Registering for Gifts...

[Fandango 1,439]

I'm torn on this...I realize registries are a good thing so that the recipients don't get 10 zillion of the same thing...but I also find it rude when the info is given without having been asked for it.

You?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Of course it's not rude. Everyone does it these days. As a separate slip of paper in the same envelope, that is. Not actually on the invite.

[Jenn! 918]

I've heard that it is rude, even though I personally would find it helpful, not rude. I guess the protocol is to contact someone "in-the-know" to find out where the couple is registered. It seemed to work out fine for us - nothing mentioned on the invite, but most people did get us things off of our registry after investigating on their own.

[Fandango 1,439]

Of course it's not rude. Everyone does it these days. As a separate slip of paper in the same envelope, that is. Not actually on the invite.

I think even with the invite it's rude but I have actually seen it on the invite as well. And one time, I was invited to a showere where everything was over $100. And she was just a coworker, lol

[TracyTN 237]

Its more 'done' now than it was, but it gives me the willies.

That said, I'm not registering anyways. Its my second marriage and I have a house, so I already have all the towels and kitchen gadgets I need, thank you very much!

[Mags 112]

I find it a little tacky, not necessarily rude. Kind of like "come to my wedding but buy me a present".

What I DO find good though is when people don't require presents and include a slip of paper asking for donations to a cancer charity instead. This can be quite common in the UK, especially when the couple have been living together already and have most things that would ordinarily be on a wedding gift list.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I think even with the invite it's rude but I have actually seen it on the invite as well. And one time, I was invited to a showere where everything was over $100. And she was just a coworker, lol

That's just strange. Every registry I've ever had to pick from went as low as $10. I'm a big fan of the registry, people are busy and who has the time to figure out what the perfect gift is? Just tell me what ya freakin want!

Tracy,

You can start a registry at a place that doesn't sell kitchen gadgets and towels Seriously those are becoming quite common these days.

I find it a little tacky, not necessarily rude. Kind of like "come to my wedding but buy me a present".

What I DO find good though is when people don't require presents and include a slip of paper asking for donations to a cancer charity instead. This can be quite common in the UK, especially when the couple have been living together already and have most things that would ordinarily be on a wedding gift list.

That is very nice.

I'll share one 'trend' I really don't like. I see it a lot these days from Indian couples getting married in the US. I never see it in India. Anyway, they send an invite which says "no boxed gifts" please". Then when you get there, there is a big box with an envelope-sized slit through which you can pass your gift of cash

[raymaga 25]

I think you can always ask the bride's mother or groom's mother (or any other family member or maid of honor, etc.) if the couple is registered anywhere.

I LOVE it when couples are registered somewhere so that I know I am getting them a gift they can use and want, but I don't like the idea of including it with the invitation.

I will make it my responsibility to find out if the couple is registered somewhere.

[TracyTN 237]

Tracy,

You can start a registry at a place that doesn't sell kitchen gadgets and towels Seriously those are becoming quite common these days.

Yeah, I know. I just can't think of anything that we'd really need a lot of - enough to go to the trouble of registering for it. I mean, I'd always take a Lowe's or Home Depot gift card, because you never know what can come up.

I guess I just feel a little weird about asking for gifts for a second wedding. I know its done a lot, but its a personal thing. I'd rather have my friends and family share our day with us moreso than finding gifts for them to give me.

[Marilyn. 340]

I don't think it is rude... why would it be rude??

[payxibka 10,045]

Yeah, I know. I just can't think of anything that we'd really need a lot of - enough to go to the trouble of registering for it. I mean, I'd always take a Lowe's or Home Depot gift card, because you never know what can come up.

[Fandango 1,439]

I don't think it is rude... why would it be rude??

Well imo...maybe 'rude' was the wrong word...maybe it is 'tacky' like Mags said. And for the same reason....like 'come to my wedding/shower/etc but buy me summat I want' IImo it detracts from 'come share our/my special day' to 'make sure you get me summat I like!' I think most people wouldn't dream of going to a celebration like that without bringing a gift, and I'd rather contact someone 'in-the-know' (I think jenn mentioned that) to find out where they are registered instead of having it so blatantly out there

Edited January 10, 2007 by LisaD

[payxibka 10,045]

Well imo...maybe 'rude' was the wrong word...maybe it is 'tacky' like Mags said. And for the same reason....like 'come to my wedding/shower/etc but buy me summat I want' IImo it detracts from 'come share our/my special day' to 'make sure you get me summat I like!' I think most people wouldn't dream of going to a celebration like that without bringing a gift, and I'd rather contact someone 'in-the-know' (I think jenn mentioned that) to find out where they are registered instead of having it so blatantly out there

LisaD,

Why are you now finally worried about being tacky?

[ELW 5]

I don't think it is tacky or rude! I think it is HELPFUL! I have given through a registry before, for my brother's wedding - it was so convenient! And there is no order to give - just on the invite so if someone wants to, they can pick out what is really needed.

[Marilyn. 340]

I don't think it is tacky to say we are registered at such and such a place.... IMO

It would be tacky if they included a list of things they wanted in the invitation....

Do you still consider it tacky if there is a registry listed in a bridal shower invitation?