87% of American women (18-64) claim to have been harassed on the street by men

[sharky-rex 76]

So it's ok for the woman to make prolonged eye contact with the man, but not ok for the man to compliment the woman first. I see.

Common sense has to come into play with everything. If a man is using common sense, not being threatening and not crossing any boundaries of harassment or vulgarity, then I see no problem with it. Based on the responses I've received from women in the past, neither did they.

I assumed you'd be playing eye footsie if you're contemplating giving a compliment. No, it's not okay for a woman to stare. It's not okay for anyone to stare.

The problem isn't you. The problem is, as the poster above said, that you never know when compliments will turn into insults. Jerks don't come with warning labels on their foreheads. I don't know if you'll turn violent if I don't respond to your compliment. That's why I said it's good to judge the situation before you compliments someone, not just whether you like them. And if you can't give the tiny amount of effort it would take to do that, then again, you're putting your desire to compliment over her potentially feeling threatened. You don't care how your compliment makes her feel, just that you give it. So why compliment at all?

[sharky-rex 76]

So it's ok for the woman to make prolonged eye contact with the man, but not ok for the man to compliment the woman first. I see.

Common sense has to come into play with everything. If a man is using common sense, not being threatening and not crossing any boundaries of harassment or vulgarity, then I see no problem with it. Based on the responses I've received from women in the past, neither did they.

This is Nikki (the American half of sharky rex ) and I'd like to confirm that I don't like random comments from strangers either. What I don't think a lot of guys realize is that your "compliment" may not be the only one we've had thrown our way that month, or week, or even day. We are *constantly* being harassed by men on the street and the fact of the matter is that after a while, your well-intentioned compliment starts to sound a lot like the ill-intentioned ones.

So maybe, just a a general rule of thumb... don't comment on a woman's looks unless you actually know her. We're so much more than just our appearances and if you're truly looking to speak to a stranger and make her day better, you can do way better than something so superficial.

I don't think I could compliment someone as they're just walking by; but if there is a situation where two people are talking to each other, I don't see why anyone wouldn't want a compliment. And a compliment doesn't mean flirting. It is kind of sad if we're at the point in society that saying something nice is a bad thing.

That's perfectly fine, unless you're in a professional setting. And yes, guys do sometimes comment in passing, probably thinking it's a compliment. And if you don't say anything a good portion of those will turn around and call you a stuck up . That's sad too, isn't it?

[*Snowdrop* 604]

I don't think I could compliment someone as they're just walking by; but if there is a situation where two people are talking to each other, I don't see why anyone wouldn't want a compliment. And a compliment doesn't mean flirting. It is kind of sad if we're at the point in society that saying something nice is a bad thing.

But then that's not harassing someone on the street, that's just being charming in a social situation which is usually a good thing.

But then common sense and decency also comes into play.

"You have nice boobs" is technically a compliment but not really appropriate to the new girl at the office party.

[Teddy B 17,252]

I assumed you'd be playing eye footsie if you're contemplating giving a compliment. No, it's not okay for a woman to stare. It's not okay for anyone to stare.

The problem isn't you. The problem is, as the poster above said, that you never know when compliments will turn into insults. Jerks don't come with warning labels on their foreheads. I don't know if you'll turn violent if I don't respond to your compliment. That's why I said it's good to judge the situation before you compliments someone, not just whether you like them. And if you can't give the tiny amount of effort it would take to do that, then again, you're putting your desire to compliment over her potentially feeling threatened. You don't care how your compliment makes her feel, just that you give it. So why compliment at all?

Like I said previously, if it's done with class a woman will know it's sincere. Will she know I'm not a serial killer? No, but then again I'm not necessarily looking to hook up with her either. There is really no situation to judge when you're simply walking down the street during the middle of the day and a pretty woman wearing a nice outfit is coming the other way. To give her a respectful compliment in that regard is in no way out of line. I give compliments to make people feel good. When did that become non-desirable?

[sharky-rex 76]

You're just gonna ignore everything I say, won't you?

[Teddy B 17,252]

This is Nikki (the American half of sharky rex ) and I'd like to confirm that I don't like random comments from strangers either. What I don't think a lot of guys realize is that your "compliment" may not be the only one we've had thrown our way that month, or week, or even day. We are *constantly* being harassed by men on the street and the fact of the matter is that after a while, your well-intentioned compliment starts to sound a lot like the ill-intentioned ones.

So maybe, just a a general rule of thumb... don't comment on a woman's looks unless you actually know her. We're so much more than just our appearances and if you're truly looking to speak to a stranger and make her day better, you can do way better than something so superficial.

That's perfectly fine, unless you're in a professional setting. And yes, guys do sometimes comment in passing, probably thinking it's a compliment. And if you don't say anything a good portion of those will turn around and call you a stuck up ######. That's sad too, isn't it?

There would be a lot of good relationships that would've never happened if most men lived by those rules. Sorry, but your view is simply not the majority view and if I happen to offend someone by complimenting them in a classy manner, then I believe the problem is with them, not me. It really doesn't matter how many men have hit on you.

[sharky-rex 76]

There would be a lot of good relationships that would've never happened if most men lived by those rules. Sorry, but your view is simply not the majority view and if I happen to offend someone by complimenting them in a classy manner, then I believe the problem is with them, not me. It really doesn't matter how many men have hit on you.

XD

I'm pretty sure 87% is a majority.

Seriously. Leave the girls alone.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I don't think most people consider a random compliment to be harassment, so saying 87% of women don't like compliments would likely be inaccurate.

[mota bhai 2,675]

We're so much more than just our appearances and if you're truly looking to speak to a stranger and make her day better, you can do way better than something so superficial.

A lot of women take a lot of pride in their appearance. I don't think they would consider that "superficial".

[Teddy B 17,252]

XD

I'm pretty sure 87% is a majority.

Seriously. Leave the girls alone.

I believe you're confused as to what the 87% refers to in this thread.

[sharky-rex 76]

There would be a lot of good relationships that would've never happened if most men lived by those rules. Sorry, but your view is simply not the majority view and if I happen to offend someone by complimenting them in a classy manner, then I believe the problem is with them, not me. It really doesn't matter how many men have hit on you.

Yep, doesn't matter how many men have hit on you. Doesn't matter what you think about it. My view is obviously the majority view. I'm classy. If I offend someone, so be it, the problem is obviously with them, not with me. If I want to comment on the physical appearance of a woman walking down the street I will, because I want to compliment pretty girls, dammit.

[Teddy B 17,252]

Yep, doesn't matter how many men have hit on you. Doesn't matter what you think about it. My view is obviously the majority view. I'm classy. If I offend someone, so be it, the problem is obviously with them, not with me. If I want to comment on the physical appearance of a woman walking down the street I will, because I want to compliment pretty girls, dammit.

Perhaps your sexual preference has something to do with you not liking men complimenting you?

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Oh boy. Here we go.

[sharky-rex 76]

Perhaps your sexual preference has something to do with you not liking men complimenting you?

Ignoring the other girl up there?

[Teddy B 17,252]

Oh boy. Here we go.