Registering for Gifts...

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't think it is tacky to say we are registered at such and such a place.... IMO

It would be tacky if they included a list of things they wanted in the invitation....

Do you still consider it tacky if there is a registry listed in a bridal shower invitation?

I dunno....kinda...but as I said before, I'm torn because I can understand the purpose behind it...but I would still rather call someone instead of just being told 'go here'

[Marilyn. 340]

I don't think it is tacky to say we are registered at such and such a place.... IMO

It would be tacky if they included a list of things they wanted in the invitation....

Do you still consider it tacky if there is a registry listed in a bridal shower invitation?

I dunno....kinda...but as I said before, I'm torn because I can understand the purpose behind it...but I would still rather call someone instead of just being told 'go here'

I take it you don't like being told what to do?

[Donna A 4]

i find it great. i dont have to spend all day shopping for something they dont want. then they gotta spend all day returning things. i think its good for both sides involved.

years ago my cousin wrote on her invitations what she wanted the person to get her which we thought was a little tacky...and to top it off she didnt get married and didnt return the gifts either.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Registries aren't all that common in Germany which is fine because we got a lot of cash instead of gifts. Most of the actual gifts were handmade props or games that ended in cash prizes. We didn't expect anyone to get us anything besides showing up. We were both so floored by the completely unexpected generosity we had the thank you cards and letters all mailed out within two days.

I would be annoyed if the registry was included because it creates the expectation and obligation of buying something in order to attend. I just think I should bring what I think you might like because I want to gift you out of the goodness of my heart and you be grateful enough to accept it gracefully even if it wasn't your thing and it was going on eBay the next day. Maybe that makes me a jerk in some people's books, but whatever.

[Jenn! 918]

Whether you find it tacky or not, I do think it's considered incorrect wedding etiquette to include where the registry is with the invitation. But I could be wrong about that, I'm no wedding planner.

For me, it was just easier to follow the etiquette rather than worrying about offending people. We all know that what you think is perfectly acceptable may not be seen that way by other people. I'd rather take an occasion other than my wedding to test the waters!

[chri'stina 190]

Of course it's not rude. Everyone does it these days. As a separate slip of paper in the same envelope, that is. Not actually on the invite.

Ditto

I don't think it is rude... why would it be rude??

Well imo...maybe 'rude' was the wrong word...maybe it is 'tacky' like Mags said. And for the same reason....like 'come to my wedding/shower/etc but buy me summat I want' IImo it detracts from 'come share our/my special day' to 'make sure you get me summat I like!' I think most people wouldn't dream of going to a celebration like that without bringing a gift, and I'd rather contact someone 'in-the-know' (I think jenn mentioned that) to find out where they are registered instead of having it so blatantly out there

I think people see it as, "well I'm going to buy a gift anyway, so at least I'll know what they need..". The problem with contacting someone in the know, is that they are usually someone who is also busy helping plan the whole thing and it could be hard if a big number of people keep having to contact them asking where someone is registered. It's just easier to get it with the invitation whether it be a baby shower, bridal shower, or wedding.

Now that I think of it, I don't think I put it in our wedding invitations, but that's because from all the families who were coming, someone in the fam had come to my bridal shower and already got the registry info from that invitation.

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't think it is tacky to say we are registered at such and such a place.... IMO

It would be tacky if they included a list of things they wanted in the invitation....

Do you still consider it tacky if there is a registry listed in a bridal shower invitation?

I dunno....kinda...but as I said before, I'm torn because I can understand the purpose behind it...but I would still rather call someone instead of just being told 'go here'

I take it you don't like being told what to do?

LOL!

Well, in planning things here, I don't think I'm going to be including a registry. If people want to call my mom, that's one thing...but the people I'm inviting to the wedding can either call my mom or get me whatever they want...because my main priority is just that they share this day with us, not cos of the gift they're bringing.

[Alex+R 0]

Oo Lisa I don't know your timeline. Are you getting married soooooon? How exciting, if so.

(Just curious, don't have to answer)

[Fandango 1,439]

Oo Lisa I don't know your timeline. Are you getting married soooooon? How exciting, if so.

(Just curious, don't have to answer)

lol, not soon...things have been complicated for us & we're just starting our journey....was just updating my site at theknot and wanted to pose the quezzie here.

[Mary Lou 681]

I know when i got married the first time back in 1985 i did register for bridal shower gifts.I was 20yrs old and still living at home at the time of my marriage. That being said i guess its the norm for where i live *shrugs* Any invite ive received has a slip of paper inside the invite as to where the person is registered. I dont find it tacky or rude as far as a bridal shower goes IMO What i do find extremely tacky is when you receive a wedding invite that says cash gifts only to help pay for our honeymoon #######?!?!?!?!?

[Yodrak 7]

LisaD,

My personal feeling is that it depends how the information is presented, how it's worded. Ms. Manners might feel differently.

Yodrak

I'm torn on this...I realize registries are a good thing so that the recipients don't get 10 zillion of the same thing...but I also find it rude when the info is given without having been asked for it.

You?

[Fandango 1,439]

I know when i got married the first time back in 1985 i did register for bridal shower gifts.I was 20yrs old and still living at home at the time of my marriage. That being said i guess its the norm for where i live *shrugs* Any invite ive received has a slip of paper inside the invite as to where the person is registered. I dont find it tacky or rude as far as a bridal shower goes IMO What i do find extremely tacky is when you receive a wedding invite that says cash gifts only to help pay for our honeymoon #######?!?!?!?!?

what's the diff in picking out stuff, or asking for cash?

[Mary Lou 681]

I know when i got married the first time back in 1985 i did register for bridal shower gifts.I was 20yrs old and still living at home at the time of my marriage. That being said i guess its the norm for where i live *shrugs* Any invite ive received has a slip of paper inside the invite as to where the person is registered. I dont find it tacky or rude as far as a bridal shower goes IMO What i do find extremely tacky is when you receive a wedding invite that says cash gifts only to help pay for our honeymoon #######?!?!?!?!?

what's the diff in picking out stuff, or asking for cash?

Like i said including where you are registered is the "norm" where i live. Using a register isnt telling people they have to go there to buy you something, but they do have the option of using it or not. I for one wouldnt ask for cash. In fact for my current marriage i never registered or expected anything.

[Fandango 1,439]

I know when i got married the first time back in 1985 i did register for bridal shower gifts.I was 20yrs old and still living at home at the time of my marriage. That being said i guess its the norm for where i live *shrugs* Any invite ive received has a slip of paper inside the invite as to where the person is registered. I dont find it tacky or rude as far as a bridal shower goes IMO What i do find extremely tacky is when you receive a wedding invite that says cash gifts only to help pay for our honeymoon #######?!?!?!?!?

what's the diff in picking out stuff, or asking for cash?

Like i said including where you are registered is the "norm" where i live. Using a register isnt telling people they have to go there to buy you something, but they do have the option of using it or not. I for one wouldnt ask for cash. In fact for my current marriage i never registered or expected anything.

I wasn't bein snippy, I was just expanding my thought...like if a registry is ok, and a lot of ppl like the idea of getting summat the couple/person can use...then what about cash? Why or why not?

I'mma register for my next birthday

[garya505 2]

We don't want anyone to bring gifts. How can we politely put this in the invitation? Has anyone done this before?