I've been in the US for 8 weeks and my US partner wants to move back to UK

[Jackie79 1]

Hi Guys,

I'm about to make a very big decision and wondered if anyone has any advice. It's taken 7 months to get our K1 approved, I arrived almost 8 weeks ago and my US partner has told me she wants to move back to the UK. We lived there together for 15 months until DOMA was repealed, as soon as it was repealed she was very very excited about moving back to the US, however now she tells me she wants to move back to the UK. I'm so torn, I don't want to waste the time and effort we've put into getting here and I'm terribly homesick myself, so I don't want to make a rash decision. Should we give it a chance? It's very hard to do that when she wants to go back to the UK, she says she doesn't see the US in the same light since living in the UK.

Any advice, should we stay or go?

Thanks

Claire

[Angel012110 19]

Well In the End it is YOU as a Couple's Decision But all the effort and waiting it took to bring you on a K-1 visa would be thrown away if you move back to UK. I Suggest Applying for the GC and once approved which takes about 6-9 months take short trips to UK so you don't feel so homesick and Your spouse can revisit even if briefly what she likes so much about the uk. After you get your GC and taking short trips you can apply for citizenship through marriage( the process is currently like 6 months) in only 3 years time and after that you guys can LIVE in the UK BUT you can come and go from the US as you please. She will probably want to come back to the states after awhile and regret that you will have to be separated as the K-1 process would have to be redone. think about the FUTURE not about right now. Wish You guys the best!

[C-ma'am 684]

**Post moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

[Mike-eeh and Odie 193]

I'd say wait it out a few years and get your US Naturalization. I only advise this if you care about US Citizenship. If you go back to the UK and decide later you want to return to the USA (before you get your green card), you will have to start the immigration process all over.

[Morningmist 76]

It does seem like a waste but it is your decision and no stranger on the internet is going to be able to make that decision for you.

However, if I were in your shoes, I would get my conditional GC and stay for a year just to see what life might be like for me. If you hate it in the end, then you can move back. But at least this time you will be sure of your decision and you wouldn't keep wondering if you should have given the US a chance if you left now.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Has your partner look at the income threshold for immigrating to the UK?

[JohnR! 5,495]

Hi Guys,

I'm about to make a very big decision and wondered if anyone has any advice. It's taken 7 months to get our K1 approved, I arrived almost 8 weeks ago and my US partner has told me she wants to move back to the UK. We lived there together for 15 months until DOMA was repealed, as soon as it was repealed she was very very excited about moving back to the US, however now she tells me she wants to move back to the UK. I'm so torn, I don't want to waste the time and effort we've put into getting here and I'm terribly homesick myself, so I don't want to make a rash decision. Should we give it a chance? It's very hard to do that when she wants to go back to the UK, she says she doesn't see the US in the same light since living in the UK.

Any advice, should we stay or go?

Thanks

Claire

IMHO you are have no serious reason for worrying. So long as you are together it does not matter where you live. If things don't work out in the UK you can return to the US on a spouse visa. There is DCF in London, so it will be a simple process for you. There is no benefit for you to stay or not, so there is no 'right' answer as to whether you should stay or go.

My suggestion is that the two of you find the reasons behind the course of action - whatever your decision - and go with it.

Good luck!

[Erica & L 50]

In my opinion, if your partner who is a US citizen feels more comfortable in the UK and you yourself are homesick as well, it's better to live somewhere that will provide you both with happiness and a place you can see yourselves being long term.

Even though you had to tread through the K-1 Visa process, you shouldn't stay somewhere solely because you're afraid of it being a waste of time.

You guys know yourselves better than we know you. Do you guys change your minds quickly? Is your partner one to be wishy-washy and change her mind? There are so many factors to consider but don't feel like it's written in stone that just because you went through consular processing that you are obligated to stay here if you really rather be back in the UK. It took time and money but sometimes circumstances change.

