If you enjoy drama please read this

[Robert&Karen 264]

I mwnrtiond the adult child to differentiate from the 2 she has here. Total of girls, 2 of them have died. Hard on anyone.

I want the life we had when we met!

[Justine+David 218]

From what I do understand the OP deeply cares about his wife. I don't support her actions and reactions at all but come on guys really??? Call USCIS, tell them where she is and her arrest record, and hopefully they'll show up and take her??? That's a straight cold comment in my eyes!

She has been arrested for assault multiple times and has abused her children to the point that Child Protective Services has had to take them away. This is not the type of person that should be living in America on a green card.

Please know that I am a registered nurse and I recognize that she has deep psychological problems that need to be addressed. There are better mental health programs (not to mention free) in the United Kingdom and maybe being deported will kick her hard enough in the pants to get help.

Seriously though, OP, if her green card is expired, you need to call USCIS and let them know about the situation. I honestly think it's best for all involved. I can't imagine what it must be like for those kids to a) move to another country b) be abused by their mother c) placed in foster care in an entirely different culture. That is so messed up and I really fear for them. At least if they went back to the UK they could be among their home culture.

ETA: OP, I know you do. But is anything really going to change? Time to take charge instead of wishing for yesterday...

Edited April 23, 2014 by Justine+David

[christeen 966]

Wanting something that has passed and to go back to how things used to be is a recipe for unhappiness as we all know, you can't go back... Too much as happened...

[AnotherLostSoul 167]

I'm sorry, I know this is pretty unprofessional and not needed as a "reply" but: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best case Universal pictures hires a great screenwriter and top notch actress and you get a great consultation gig to make sure all the events are portrayed accurately... Wort case... It ends up as a Netflix only drama series available online only with no royalty rights...

[KayDeeCee 4,893]

~ Moved frm ROC to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits - thread seems to fits best in this forum ~

[PallasAthena 101]

Please go to counseling. Both of you can go together if you want a shot at beginning to repair your relationship. Whether it's here or in the UK, please seek counseling.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[eieio 1,594]

Robert,

I think you have seen the worst...well almost....next she will have an affair......but after that things will change for the better. Then you will be able to have a happy marriage. She sounds normal,but just needs to get some life experience in. Give her time,forgive her and always praise her...no matter what she does.

Eventually your love will grow back to where it was when you met.

Never give up.

[Boiler 45,522]

Robert,

I think you have seen the worst...well almost....next she will have an affair......but after that things will change for the better. Then you will be able to have a happy marriage. She sounds normal,but just needs to get some life experience in. Give her time,forgive her and always praise her...no matter what she does.

Eventually your love will grow back to where it was when you met.

Never give up.

Weird

[Jawaree 717]

OP U love your wife and she has problems, so

since U R working at it , spiritual counseling,

treatment program where she stays in & family

counseling with all of U would be a nice try.

The fact U all had a nice life B4, her kid died

and she witness a murder can be factors here.She

may even qualify for a "U" visa if she witnesses

and helped the police, have U tried contacting

your local Senators office to weigh your options

after all U do love her still.

[Robert&Karen 264]

Justine she never abused the kids. They were taken after a car accident because as a stepfather I have NO RIGHTS they say and there was no where else for the kids to go. Then in court they brought up FIVE CONVICTIONS from another person with the same name, and said it was here and used that for reason to keep the kids. The convictions were even before she was in this country.

[rlogan 2,036]

M+17 Totals her car, kids taken by CPS. Arrested for child abuse, assaulting two cops, and DUI.

.

M+27 Another court date on the M+17 issue. Another delay. Several actually.

M+30 Brings us up to today. Kids with CPS. Green cards expired. Issues with child custody. Issues with arrests.

....to be continued. How do you see this going, best and worst case scanarios?

It is not clear what kind of convictions she has but assaulting one cop is a felony, I imagine. Looks like we get to double up on that felony. Multiple DUI's will get you into felony territory too. It sounds like something happened in terms of sentencing on the child abuse but I imagine that is a misdemeanor.

Best case scenario is that the governor issues her a pardon, like that would ever happen! Expected case is she's turned down for removal of conditions due to criminal record. Worse case is a lot worse than that, who knows. Bad, bad, bad.

[Morningmist 76]

Best case Universal pictures hires a great screenwriter and top notch actress and you get a great consultation gig to make sure all the events are portrayed accurately... Wort case... It ends up as a Netflix only drama series available online only with no royalty rights...

Seriously, what do you want someone to say? It sounds like a train wreck and having demonstrated sobriety and adherence to requirement for a mere 4 months out of 30 it seems that there is a long way to go.

Comeon, netflix has really good original dramas!

Seems more lifetime movie than Universal though....

[Gabiru 2]

Hi there...sorry for the tough love answer I am about to give you: If you REALLY love this woman with all your heart, and she IS REALLY commited with the AA thing you should keep fighting for her and her sobriety. like you said, life is great when she doesnt drink, right ...other than that just let her go now...I am a child of alcoholic...your life will surround around crazy events, while you keep her around.

[BokkieandGuapo 4]

Hey all remember me? The drama king? Hey I should change my name here maybe. Maybe one of you experts can share with me what to expect next in the below scenario:

M+00 Got married.

M+05 Six months later she is charged with assault. Found not guilty (no evidence). Arrest is public record.

M+14 Adult child dies, she gets depressed.

M+17 Totals her car, kids taken by CPS. Arrested for child abuse, assaulting two cops, and DUI.

M+19 Ordered by court to go to AA/NA counseling. Kids remain with CPS. Visitation given.

M+20 Witnessed a murder.

M+21 Arrested for public intoxication.

M+21 Arrested for public intoxication again.

M+23 Time to file for removal of conditions. She ignores the paperwork I printed out for her, already filled in.

M+25 Back to court for the kids. She has failed to attent a single class. Kids not returned.

M+26 She now vigorously attends the classes. And stops drinking. Like is VERY GOOD with her sober.

M+27 Another court date on the M+17 issue. Another delay. Several actually.

M+30 Brings us up to today. Kids with CPS. Green cards expired. Issues with child custody. Issues with arrests.

....to be continued. How do you see this going, best and worst case scanarios?

Drop this one like a hot potato. I am serious. You're looking at more drama down the road considering what has already happened, sober or not. I realize many people deserve second chances, and if you're willing to give her one, you are a bigger person than me. If you choose the latter, keep your eyes very wide open and if more signs of drinking/kids still not returned/etc., you know what to do. And i wouldn't wait years and years of this kind of miserable before making that decision.

It's obvious she needs therapy - losing her adult child alone is bad enough and calls for help, but the drinking and other things clearly need to be addressed.

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

[Robert&Karen 264]

We're handing this one issue at a time. Some of it may be a showstopper but I'm not going to fold this hand yet. I see the issues as (1) Kids; (2) Criminal, (3) Immigration. The kids bit we will know about it a week or so. The Criminal, well since it has been over a year and they have yet to even have an evidence hearing, the entire affair can take 2-3 years. The Immigration side can raise its head at any moment. We got "served" some legal papers the other day and thought it was about immigration, but turns out it was simply our copy regarding another legal matter we already knew about. I'm not the one freaking out when there i a knock at the door - she is. That's no way to live!

Yes, she is getting counseling and other help. Some of it is very insightful and useful, other bits are typical government stupidity. Overall I think there is something to learn from it all.

Something tells me that when the dust settles my case may be of value here to others regarding a process no one really wants to know about.