What do you think makes a 'good' parent?

[Fischkoepfin 1]

Patience and a tendency to stay calm no matter what the child does. A willingness to let the child be; there's nothing worse than parents who don't allow there children to learn about the world themselves. Lack of ambition when it comes to the child, but willingness to support the child in achieving its goals. Acceptance that children are not adults and won't act like adults, which doesn't mean that children shouldn't be disciplined. And a healthy self-interest; while it is a good idea to spend time with a child, it is equally important to keep up with one's own life.

[Satisfaction 1]

Patience and a tendency to stay calm no matter what the child does. A willingness to let the child be; there's nothing worse than parents who don't allow there children to learn about the world themselves. Lack of ambition when it comes to the child, but willingness to support the child in achieving its goals. Acceptance that children are not adults and won't act like adults, which doesn't mean that children shouldn't be disciplined. And a healthy self-interest; while it is a good idea to spend time with a child, it is equally important to keep up with one's own life.

A agree. I asked my father once and dhe said "a parent is someone who put a child in the right direction". I am not sure what a good parent should be. There are probably a thousand possible answers to this. For sure I know that the most important responsability in life is to raise a child. And it's not easy!! (I'm still asking myself this question a lot of times )

Providing the basic necessities (i.e. food, shelter, clothing and so on) is one thing but parental responsabilities don't end there. A parent should also support a child emotionally, intellectually and spiritually as well, so that his or her child will fully develop into a responsible, independant and articulate adult who has self-esteem and respect for others.

It's like taking care of a plant or a tree finally!! You take care of it and it will grow: give it water when it is thirsty, give it sunshine when it wants, cool down the temperatre if it's hot, add humidity if it's dry, give it food to grow, cut the dead ends, kill the parasites... Tell it which way to grow and it will follow!

[MrMrsKnight 0]

I don't have kids eother so I really hope I'm as good as my parents are.

They're fair, very very loving and always listen to me and my sister. Even when we were very little, we were allowed to help and give our opinion. My sister was 3 years old when we bought and apartment and she totally helped us looking for a place eveyone liked.

They have always talked to us about everything too, I wanna be able to do that with my kids.... be their mom but also a good friend.

My parents have always thought the best thing they could give us was education and they made an effort to put us in the best schools possible. Even if it cost a lot..... (which it sure did...... lol). And by education I also mean the aducation that comes not only from our teachers, but our own parents. Teaching us what was right and wrong always meant something because they had the patience to explain why, and not just impose that on us.

And good music, good movies, good tv shows on Sunday... road trips even when the money was short and we had to sleep in the car oh man.... great times!

And the incredible amount of that every day patience.

They're my heroes and I really hope I'm as good as them!

[j&js 0]

I think firm but fair is the principle I will live by as a mother. Also, we have had many discussions about raising our kids with a good work ethic!

[Sinergy 3]

Unconditional Love, and theres no room for selfishness when your a parent. I left myself behind when i had my daughter, and now that I have my son, its an automatic "what do the kids need" and it takes someone else to tell me what I need.

I also believe the ability to LISTEN well is a key aspect, im so glad my daughter can come to me when she has an issue that she feels she cant go to anyone else with, and shes so open with me, i dont worry about her at all.

I also think to be a good parent you have to keep yourself a child too, especially when they are young, no child likes to here mommy say "im too busy to play right now", i say leave the house cleaning or the bring home work alone for a little while and have some Blues Clues FUN!

[DouglasSheridan 1]

boy thats a though one!

So many things come to mind...

I would go for love most of all. It doesnt matter how much cash you have in the bank, its not bout being able to buy your child all they want, its bout loving them through thick and thin.

My Mom always said it wasnt quantity, but quality that mattered, and I still believe that today when I look at mine and my sons relationship. Its also bout being open, letting your child know that whatever happens, whatever they do you are there for them and will support them, even though you might not approve. Its also educating your children for the future... like the alcohol and smoking adds.... by the time you tell em it might be too late, so tell them early.

My son is nine, but we discuss drugs and alcohol and I am very open with him bout sexual choices too. When during my first marriage we went through fertility treatment, I explained things through him, what was happening, etc etc

Now in my second marriage, its gotten harder. My husband and I have been raised very differently. And it causes hiccups here and there. He believes his views are right, and I am used to raising my son, since I have done for the past 9 years before my husband entered the picture. I think slowly but surely we are finding a balance, a balance that is good for our son and will help him grow into a rational adult ( I hope) but then again.... ask me that question once more when he is like 14 and in full puberty motion! LOL Then I'd go with the above stated 'thick skin' !

[aussiewench 9]

Someone that doesn't try to be the child's best friend or buddy. Someone that will make the decision that's in the child's best interest, not the most popular one.

i agree with that...too many friends not enough parents...

I disagree. I have always been much more friend then parent. It enabled my kids to come to me with most anything and for us to discuss things (sometimes though it would make my hair curl even more hahahaha). It enabled me to give examples from personal experiences as to why something was wrong or not a good idea. They tended to take my advice more as opposed to thinking 'what does mom know' when mom just says the standard 'No' with little or no reason as to why. I have total respect from my kids as their mom. They know they don't have the standard, out of the box mom.....so do their friends. But guess what.....with my eldest now 28 and my youngest 18, I wouldnt change a thing on the type of mom that I was and am. They were given rope to make their mistakes, without mistakes they wouldnt learn. When they'd leave the house I would say one word..'consequences'. I never judge and they always have had my support no matter what and I always forgive them their mistakes. I am proud of my kids and the lives they have made for themselves. They are thinkers, responsible, loving, respectful and believe in themselves.

[MrMrsKnight 0]

Someone that doesn't try to be the child's best friend or buddy. Someone that will make the decision that's in the child's best interest, not the most popular one.

i agree with that...too many friends not enough parents...

I disagree. I have always been much more friend then parent. It enabled my kids to come to me with most anything and for us to discuss things (sometimes though it would make my hair curl even more hahahaha). It enabled me to give examples from personal experiences as to why something was wrong or not a good idea. They tended to take my advice more as opposed to thinking 'what does mom know' when mom just says the standard 'No' with little or no reason as to why. I have total respect from my kids as their mom. They know they don't have the standard, out of the box mom.....so do their friends. But guess what.....with my eldest now 28 and my youngest 18, I wouldnt change a thing on the type of mom that I was and am. They were given rope to make their mistakes, without mistakes they wouldnt learn. When they'd leave the house I would say one word..'consequences'. I never judge and they always have had my support no matter what and I always forgive them their mistakes. I am proud of my kids and the lives they have made for themselves. They are thinkers, responsible, loving, respectful and believe in themselves.

I agree with Aussie here! My parents are my friends... respect the opinions I have( and I respect them as my parents) and talk to me about them when they think I'm wrong, like friends usually do. That made me always trust them and come to them first when I had a problem. They were (almost) always the first ones to know what was going on with me because I knew the advice they'd give me would be coming from a real friend, someone that really thought about my situation, and lived something similar, and not just someone who would say "no" just because had the right to.

You can be your child's friend and still be an exelent parent. A friend is not someone who always says "yes" by the way.... a friend, in my opinion, is just someone who goes through life with you and makes the journey not as hard. They still disagree, they still say no sometimes.... but they make you understand why.

I am really lucky I have 2 friends that are at least 25 years older than me and can teach me from their own experiences! I've gotta tell you life would be harder without those two around as friends.

But hey.... this is my opinion

And Aussie............ mom? is that you?????

[aussiewench 9]

And Aussie............ mom? is that you?????

Kudos to your mom and dad (aka friends)