emotional baggage of the visa journey...

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Perhaps some people have smooth rides once their SOs arrive, but I know in our case, our relationship has been tested time and time again since my husband has gotten here. For some people, the adjustment is hard. And even if it isn't terribly difficult, there are still things that some may want to talk about.

[doodlebug 3]

He did his interview for the K3. You think Cairo takes forever for K3 or K1...try a CR1. Yeah no thanks. We're sticking to the fastest way out of Cairo. Hahaha....Cairo and fast shouldn't be put in the same sentence.

Ok so I'm confused again....say our I129 AND our I130 are approved at the same week or so, well before the interview. Why would one take longer to process than the other? I thought I remembered reading that people would totally chuck the K-3 out the window if the I130 was approved before the interview?

[jordanianprincess 0]

Well not everyone is the same. I have been waiting a very long time, 14 months and counting and it doesnt bother me that Jean is posting about Mohammed being here. I have had similar thoughts myself anticipating his arrival. I have wondered many times if I will just be able to pick up where I left off or if things will be the same. I have wondered how I will manage my current schedule and how he will manage being here.

I don't think Jean is being insensitive to others by her posts. You can clearly see that this thread was started by Jean so don't read it if it bothers you. If I compared my case and situation to everyone else's I'd go mad.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Perhaps some people have smooth rides once their SOs arrive, but I know in our case, our relationship has been tested time and time again since my husband has gotten here. For some people, the adjustment is hard. And even if it isn't terribly difficult, there are still things that some may want to talk about.

That makes sense Rahma and I agree completely with you. However if you have been reading Jean's posts/threads you will see that that isn't really what she is talking about in some of them.

I think it's normal for everyone to go through a few bumps along the way but I don't think there's a need to complain on such a regular basis when someone's SO is here. There are still plenty who are waiting.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

I do read all of Jean's posts and I find nothing wrong with them. I empathize.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I do read all of Jean's posts and I find nothing wrong with them. I empathize.

It's ok if we disagree.

I am not the only one who said it was insensitive.

[LaL 418]

i just have to say, the real work begins after your SO enters the country. Visa stuff is just nasty paperwork in the way of reaching your ultimate goal.

I also had a similar reaction as rebecca - i had to re-adjust to being a partner vs. head of household. we are still adjusting more than a year later.

[ya falaha! 0]

Our 130 was approved first but I still went for the K3. The K3 moves faster through NVC. The CR1 stays at the NVC for months before it moves to Cairo. The benefit is that your husband would come in on a conditional GC but the wait IMO is not worth it. It is for some but not for me.

He did his interview for the K3. You think Cairo takes forever for K3 or K1...try a CR1. Yeah no thanks. We're sticking to the fastest way out of Cairo. Hahaha....Cairo and fast shouldn't be put in the same sentence.

Ok so I'm confused again....say our I129 AND our I130 are approved at the same week or so, well before the interview. Why would one take longer to process than the other? I thought I remembered reading that people would totally chuck the K-3 out the window if the I130 was approved before the interview?

[Bosco 1]

I read Moody's post and then I re-read it after seeing the replies. The way I read it, her ONLY objection was to still talking about the separation once someone's husband is here. I did not read it to mean she was talking about the other struggles newly married couples face when reunited but specifically continued discussion about the separation evenm though the couple is reunited.

Moody has at times drawn upon experiences in her first marriage to share in discussions regarding adjustment issues, so I don't think she has any issue with this. I have appreciated her insight in these discussions. I think think a very specific thing (talking about the separation) is being lumped into a larger issue (adjustment overall) and that was not what she meant.

I also had a similar reaction as rebecca - i had to re-adjust to being a partner vs. head of household. we are still adjusting more than a year later.

I am glad I am not the only one I was starting to feel abnormal

[jordanianprincess 0]

I read Moody's post and then I re-read it after seeing the replies. The way I read it, her ONLY objection was to still talking about the separation once someone's husband is here. I did not read it to mean she was talking about the other struggles newly married couples face when reunited but specifically continued discussion about the separation evenm though the couple is reunited.

Moody has at times drawn upon experiences in her first marriage to share in discussions regarding adjustment issues, so I don't think she has any issue with this. I have appreciated her insight in these discussions. I think think a very specific thing (talking about the separation) is being lumped into a larger issue (adjustment overall) and that was not what she meant.

Everyone has their sensitive times, I have been seperated for 14 months from my fiance so I can understand how Moody feels as well as how Jean feels. The point is that Moody's post makes seem sound like she is ungrateful and she clearly is not. Jean has always used VJ as way to vent and talk about her feelings, I think most of us have come to terms with that after a few bumpy rides. If Jean's post bugs someone then they should not read them.

I don't think Jean's posts or anyone elses post are going to make this process any easier for those of us that are waiting. I don't think it's insensitive either for her to post about it either. Seperation is hard and no matter what you do it only gets harder, not easier.

[ya falaha! 0]

Thanks, Bosco...yes that is what I was talking about. I wasn't talking about the adjustment once the SO gets here. I know how difficult that can be.

