visa on hand! but USC husband doesnt want us to leave!

[purpleblush 16]

Do not give up without even trying.

[Me_Theo 25]

answer please this questions.

1- How much your husband make money in U.S? Also how much he sends to you each month?

2- How much your country help your child as a autism kid?

3- How much your country therapy are working good with your child?

4-How much your husband loves your child?

5-What is your life level in your country ?

6- if you come to U.S what will be your life level ?

7-If you had not a child , How much your marriage was working till now?

8- Your husband has other kids from another women, younger or oldest than your child in U.S or no?

9- How much your husband family interfere about his family ( you and your child= his family)?

10-How old your child now?

11-For what kind reasons your husband has to say stay in Philippine.

12-What do you have in Philippine?( as house - business or ..... )

13- how much can you save money or else for your autsim kid's future. you know may be he/she could not work for all his/her life.

Then how much you can save for her/his. Also if you come to U.S, how much you can save in U.S?

if you answer these questions, may be people can help you more.

--------

Your child is US citizen and deserve to be in his/her country with autism or without autism, also you are too, because you are his/her mom.

Just your question should be this . What is the best thing i can do for my austim child in this situation.

Does not matter what do you want or what does you husband want or what does your husband family want.

Focus on this part.

Edited April 2, 2014 by Me_Theo

[Thartieanne 1]

We don't really knew the other side of the story but this is my assessment.

SOmetimes, when we are very eager to come to the US it will give our spouse a doubt of what truly your intention is. As you said, he think that it is better to live in the Philippines because of the cheaper cost. Maybe you were right about him testing you but not the way you think it is. He was testing you on how far you will go just to come here in the US and you failed. It's very sad and I'm sorry for that. The best thing you can do is to lay low. Stop bugging him about buying you ticket already because as you know, he knows better what to do. And as I have observed, your eagerness of living in the US is more obvious than your excuse of just wanted to meet his parents and them meeting their grandson. I'm not being mean with my comment. I just wanted you to see where you went wrong...But whatever journey you were taking though, God be with you..Just remember that living in the US is not as what you thought it is. And looking for Job here to support for the both of you were not easy either.

Edited April 2, 2014 by Thartieanne

[mas85 0]

Me_Theo: answers to your question... 1. i'm not sure about the exact amount but i know he makes more than P150 thousand a month if converted to pesos. He gave me a supplementary creditcard that i can use to buy groceries esp. milk for our toddler. i take pictures of the food that i buy and sends it to him cos he wants to know what i bought. he gives around P15thou cash for the bills and my allowance. 2. our almost 2 year old son goes to therapy 1 to 2x a week which costs P700 per session. I was also taught how to do therapy at home everyday as much as possible. Our child's speech has improved because of that. 4) my husband loves our child. he is a very good provider and spends time with our son as much as he can. 5) what is life level? we are just in the middle class. 6)I am an RN. if i come to US and get a chance to work as a nurse I know I can help with our family's finances more. 7) if we didn't have a child maybe we are still getting to know with each other. I'm not sure. 8) husband has 1 teenage son with his xgf but they don't have communication anymore because he thinks his son was brainwashed by his exgf 9) my husband's parents or family doesnt interfere with our marriage so far. 10) our son is almost 2 y.o 11) my husband likes to stay in the P.I cos its much cheaper. 12) I have properties that I have inherited from my father- a house, and apartment business. 13) i can't say how much my son will need in the future but as of now I have significant amount of bank savings also from my inheritance.

[mas85 0]

thartieanne: thanks for your advice. I will not deny that I wanted to go to US just like other people because I love travelling and see places. Tourist visa is actually fine with me but since I'm married to my USC husband I want to embrace the priviledge of a spouse visa. I love my country too and I'm ok with our family staying here for good but i also want to see for myself if there are better opportunites there that can help our family more. You are right that I have to lay low and i'm not bringing up that topic to him anymore. I think I failed my husband in so many ways. I will just wait until he will be the one to initiate the topic.