[Teddy B 17,252]

Hi Guys,

I'm about to make a very big decision and wondered if anyone has any advice. It's taken 7 months to get our K1 approved, I arrived almost 8 weeks ago and my US partner has told me she wants to move back to the UK. We lived there together for 15 months until DOMA was repealed, as soon as it was repealed she was very very excited about moving back to the US, however now she tells me she wants to move back to the UK. I'm so torn, I don't want to waste the time and effort we've put into getting here and I'm terribly homesick myself, so I don't want to make a rash decision. Should we give it a chance? It's very hard to do that when she wants to go back to the UK, she says she doesn't see the US in the same light since living in the UK.

Any advice, should we stay or go?

Thanks

Claire

I get the feeling you both would rather be in the UK. Do what makes you both happy. As was said the "where" is kind of irrelevant as long as you both are together and happy.

[pauli 49]

The first thing you should do is exactly what aaron2020 said. Immigrating to the UK may actually be more difficult than it was to come to the US.

[JayJayH 546]

Has your partner look at the income threshold for immigrating to the UK?

The first thing you should do is exactly what aaron2020 said. Immigrating to the UK may actually be more difficult than it was to come to the US.

Do look into this. Immigrating to most European countries is no cakewalk either.

[Kiwinyc 62]

Does your partner have the right to return to live in the UK as a permanent resident?

Personally I'd be seriously pissed off with a partner who changed their mind like that, after so much expense and upheaval. In my opinion it shouldn't matter where you are as long as you are together.

[chaine1 116]

Hi Guys,

I'm about to make a very big decision and wondered if anyone has any advice. It's taken 7 months to get our K1 approved, I arrived almost 8 weeks ago and my US partner has told me she wants to move back to the UK. We lived there together for 15 months until DOMA was repealed, as soon as it was repealed she was very very excited about moving back to the US, however now she tells me she wants to move back to the UK. I'm so torn, I don't want to waste the time and effort we've put into getting here and I'm terribly homesick myself, so I don't want to make a rash decision. Should we give it a chance? It's very hard to do that when she wants to go back to the UK, she says she doesn't see the US in the same light since living in the UK.

Any advice, should we stay or go?

Thanks

Claire

Sorry things aren't going as well as expected, adjustment-wise. I just wanted to comment here, as an American citizen who moved back to the USA with my immigrant spouse after living abroad for 5 years.

8 weeks is hardly time to adjust to a big move. When we moved back, I think I had a harder time adjusting to life back in the USA than my husband did! I felt homesick for people, friends and foods abroad, even though this is my home country! There are still moments I wish we were living abroad, and we've been back for 2 years now.

I think it helps if you focus on the reasons you immigrated to the USA. When I feel like moving abroad again, I remind myself why we are here, and that there are things I would have to give up, if we were to move abroad again. I guess my point here is that from my perspective, the experience is what you make it, but 8 weeks is hardly time to adjust to a big move. I think that is a question you both need to ask yourselves - why did we move here?

Good luck in your decision - I don't envy you!

[PantomimeGoose 59]

Unless you have a well-paying job in the UK, substantial assets, or your partner can go over on a special abilities visa or the like, you may have a difficult time going back to the UK together. They've raised the thresholds in the last few years. My husband and I looked into this, and it basically wasn't a possibility for us.

You know what's best for you better than anyone else, but here's a few cents anyway.... It can be really strange to suddenly have a partner in your life in one country when you built a life together in another country. If the UK was where you met, fell in love, and lived together, it might feel like your relationship is there. For me and my husband, that was the last place we'd both had regular friends and activities and responsibilities together before visa limbo. When he came to the US, I was suddenly his whole life, and that was kind of awkward for both of us at first.

If it's just a feeling of being out of place, try giving it some time, and you two will find one together in the US. If it's more specific things about life in this country that are making you unhappy, then why waste time being unhappy?

[Jackie79 1]

Hi, thank you all for the advice. My partner already has a spousal visa for the UK. I spoke with immigration today and they said we can go back. We don't have to file for the next part of her visa until the middle of August, by then we'll have jobs that pay enough for the threshold, so the visa is not a problem.

We decided today that we're going back.

Thanks again

Claire