I read Moody's post and then I re-read it after seeing the replies. The way I read it, her ONLY objection was to still talking about the separation once someone's husband is here. I did not read it to mean she was talking about the other struggles newly married couples face when reunited but specifically continued discussion about the separation evenm though the couple is reunited.

Moody has at times drawn upon experiences in her first marriage to share in discussions regarding adjustment issues, so I don't think she has any issue with this. I have appreciated her insight in these discussions. I think think a very specific thing (talking about the separation) is being lumped into a larger issue (adjustment overall) and that was not what she meant.

I also had a similar reaction as rebecca - i had to re-adjust to being a partner vs. head of household. we are still adjusting more than a year later.

I am glad I am not the only one I was starting to feel abnormal

[sarah and hicham 3]

I read Moody's post and then I re-read it after seeing the replies. The way I read it, her ONLY objection was to still talking about the separation once someone's husband is here. I did not read it to mean she was talking about the other struggles newly married couples face when reunited but specifically continued discussion about the separation evenm though the couple is reunited.

Moody has at times drawn upon experiences in her first marriage to share in discussions regarding adjustment issues, so I don't think she has any issue with this. I have appreciated her insight in these discussions. I think think a very specific thing (talking about the separation) is being lumped into a larger issue (adjustment overall) and that was not what she meant.

I also had a similar reaction as rebecca - i had to re-adjust to being a partner vs. head of household. we are still adjusting more than a year later.

I am glad I am not the only one I was starting to feel abnormal

That's it exactly... I didn't mean that the adjustment is easy and that she isn't allowed to talk about it. You hit the nail on the head.

[ya falaha! 0]

JP...I don't think Jean is ungrateful at all. Quite the contrary she's probably over the moon about her Mohammed being here. I just have noticed that she hasn't given herself a break with the stressing which makes her appear to be complaining to just complain. I'm not saying that's what she's doing but honestly that's what it seems like. I understand she must be having residual affects from this process. I understand she had an extremely difficult and long wait. Adjustment from living a single life to being married is hard enough without immigration thrown in. I get that and understand.

I read Moody's post and then I re-read it after seeing the replies. The way I read it, her ONLY objection was to still talking about the separation once someone's husband is here. I did not read it to mean she was talking about the other struggles newly married couples face when reunited but specifically continued discussion about the separation evenm though the couple is reunited.

Moody has at times drawn upon experiences in her first marriage to share in discussions regarding adjustment issues, so I don't think she has any issue with this. I have appreciated her insight in these discussions. I think think a very specific thing (talking about the separation) is being lumped into a larger issue (adjustment overall) and that was not what she meant.

Everyone has their sensitive times, I have been seperated for 14 months from my fiance so I can understand how Moody feels as well as how Jean feels. The point is that Moody's post makes seem sound like she is ungrateful and she clearly is not. Jean has always used VJ as way to vent and talk about her feelings, I think most of us have come to terms with that after a few bumpy rides. If Jean's post bugs someone then they should not read them.

I don't think Jean's posts or anyone elses post are going to make this process any easier for those of us that are waiting. I don't think it's insensitive either for her to post about it either. Seperation is hard and no matter what you do it only gets harder, not easier.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I realize that you do understand but I just don't get what you beef is with her posts. She isn't doing anything wrong.

JP...I don't think Jean is ungrateful at all. Quite the contrary she's probably over the moon about her Mohammed being here. I just have noticed that she hasn't given herself a break with the stressing which makes her appear to be complaining to just complain. I'm not saying that's what she's doing but honestly that's what it seems like. I understand she must be having residual affects from this process. I understand she had an extremely difficult and long wait. Adjustment from living a single life to being married is hard enough without immigration thrown in. I get that and understand.

I read Moody's post and then I re-read it after seeing the replies. The way I read it, her ONLY objection was to still talking about the separation once someone's husband is here. I did not read it to mean she was talking about the other struggles newly married couples face when reunited but specifically continued discussion about the separation evenm though the couple is reunited.

Moody has at times drawn upon experiences in her first marriage to share in discussions regarding adjustment issues, so I don't think she has any issue with this. I have appreciated her insight in these discussions. I think think a very specific thing (talking about the separation) is being lumped into a larger issue (adjustment overall) and that was not what she meant.

Everyone has their sensitive times, I have been seperated for 14 months from my fiance so I can understand how Moody feels as well as how Jean feels. The point is that Moody's post makes seem sound like she is ungrateful and she clearly is not. Jean has always used VJ as way to vent and talk about her feelings, I think most of us have come to terms with that after a few bumpy rides. If Jean's post bugs someone then they should not read them.

I don't think Jean's posts or anyone elses post are going to make this process any easier for those of us that are waiting. I don't think it's insensitive either for her to post about it either. Seperation is hard and no matter what you do it only gets harder, not easier.

[ya falaha! 0]

JP..I PMed you. Maybe that will explain it better. I hope