For Your Information Mrs. G.

Wonderlander · April 9, 2014

Hey there A.,

You know who you are, since from you're emails and comments on other sites I've noticed you stalking me across the web. Id just like to talk to you like a human being, but seeings as all your emails to D. are in french and your daughter threatened to kill me if I spoke to your family... actually just threatened to kill me in general, that would seem to be a little difficult.

first off I would like to let you know that we are not married. the post that I presented on this site was for "what if" purposes only. We have not made any decisions on the matter of moving to the states yet and are still discussing the topic of where and how we will be getting married in the future. also for your reference we have been engaged since summer of 2012. whether you or anyone else thinks that we're mature enough though is not a topic I wish to get into. but unfortunatly much like me with my father I dont feel D. would inform you even if we did get married, as he is very upset with you guys and I'm not sure there is really anything you can say to change his mind.

Second of all I am perfectly aware that you never stood before us and gave D. an ultimatum. But you were never very supportive of me to begin with. you would always attempt to keep the conversation in french even as both of your children and your son in law attempted to change so that I could be included. you never asked me anything you wanted to know about me, you always asked D. and that made me feel very bad considering that not wanting to acknowledge someone is alot like pretending they dont exist. also many of the comments that D. informed me you had made, even to my face (though I wouldnt have noticed it considering they were said in french) including comments about my weight, my mothers weight, my intellegence, among other things. I felt that there were times you really tried though, on christmas eve, and day as well as a few days in the summer. but it was so intermittent that I felt that the good did not compensate for the bad. I wanted more than anything to have a good relationship with you guys and to help repair D.'s relationship with you but I guess things didnt work out that way. I never once didnt appriciate all that you had done for me, but I am not the kind of person who can allow myself to be walked all over just because someone did me a favor. I can be grateful, and I am, and will always be grateful; but I cannot be a door mat. and when you kept making comments like "D. doesnt have to leave, just J. does" it felt to D. and I that that was an ultimatum because D. knew he couldnt force me to live out on my own with no way to get a job or an apartment in a new country while he lived comfortably in a home that he didnt have to pay for. so that was the eqivelency of saying pick us or pick Jen. and we would have paid rent as soon as either one of us found a job but since the job market is so rough it wasnt until this february that he found a full time job. this was after him and I spent dozens of hours a week sending out hundreds of resumes, applications and making phone calls. we would have paid if we were able.

I know you are, and will always be angry at me about the letter I sent you. I apologize for coming off so rough but again I cannot take back much of what I said because I still feel that way. I am still upset about being treated as a second class citizen, I am still upset about the way you spoke to, and spoke about my mother so many times when you have no idea what kind of person she is. and I am upset about how D. feels you have treated him over the years. I have no doubt in my mind that you care about him deeply, you are not heartless. I am also aware that I wasn't there for the first 15 years of his life, and I know from personal experiance that he can be one major pain in the butt, but sometimes things are said and happen for stupid reasons that we cant take back, and resentment can exist for a whole host of reasons. I'm not going to pretend I totally know what happened but I do know that D. has some emotional walls built that dont just happen on their own.

as for his studies that you are understandably concerned about he is working on them right now. we bought a GED workbook and he works on it when I work on my homework nearly every night. he will be just fine in that department and able to move on to college whenever he see's fit. so please do not worry about that.

I am going against his wishes in giving you this message as he still wishes to cut all lines of communication. as much as you seem to think that its my fault that he isnt talking to you, its not. I have actually been encouraging him to try to work things out as best as possible, mostly because I recently did the same thing with my father, although it didnt work out. but because of what happened in the past, he has personally made the decision to not talk to you.

finally I will express extreme distaste in the fact that this is an effective way to contact you. I would appriciate it greatly if you would stop stalking me across the internet and calling out my every mistake on every little website. as much as you all may think I am I'm not a moron, I notice it. and I find it a little disturbing to be honest. from now on I will be changing my regular username, and perhaps even my email so as to perhaps prevent you from doing this. as I feel attacked and harrassed by these actions. please take a moment to place yourself in my shoes and consider how you would feel if I stalked everything you have ever written on the web and constantly attacked you for it. if you want to talk to me, email me, call me, text me, like a normal human being.

P.s. in response to your quite mean post (granted mine was mean as well, a regretable mixup between 2 people but still completly unexcusable) I was not begging to go to lollapolza, I was trying to get votes to win a trip there, that and I was 14, it is a bit silly to assume that a barely teen girl would behave any differently. also we we took one thing from your home and it was a mistake we very much regretted, but to act as though we stole everything when D. only took what he was told were his, is a little extreme. also just because we are atheist doesnt mean our marriage will mean less, and that our love is lesser. and your comment on my weight are very immature. yes I'm fat, extremely over weight and out of shape, I know this and I hate myself for it. you making fun of it however, doesnt change a thing. all it does is make you sound like the 12 year olds that used to make fun of my weight in elementary school. if you want to insult me maturely call me a , call me a nasty little witch and a horrible person because those things actually apply to the situation but we don't have to stoop to the level of children and insult each others apperances "anonymously" through the internet.

P.P.S

Apologies if it is difficult for us to discern the sincerity of a white flag from the person who threw the first punch.

Sincerly,

J.