Registering for Gifts...

[Jenn! 918]

We don't want anyone to bring gifts. How can we politely put this in the invitation? Has anyone done this before?

"Although a wedding invitation implies a gift in return, it is considered poor etiquette to mention the names of stores where you are registered on the wedding invitation. Instead, allow your friends to ask you or pass this information along to parents, the bridal party or grandparents who will be happy to inform your guests. Many couples also list their registry information on their wedding website, which is perfectly acceptable. If you do not wish to receive wedding gifts, it is not proper etiquette to print "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. Again, this information should be shared with close friends and family members who will then communicate your wish to your guests. Many couples who do not wish to receive gifts, which is often the case with second-time bride or groom, will provide the name of a charity organization to which wedding guests can contribute in lieu of buying a wedding gift for the couple. "

http://www.beau-coup.com/wedding-invitations-etiquette.htm

[Mary Lou 681]

I know when i got married the first time back in 1985 i did register for bridal shower gifts.I was 20yrs old and still living at home at the time of my marriage. That being said i guess its the norm for where i live *shrugs* Any invite ive received has a slip of paper inside the invite as to where the person is registered. I dont find it tacky or rude as far as a bridal shower goes IMO What i do find extremely tacky is when you receive a wedding invite that says cash gifts only to help pay for our honeymoon #######?!?!?!?!?

what's the diff in picking out stuff, or asking for cash?

Like i said including where you are registered is the "norm" where i live. Using a register isnt telling people they have to go there to buy you something, but they do have the option of using it or not. I for one wouldnt ask for cash. In fact for my current marriage i never registered or expected anything.

I wasn't bein snippy, I was just expanding my thought...like if a registry is ok, and a lot of ppl like the idea of getting summat the couple/person can use...then what about cash? Why or why not?

I'mma register for my next birthday

I wasnt being snippy either, just was adding what people do here is all. As far as cash, i always give cash for a wedding gift. But gift cards are popular here as well for showers.

[garya505 2]

We don't want anyone to bring gifts. How can we politely put this in the invitation? Has anyone done this before?

"Although a wedding invitation implies a gift in return, it is considered poor etiquette to mention the names of stores where you are registered on the wedding invitation. Instead, allow your friends to ask you or pass this information along to parents, the bridal party or grandparents who will be happy to inform your guests. Many couples also list their registry information on their wedding website, which is perfectly acceptable. If you do not wish to receive wedding gifts, it is not proper etiquette to print "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. Again, this information should be shared with close friends and family members who will then communicate your wish to your guests. Many couples who do not wish to receive gifts, which is often the case with second-time bride or groom, will provide the name of a charity organization to which wedding guests can contribute in lieu of buying a wedding gift for the couple. "

http://www.beau-coup.com/wedding-invitations-etiquette.htm

Hmmm, no we don't want gifts and we don't want them to donate to charity. Does anyone have any ideas on how to do that?

[Mags 112]

We don't want anyone to bring gifts. How can we politely put this in the invitation? Has anyone done this before?

"Although a wedding invitation implies a gift in return, it is considered poor etiquette to mention the names of stores where you are registered on the wedding invitation. Instead, allow your friends to ask you or pass this information along to parents, the bridal party or grandparents who will be happy to inform your guests. Many couples also list their registry information on their wedding website, which is perfectly acceptable. If you do not wish to receive wedding gifts, it is not proper etiquette to print "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. Again, this information should be shared with close friends and family members who will then communicate your wish to your guests. Many couples who do not wish to receive gifts, which is often the case with second-time bride or groom, will provide the name of a charity organization to which wedding guests can contribute in lieu of buying a wedding gift for the couple. "

http://www.beau-coup.com/wedding-invitations-etiquette.htm

Hmmm, no we don't want gifts and we don't want them to donate to charity. Does anyone have any ideas on how to do that?

Just making sure that you put "no gifts' on the card should be sufficient IMO. If you don't want any charitable donations made in your honour, then don't put any information on the card about donations.

Edited January 11, 2007 by mags

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

If someone makes a charitable donation in my name, who gets to write the donation off on their taxes?

[peezey 0]

I would say don't do it. Things like weddings and gifts and the such bring out everyone's previously missing Miss Manners. No matter if it seems logical to include it, it still makes it seem a gift is expected, rather than just their presence at your wedding.

[Fandango 1,439]

Hmmm, no we don't want gifts and we don't want them to donate to charity. Does anyone have any ideas on how to do that?

How about you make a faux registry card that says...we are registered NOWHERE! and the only gift we would love is for you to be there to share this momentous occassion

I wasnt being snippy either, just was adding what people do here is all. As far as cash, i always give cash for a wedding gift. But gift cards are popular here as well for showers.

Oh I didn't think you were I just didn't want my answer being misconstrued as sounding like I was bein a smart azz

I would say don't do it. Things like weddings and gifts and the such bring out everyone's previously missing Miss Manners. No matter if it seems logical to include it, it still makes it seem a gift is expected, rather than just their presence at your wedding.

totally agreed!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

No rules expert but would feel to say something about no gifts would be ok. I know i've heard this with 25 yr anniversary 50 yr anniversary gathering, just something like your attendance is the best gift of all

[Nessa 23]

I don't think it's rude. Rude is showing up without bringing any gift even when people tell you not to...

[Caladan 19]

Among my friends, it's been a 50/50 split between including the registry (on a slip of paper in the invitation) and not. I'm not offended by it, but it is a little tacky, and in the cases where it wasn't included, I just e-mailed the bride or groom saying 'do you have a registry?'

I probably won't include it and will put my sister on responding to registries duty.

[ChristinaM 0]

Perhaps a way round is to put a note that says "Registry information is available through the mother of the bride, however we feel that the gift of your presence is more than sufficient".

I'm probably not qualified to talk about this though - I would have loved to create a registry, but getting married on the fly meant no gifts from anyone with the exception of some cash from my husbands parents.

[KarenCee 3]

At the risk of being thought stupid yet again, I'll express my opinion. I think it's rude to include such information in a wedding invitation. It's like asking guests for gifts from a specific place when it (in my HUMBLE opinion) should be up to the guest what to get and where. I would feel bad if the registry were from a place I couldn't afford to buy from.

Again, this is just my opinion.

[Fandango 1,439]

At the risk of being thought stupid yet again, I'll express my opinion. I think it's rude to include such information in a wedding invitation. It's like asking guests for gifts from a specific place when it (in my HUMBLE opinion) should be up to the guest what to get and where. I would feel bad if the registry were from a place I couldn't afford to buy from.

Again, this is just my opinion.

Karen, no one's called you stupid!

[KarenCee 3]

Lisa...I'm not having the best of days today. Sorry.

[Fandango 1,439]

Lisa...I'm not having the best of days today. Sorry.