visa on hand! but USC husband doesnt want us to leave!

[Caryh 5,206]

WOW so we are advocating that the VISA is the golden ticket and whether the US citizen wants you or not come on over because well it’s okay really.

Do we even know the whole story? Sorry to play devil’s advocate here. But I have issue with someone saying “I have my own money and I have friends in US”. So what bump the US citizen who is on the hook for your butt. Seems you already have your plan laid out and could careless whether he “comes around” or not. Really?

If this was a K1 person and they said he or she broke up with me but I am coming (It was posted here 2 weeks ago). She was jumped on with all 4’s . How dare she come here when she wasn’t wanted. Why would she come if she wasn’t wanted. Yet here you go promoting someone come here, live where they want, do what they want.

I thought it was a spousal Visa. Meaning you are coming to live with the spouse.

A visa should be the LAST thing you should be focused on. Your marriage should be first and foremost. Damn the Visa. Good grief.

Legally she can come here. Who is advocating her coming, if anything I see questioning why she would want to. Personally why should I judge her, we have more than enough people putting their personal judgement on everyone that posts in these forums. Are we not supposed to give honest answers now because some would decide she doesn't have the right to fight for her marriage after she's, married him, had his child and gone through the entire process this far?

[Ed and Gina 45]

WOW so we are advocating that the VISA is the golden ticket and whether the US citizen wants you or not come on over because well it’s okay really.

Do we even know the whole story? Sorry to play devil’s advocate here. But I have issue with someone saying “I have my own money and I have friends in US”. So what bump the US citizen who is on the hook for your butt. Seems you already have your plan laid out and could careless whether he “comes around” or not. Really?

If this was a K1 person and they said he or she broke up with me but I am coming (It was posted here 2 weeks ago). She was jumped on with all 4’s . How dare she come here when she wasn’t wanted. Why would she come if she wasn’t wanted. Yet here you go promoting someone come here, live where they want, do what they want.

I thought it was a spousal Visa. Meaning you are coming to live with the spouse.

A visa should be the LAST thing you should be focused on. Your marriage should be first and foremost. Damn the Visa. Good grief.

[sara..... 371]

What about purchasing round trip tickets? that way you can find out what is going on with your marriage and return home if there is no way to work out the marriage?

sara

[dwheels76 5,468]

It is actually hurting me that my husband doesnt want to take me now to US. He says he loves our family but he prefers to live in the philippines cos its much cheaper. We have a condo unit that will be finished soon this year and he's excited more excited to move in there with us than going to US. I just want him to take us to his country so i can meet his family so they can also meet their grandchild. I love my husband so much but sometimes i feel he is testing me cos i have been obeying and doing what he likes. He visits us here 3 to 4 times a year.

I understand. But this whole journey is suppose to be about being together. WHEREVER. What matter is it if he lives there. You are together.

I would say you so fixated on being in US maybe he is testing you. Maybe you were more focused on the destination instead of the journey. It should not matter whether it be the Moon Mars or US. If he wants to be with you in the Philippines what is wrong with that.

[doug/sherry 26]

If you can afford to go on your own then it would erase his arguement right

and be happy to see you. Or maybe there is more to his story than he is

telling you?

[Mr.&Mrs.EMB 55]

OP should sort things out with the hubby first. This is just IMO. Now, talk about if you can legally come and decide to sort things out with the hubby, sure. The reason why you've been issued the visa was that the US government believes your relationship is legitimate. But if your purpose is just to stay even without your husband's consent, then it contradicts the rationale of visa issuance which is "to unite families." I wish you well on trying to sort things out with your hubby but if that don't go well, then there's really no use staying in the states.

[Caryh 5,206]

I understand. But this whole journey is suppose to be about being together. WHEREVER. What matter is it if he lives there. You are together.

I would say you so fixated on being in US maybe he is testing you. Maybe you were more focused on the destination instead of the journey. It should not matter whether it be the Moon Mars or US. If he wants to be with you in the Philippines what is wrong with that.

Very good point on why he might not want her coming now.

My own view is her coming might just make things worse, but the round trip tickets idea that one person pointed out might reduce that conflict.

[Ed and Gina 45]

@ dwheels: She has an IR 1 VISA - married to the USC...and has HIS child...I would say that she has a right to deal with the issue face to face...pretty much as she indicated she would. But, that can't be done from over 8000 miles away. "Marriage is first and foremost..." Indeed it is...and just how well do you expect people to solve problems from 1000's of miles away? And, as you pointed out, the whole story isn't there for all of us to see. I don't recall that she isn't wanted. What's to say that there's something that the husband is trying to hide? Nontheless, they ARE married and she DOES have a right to join her husband regardless of whatever issues they've been dealing with...that is part of life. What part of that don't you get? That she has a "parachute" and a plan to work things out either from under their roof or from a base camp with friends - is there something wrong with that?

[belinda63 3,038]

Yes there is something wrong with that. The visa is for the purpose of a USC spouse coming to the US to live with and be a family member with a him. Hence it being a family immigration category. She could get in serious trouble and accused of visa fraud if she comes to the US on a spousal visa and doesn't live with the spouse or make an attempt with the marriage.

[christeen 966]

I would sure want to go there and at the very least see with my own eyes what is going on... If something is fishy with him, she will be able to see it for herself... Legally she has that right with the IR1 visa and oersonally, I would not want to just end things or whatever without making a personal effort to go and see face to face...

[Avery Cates 1,141]

Your visa is for you to immigrate as the spouse of a US citizen.

If the US citizen does not want you here, you have 0 (ZERO) reason to come.

It's really that simple.

[Cathi 5,748]

In your last thread you stated he didn;t want you to come for other reasons...and it wasn't money or tickets...your story has changed. Here is the quote from your last thread in January...

Posted 20 January 2014 - 08:48 AM

He changed his mind because when we had a huge fight i wrote a letter without consulting him to his sister and asked for help if she could help me advise my husband not to swear and spank our toddler child. He got mad because i was not suppose to share our marital issues to his family because we have to settle it on our own. I have spoken to him and apologized about it the other day. He told me he couldnt trust me anymore and couldnt bring me to the us because of what happened. Eversince we got married he has been visiting us 3 to 4x a Year.

Edited March 31, 2014 by mimolicious

[biaobiao 40]

OP i can understand that you want to meet your husband's family, you want his parents to meet their grandchild, you want your family to be together. These are valid reasons. Even i wish for all of these. (My husband can not start the process yet for financial reasons)

But your husband has reasons why he doesnt want you there. You may have step out of line when you shared your problems to your in law (a person you have not before). Marital problems should be settled within family. He visita you, talk to him. Last thing he wants is for someone to meddle with his family...

He visits you 3-4 times a year? Lucky you.

Just please take into consideration that you have a 1yr old child. If you force yourself in buying a ticket, you can do that. Nobody can stop you but what will be your life there? What will happen to your child? Will you work? Who will take care of your child?

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I can understand the people saying that it's a spouse visa and that she shouldn't use it in these circumstances but it's not exactly easy to sort out marital issues through Skype and if her husband is pleading poverty he's unlikely to be flying over to her any time soon.

To the OP, if you have savings like you say why not compromise and pay some of your husbands air fare to visit you so you can discuss your issues much more easily in person and try to work things out with your husband?

[mojorisin 5]

What happens if your visa expires? What is the procedure for getting an extension?