Black Toenails and Killer Chicken

[TBoneTX 46,305]

Oh, that's easy, as I had this problem last century.

Insert a stiletto blade into each one of yer blow-up dolls, then start stepping on their belly areas,

then roll them up, from toes to chin.

You should be able to get 3 into a plastic sack, if'n you deflate them this way.

6 blow-up dolls, 2 plastic sacks, so plan accordingly

They have plastic personalities but are quite real, see man. They will become deflated only if and when Mrs. T-B. tells them to vamoose, or if I can convince them.

Tarklars got more blow up dolls than a centipede has sneakers

All six rubias are definitely dolls, si man. And the critter is a Manypede, to be accurate.

you deserve to get a nap or sleep the day away.

Everybody deserves this, zzz man.

[TBoneTX 46,305]

crab wontons

When I lived elsewhere, I frequented a Chinese place that had dirty, stained menus. They finally replaced them. The first item on the fancy new menu was "Wanton Soup." I immediately blurted out, "I'll have 2 bowls, si man!"

---

"Waiter! Do you serve crabs here?"

"Why, yes sir -- we serve anyone."

Edited April 16, 2014 by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 46,305]

now i'm going to go be a fat blob on the sofa

Speaking of which, I have achieved my weight-loss goal (the first, anyway) and am now a shadow of my former self, whee man.

[TBoneTX 46,305]

my passport application was rejected because the photo (taken at a shop that does passport photos exclusively) had "uneven lighting". well, crud. i've got 19 days to apply again, wait for them to process the application, produce the new passport, and pick it up. $*#$@#&%

Pictures or it didn't happen, no ma'am.

nutritional yeast

An oxymoron, sigh man.

Eating stuff like that is the yeast of my worries, see man.

[TBoneTX 46,305]

1. play the fart game !

2. My wife is quite gassy. When she lets loose, she laffs and laffs and I say, "Hullo Wuhan!" , knowing she travelled a long way to include me in her hilarity.

1. Does the usual person usually win, huh man?

2. She obviously has intestinal "fartitude," whiff man.

[TBoneTX 46,305]

I'm monologuing again. Doesn't anyone else here keep reasonable hours, huh man?

---

Wednesday will be interesting, si and sigh man. Had better stay late at work to ensure that the first plane becomes airborne; should then go home and nap, zzz man, but must finish the casa-decluttering and remain coherent in case Mrs. T-B. phones; must remain awake till after midnight (usually, the peak of the evening) to ensure that the second plane becomes airborne; must then try to sleep (which never happens when I want to or must) for about Many (2+1) hours, then awaken, prep body & face, and sojourn to airport. After returning to the casa, must see when can go in to the office, and how long can remain mentally coherent, si and zzz man.

[TBoneTX 46,305]

Strange... within 24 hours of second flight and can't check them in...

[TBoneTX 46,305]

Five international flights scheduled to land this morn at about the same time, which will be the same tomorrow...

[TBoneTX 46,305]

Might as well putter and declutter, then cat prep zzz, man. Not sure of my presence here on Wednesday, no man. Mornin', Asia!

[Asia 2,499]

Morning!

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

Soo terrible and the reason I don't take ferries:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2605734/South-Korean-sinking-ship-One-dead-338-terrified-high-school-students-rescued.html

[SAT 9,609]

nutritional yeast, ...would much rather have eggplant and rice -

Rice-A-Roni......Made with Jadas yeast.....

[SAT 9,609]

Here's the gripe of the day in chronological order....

1- Gump wants to take his family on vacation o Atlantic city

2- Gump, wanting to use my car for it, because his car is a POS, and the regi is expired.

3- Gump invites my daughter so he would justify the use of my car

4- Tiff says ok. I told her were not trusting the Gump's with our kid.

5- Gump asks for the car anyway.

6- I see this is a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation

7- I lend him the friggin car, jeopardizing my assets

8- I tell Tiffs good cousin Michael what a stupid useless MF Gump is

9- Tiff scorns me and blindly defends her family. Again

10- sit her down and explain how hard it is to protect a small fortune.

11- explained that we don't have 3 cars just so Gump has them at his disposal

12- explained the right thing for Gump to do, is simply not go

13- tiff says the Gump family would have been disappointed

14- explained that I am not responsible for making sure Gump family goes on vacation

15- explained that Gump family disappointment has nothing to do with me, us.

16- tiff ask why I lent him car

17- because if I don't, then I'm the bad guy.

18- lent car....I'm still the bad guy

19- tiff says I just hate Gump

20- remind tiff that FIL also no like Gump

21- remind tiff that I don't have to like Gump.

22- told her why I no like Gump

23- tiff says I don't treat my other friends bad

24- explained that "damn right I don't"

25- remind tiff that I treat her cousin Michael like little brother

26- Tiff again, has side with her family, over her immediate family

27- SIL, BIL, I don't care. All can go to hell.

28- little progress made in past 1 year.

The end....

Go nuts. Enjoy!

[SAT 9,609]

The escapades of Gump.....

1- 2008, gums brother opens Chinese take out

2- Gump is gonna work for him and become rich

3- Gump "borrows" 10k from my FIL to give to his bro

4- Gump decides that it's time for him to buy a brand new car

5- to make deliveries

6- he goes to Toyota

7- finds out the only car he can afford is a matrix

8- finds out he has no credit

9- dealer has a sucker on the hook

10- of course the ONLY matrix available in the dealer was a base model matrix

11- with 6000 dollars of options already added to it

12- and at 21% interest! it was a steal

13- of course the finance company "requires" him to get extended warranty

14- price of car before tax and finance charges....29,000 +

15- Gump is happy. Them Malaysian sure love their cars....

16- Gump puts 155k miles on the car in 3 years. Engine blows up

17- but the seats are nice and new, because he had 20 dollar seat covers on them all this time

18- Gump loves his car, so doesn't junk it.

19- despite big dent on tailgate, car is kept washed and waxed

20- car is repaired at my cousin Rogers, still not fully paid

21- payment is 470 dollars

22- car is paid off now

23- Gump is too fing stupid to renew a regi.

24- every 2 years, regi expires without renewed.

25- more Gump stories in future.

[SAT 9,609]

Oh the Chinese take out by Gump and brother

1- restaurant never makes a penny over the next 5 years

2- is sold at loss of everything

3- Gump brother up to nose in debt

4- calls me for help, I point him in direction

5- I never speak to him again

6- Gump rarely ever got paid

7- lived on tips for 4 years

8- stupid MFers