Anyone Happy they Moved to the USA?

[RojoGringo 6]

Hi All,

I am new here and have been reading some post and I read http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/484680-how-well-did-you-adjust/ is has depressed me because I see that many have not adjusted well and are very sad living in the USA. It frightens me because my fiance is from Colombia and would be moving to the Metro Detroit area, and it is the opposite of everything she is accustomed to. I do not want to see her sad it would devastate me, I was wondering if there is anyone who found positives by coming here to America?

[Marco&Bettina 502]

Being happy here is all about what you make of it. When my fiancee gets here, she will be going to gym with me, where she will meet people. She also will be getting involved in the local German community. That will help her assimilate. It's important to build a social network & you just can't do that if you always stay home. It is important to get outdoors & live life.

[Carla V 43]

Hi, I came from Mexico almost two years ago with a k1 visa, I can tell you Im happily married, we have our first daughter, and I cant imagine nothing better!!! My husband loves me as much, its difficult to know deeply another person, if you add the stress of a different country it's worse, but i can assure you that it worth everything for one minute by his side!!! We live in Texas, in a samall town, I came from a big, big city and the change was so sudden, but im sure if you love each other and are willing to see the things positive you will do it smoothly... Our K1 process took 9 moths (I saw your other post) not three years... don't doubt, just start... is a terrible wait but its so amazing the opportunity of be together... you can always come back to Colombia, is not that everything is over once you settle here... we have that open door... who knows what life have for us

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Hi All,

I am new here and have been reading some post and I read http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/484680-how-well-did-you-adjust/ is has depressed me because I see that many have not adjusted well and are very sad living in the USA. It frightens me because my fiance is from Colombia and would be moving to the Metro Detroit area, and it is the opposite of everything she is accustomed to. I do not want to see her sad it would devastate me, I was wondering if there is anyone who found positives by coming here to America?

I have been in the US for more than 2 months now. I am happy and easy to get adjusted - of course being with my fiance is the best feeling ever-. I come from Indonesia that totally different from the US in any way. Food, lifestyle, environment, people, and etc. The hardest part is I used to work with hectic and long hours schedule and suddenly just staying in apartment alone with my 2 cats waiting my fiance back from work.

The reason why I am easy to adjust because I moved to different places for my job assignment for the last 10 years. That's the good thing. Also, I lived in big city (Jakarta) where traffic jam is always at worst. Live in Key West really give me some peace of mind. No traffic jam, loud noise, and any other things are part of a big city. That's positive side.

Even though I am not working yet, but I still write some articles voluntary for the company where I worked before and to make me busy and occupied. My fiance and I went out shopping, take a walk with my cats, or just reading on internet, watching some stuff on YouTube, CBS, Hulu, talking to my friends on Facebook, or video calls my friends. There are a lot stuff she can do here. Make a list. My fiance kept asking me what do I want, he searched Asian stores, looking something to make me feel good and belong here. He also introduced me to his co-workers, bring me to his work, parties, and talk to his mom and the entire family. That makes me feel like at home. His mother and aunty kept sending me some stuff for cats, snack for us, cards, and etc. Those things are very warmth welcome to me.

Make sure your fiancee feels she deserve living in the US. We are beneficiaries left all behind for our loved ones and we need encourage and very strong support to get through all of these situation. Colombia is not so much different from the US - my guess-. Sometimes these things only worst in mind rather than in reality.

Edited April 8, 2014 by Girl from Celebes

[didopage 337]

You should definitely help her meet some people in your area that are also from Columbia. It helps a lot! It's not easy to move and quit family and friends, but making and having new friends, that especially come from the same home country is a great thing. I, and by consequent we (my husband and I), met some other french-american couples in our city and it's always great hanging out with all of them.

Coming back to France is always a big "bowl of fresh air" (don't know if that's also an english expression?) and I miss it for sure. There are some good aspects living there, like there are some bad ones. But it's the same here in the US. In the end, it's about realizing all that and finding a balance.

It's not easy to adjust for sure, so make sure you understand her and help her feeling better. She should also be aware of what's coming... so she knows what to expect.

If you want a positive review, I like living here and don't regret taking the big decision of moving to the US. It's easy to complain (especially since I'm french ) about everything that is different here and not "as good" as in France but there's also lots of new things to experience here (talking about food especially ). Plus there's still a possibility that one day we'll move back to my home country for a few years...

Edited April 8, 2014 by didopage

[Ralph and Meghan 19]

I'm here for almost a year now. And i have my ups and downs. I miss things from my home country and not everything went like planned. But i'm very happy that i did make this move. i noticed it takes time and support from your new family. I'm lucky that my wife understands my feeling and that I have my moments. I slowly picking up my life again. Started working get some friends etc etc.

I'm confided that I'll make it here and that this will be my new home.

I did like this story, read it when you have time

http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2012/05/what-happens-when-you-live-abroad/

[twofors 30]

Hi RojoGringo, Be patient and understanding. Love always finds a way.