[Me_Theo 25]

Me_Theo: answers to your question... 1. i'm not sure about the exact amount but i know he makes more than P150 thousand a month if converted to pesos. He gave me a supplementary creditcard that i can use to buy groceries esp. milk for our toddler. i take pictures of the food that i buy and sends it to him cos he wants to know what i bought. he gives around P15thou cash for the bills and my allowance. 2. our almost 2 year old son goes to therapy 1 to 2x a week which costs P700 per session. I was also taught how to do therapy at home everyday as much as possible. Our child's speech has improved because of that. 4) my husband loves our child. he is a very good provider and spends time with our son as much as he can. 5) what is life level? we are just in the middle class. 6)I am an RN. if i come to US and get a chance to work as a nurse I know I can help with our family's finances more. 7) if we didn't have a child maybe we are still getting to know with each other. I'm not sure. 8) husband has 1 teenage son with his xgf but they don't have communication anymore because he thinks his son was brainwashed by his exgf 9) my husband's parents or family doesnt interfere with our marriage so far. 10) our son is almost 2 y.o 11) my husband likes to stay in the P.I cos its much cheaper. 12) I have properties that I have inherited from my father- a house, and apartment business. 13) i can't say how much my son will need in the future but as of now I have significant amount of bank savings also from my inheritance.

ok,I can not talk about,will you find a job in U.S or no. then I don't want count on your earning money in US. because you have a very young autism child, he needs you more than money in this years .You should teach to yourself to help him , then better you stay with him in home to improve him .

Then no ways, do not think about working out of your home .

An other hand your husband has a son and your child should know his brother soon as soon that is good for both of them.

That is a good things for your child he has a older brother. you should be happy about it for your child future, Life is short and after you and your husband , the brother can help your child.also his kids will help to their uncle (your child), i hope.

Then if you someday arrive in U.S , you should try to have a good Relations with him and his mother too.

that another your duty will be because your child's future.

Your husband is paying money for his teenage son and his mom. (it is in the law) he should to do it too. that is okay.

Then, he is right, your country is cheaper and he can have it this chance for his child.I am happy your country therapist is working good, and your child can talk with a few words. that is very good news too, teach him just English. do n't forget it.

Also DO NOT think U.S therapist can make a Miracle to him in U.S. Because every thing in U.S works with money. if you pay more money you will have good things. good therapist needs more money. if you do not have the money , that will be may be worse than your country therapist .

But here is big important thing is happening. you should take your green card soon as soon. we do not know about future and what will happen tomorrow. I wish i could never tell this but if something happen to your husband in U. S. also you do not have green card what will you do? and what will happen to your son?

Then, I think you should take your green card , not just for live in US. Just because we do not know future and how much we will be alive after now.

Try to talk to your husband about how you can take your green card in your home country, or how you come in US for a while (some months) and after you take your green card, you go back to your country till he can tell you come forever or he comes back to Philippine. I am sure the congressman in his state can do something about it. He should explain about his son and other things I said here . May be they let you back in your country after some months without affect on your US citizenship processing in future if you want someday to be US citizen. Because of your autism child.

DO NOT think you come in U. S without help from your husband and ….and go between other Filipino and …. That is really stupid thing if you want to do it.Try to be do mature also try fast grow up. Your child needs both you.

Do not make new drama, do not put your son in risk. The best helping to your son should come first .

talk with your husband, say this to him.

if you like show my words to him. let him a little think about it. You should have green card soon as soon because we do not know what will happen tomorrow for us. Our child should be safe with us and without us.

Edited April 2, 2014 by Me_Theo

[G. Simoun 3]

My thinking is maybe if we land in the US without his help he would somehow change his mind.

That sounds very passive aggressive and manipulative. Learn to resolve your issues through dialogue.

[Thartieanne 1]

mas85: I'm so glad that you see my point..

[dwheels76 5,475]

Goodness now it has got to this? What is going on here?.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/489469-how-true-is-it/#entry6924698

[Morningmist 76]

If she didn't have the pacific ocean between her and her husband, what advice would you give a married woman with a young child who is waiting in the next state to join her husband and he says no after she has bought the plane tickets and the movers have packed everything? Wouldn't you ask her to confront her husband and ask him why? Or would you ask her to resolve everything via email or text or lay low?

As his WIFE, she has every right to go to him and ask him to answer her questions. She's not a slave or a hooker or some random woman who is having a casual relationship with him.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

IShe's not a slave or a hooker or some random woman who is having a casual relationship with him.

That's to be determined, based on today's thread.

[mas85 0]

Morningmist: i honestly feel like im treated that way. I cant speak my mind cos everytime i try to explain my side he calls me 'brainless' or dumbass.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Sounds like it's time for a divorce and to move on with you life in the Philippines.

[Caryh 5,206]

Sounds like it's time for a divorce and to move on with you life in the Philippines.

Philippines citizens cannot get a divorce and just move on with their lives.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Philippines citizens cannot get a divorce and just move on with their lives.

USC can initiate foreign divorce and that will be good enough for PI.