit on the G-325A). Good luck!

Woah.. every page of the passport?! I sent ALL the divorce papers. I just noticed they want front and back of the birth certificate. Thanks for pointing that out.

I have to make sticky notes in the places he needs to sign.. another down fall of not being together making these documents..

I just made a cover letter tonight.. mainly to say what was in the package.. I didnt really do a write up.. just that "I am petitioning form I-130 for my Canadian spouse."

[LesleyRyan 4]

You want to find some way to maintain your relationship over the months - I also recommend finding a good routine you can do together - phone calls or Skype dates every week for example. For now as he has no computer or phone, how about writing letters or even postcards to each other each week?

We were apart for the whole first 16 months of our marriage because of the backlogs back in 2007/8 and it was very hard. Here are the things I wish I could go back and tell my 2007 self...

1. Stop comparing yourself to friends and family. Yes, it's not the usual path to take and you feel a bit different from your other married friends but it's going to be a distant memory one day and you'll be able to have the daily rows about the washing up and sock on the floor like the rest of them.

2. Save money. Save money. Save money. Get a second job or second form of income. Sell all your old stuff you don't want to take with you. Create the biggest nest egg you can to take with you. There are so many expenses associated with moving to a new place, it's a buffer if you don't get a job asap, and even if you don't need it for those things you can use it to take some trips and travel around the US with your new spouse and get to know your new home.

3. Declutter and sort through your stuff. Reduce to only the stuff you really want to take with you. Get rid of or preferably sell the things you don't need to take. This will save you both the financial effort but also the emotional effort of moving or storing your belongings.

4. Take advantage of all the things in your home country before you leave it, and tie up all loose ends. Great health benefits? Have all your medical needs, yearly physical, well woman tests, dental appointments etc taken care of while you can. Perform some housekeeping on all aspects of your life there. Double check all bank accounts, savings accounts, portfolios etc. Check everything is in the right name if you changed your married name. Close any accounts which are not really useful to you once you move (although it's nice to keep one open for future travel etc). Make copies or order copies of all essential documents - get really organised with binders to keep this stuff together. Consider leaving a copy of everything with someone you trust at home. (I left a binder like this with my parents)

5. Research your future home - make a list of all the things you want to accomplish in your first year there and then work out what you need to know etc to make those things happen. How to get your driver's licence, maps of the area, recommendations for doctors, dentists, hair salons, the job market etc.

6. Say long lovely goodbyes to friends and family - make sure you have everyone's contact details and you discuss good ways to stay in touch.

7. And did I mention saving money?

This is such great advice. Comparing my situation to others is something I TRY not to do.. it's hard at times.. when my roommate and her boyfriend are making supper together...or hanging out Saturday morning.. I've always been a saver, so I am finding great enjoyment in slowly selling my junk and home stuff I don't really need (sofa, cabinets, huge wall art..etc). At my work we have an electronic bulletin board.. I've been selling so many things at work.. it's crazy. My clothing is the next thing I have to tackle.. I have to say, the more things I get rid of.. the closer I feel to moving and starting my life with my husband. It's freeing in a way, to not be tied down to stuff.

Number 4 is good advice too.. I have been going through some health issues and am very glad to be in Canada at the moment! I also have a health plan so I have been getting all my 'scriptions filled.

When I get back from my vacation to see my husband I'm thinking of maybe getting two jobs to keep me busy. .. people have been suggesting courses or school.. but I've just finished my degree.. and any art classes I want to take will cost a lot of money.. money that I'd rather save for moving. Although I might break down during the long winter months and take a metal smithing course!