[Tigre&Tigresa 11]

Hi! Since I'm from a country close to your fiancee's, I figured I'd share my experience with you. I moved to the US in November last year from a small city to a big, different one. I used to work long hours and live in a big house with my family and pets... so coming here to a small, empty apartment, in an area that was not exactly safe to go to the store without pepper spray and on top of it I was a minority was hard for me. My husband worked night shift, falling asleep by myself was very hard... needless to say, I cried a lot for a couple of months and got very depressed, my hair was falling, I put on some weight, I felt like I was happy to be with him, but I wasn't whole because my family wasn't here. He understood this was a huge change for me and we talked about it many times, he made his best to support my hobbies so I wouldn't get bored and started thinking, making myself miserable. We were blessed with a shift change for him and now we get to sleep together at night and most of the time he has the weekends off so we can go out and do things together, also things are looking up and we're moving to a better area. Bottom line, she'll be sad for a while, I think it's natural... she might even tell you she wants to go back home, I know I did, specially because at "that time of the month" we girls get extra emotional. But technology is available and there are so many apps now to call home, text, etc, that will make her know her family is still there and they're doing ok. The most important thing is to love and understand each other. About positives I've found coming here, DUH! I'm married to the man I love and that's the most positive thing I can think of. Also all the new places I've got to go with my husband... The weather is mostly nice, that helps too

[TBoneTX 45,319]

Mrs. T-B. and Mini-Bone (3 years old) are currently in Ecuador, for 3.5 weeks total. After about 9 days, Mrs. T-B. told me that she wanted to come home, that Ecu wasn't for her any longer and that the U.S. is her country. She's counting the days (we can't change the tickets). It's interesting how perspectives change.

Edited April 9, 2014 by TBoneTX

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Hubby moved over from the UK in 2008 the first time and was miserable. We stayed here for 3 years and then his dad was ill so we went back to the UK. He missed the US so much he couldn't wait to come back again!! It takes time, love, and patience.

[Yuliya Lipina 64]

Your beloved one will definitely feel sad for some time. I'm sure she'll get accustomed. It takes some time. Don't be surprised if homesickness strikes three months after she moves to the US. Sometimes it happens like this.

[mtcmk1 37]

In exactly a month, my husband will celebrate his first year in the US. I can say that he is very happy; has adjusted quickly; and learning more and more about life in the US. I think the best advice I can give is to make sure that she is very involved in not only your everyday life, but in the community. My husband goes to school, works, attends church, goes to the gym, runs races, attends community events, etc. and has already made a tight group of friends (my friends and his new friends.) Before she comes, plan for her. Make sure that she doesn't just sit at home--that will make her depressed and unhappy. Get her involved and her adjustment should go smoothly. Make sure that she is not only acquainted with English speakers but also with people that speak her native language. Of course, there are times that she will be homesick... but homesickness is not always due to unhappiness. Good luck!!

PS--meetup.com has helped us a lot too!

Edited April 9, 2014 by mtcmk1

[DandC 13]

I never wanted to move to the US but since my then fiance has a better job, it was a no brainer. I was worried about not being able to adjust as I knew I will be idle for 3-5 months until I get my work permit. I am a workaholic so this is not easy.

But I came here with an optimistic perspective that everything will be okay despite my apprehensions. I discovered my passion for cooking and seeing the satisfied look on my husband's face (the one that has "a very happy belly smile" written all over, lol) is priceless. He also introduced me to his friends who are all wonderful. He knew I love rice so he took me to this big asian store to buy a rice cooker and to show off the Filipino aisle in that store. Hahaha. I love going to the spa and have massages but it is expensive to do that here. So he gives me a foot massage every night. Yes, I am spoiled.

He knew he will be busy with his work so he made sure that we have internet connection and a back up as he knows I am an internet freak. Also got us a subscription to Netflix so I can watch the movies I missed as I was too busy working back when I was still in the Philippines.

I almost lost it as I arrived during winter time and unfortunately, the worst winter here since 1907. Coming from the tropics, this drove me crazy but my ever patient husband made sure I was okay. He would occasionally take me to the mall. He would pick me up during his lunch break, take me to the mall sometimes just to have coffee and enjoy a good book and people watching. Then would just pick me up when he is done working.

And now that spring is "almost" here in our neck of the woods, he encourages and reminds me to go out and walk around the neighbourhood and enjoy the sun. And I am!

I guess what I am trying to say is, the success or failure during our period of adjustment depends on us-- on my husband to be supportive, patient, loving and encouraging and on me to be receptive to change and accept the new environment. So yea, I can say I am happily adjusting. I have my down times too but I choose not to wallow. Whenever I feel bored, I get my pen and paper to make a to do list, whether planning a gourmet dinner or making a grocery list (and trying to master couponing!)

Hope your fiancee will adjust well. All the best!

[B_J 2,752]

Just a couple of things to add:

1. Almost everybody, no matter where they are from, experiences sadness at being so far away from their home, family, and friends. Don't think this sadness means she is questioning your relationship. It is really unrelated. It is something you can't fix and just have to help her deal with.

2. When you're at work, she will probably be stuck at home. When you get home from work, don't always just sit and relax. Think about taking her out, even if it is just to drive around and see the city. Just let her get out of the house.

[Messybrownhair 251]

Transition and adjustment periods are always hard, but it does get easier once you establish a routine and make a new life for yourself. I would say I was homesick the first month or two, but once I started school, and got settled into life with my husband it got much easier. He deployed for a year and I was alone and I managed simply because I had made friends and already gotten the hang of living life here. Give it time, and make sure you are supporting your spouse

Edited April 9, 2014 by Messybrownhair