Wedding date forecasts, rather than invitations. Creative approach with question.

[Novembro 1,763]

A lot of people in this thread have completely ignored my question, which is about probabilities.

You literally answered your own question, whether subconsciously or not:

I thoroughly understand the recommendation on the board to not make concrete wedding plans until the visa is in hand. Completely!

It's simple. Don't make plans until you have your visa in hand.

[jaygauss 0]

You literally answered your own question, whether subconsciously or not:

It's simple. Don't make plans until you have your visa in hand.

No, you cannot read very well then because my question was not "when will I be certain about a wedding date."

[Novembro 1,763]

No, you cannot read very well then because my question was not "when will I be certain about a wedding date."

My questions then are how can I determine these percentages? Have any of you done anything like this? I just want a practical understanding of the *probable* situation at each step. The frustrating thing about reading all the posts about wedding planning is the reflexive: DON'T DO IT response. But one can be more creative than that, I think!

No one has "probable" info on your exact case. Sorry. The answer you so disdain isn't given to you just for sh*ts and giggles, it's given to you because so many people before you have tried to do things like this and then gotten screwed.

In the end, it's up to you. Do whatever you want. If it works out for you- great. If it doesn't- well...hate to say we told you so.

[christeen 966]

The probability I see is that

90% you will probably ignore what everyone is saying and bad experiences of others who have done this and set a date anyway,

90% probability there will be future posts from you that express your frustration with the system (taken into account the 20% probability that my post and this thread in general will piss you off enough not to post which drops the probability of panic posts from you to 80%) ...

Depending on the date you subsequently set (despite advice not to set a date until visa is in hand) there is a 30-70% chance you actually will get your visa in time for your wedding, a

50% chance you will actually get late, a

10% chance you will get it early, and

100% chance that the whole process will be frustrating... To Which, by setting concrete dates to a random unpredictable system, you are almost assured of added stress...

But good luck in what you choose

[jaygauss 0]

Again, as I told everyone in my specific case the process being prolonged would not be disastrous. Rather, it would result in a plan B that would be absolutely fine with all involved.

I tried to anticipate these robotic responses in my very first sentence of the first post.

Edited April 2, 2014 by jaygauss

[jaygauss 0]

The probability I see is that

...

Depending on the date you subsequently set (despite advice not to set a date until visa is in hand) there is a 30-70% chance you actually will get your visa in time for your wedding, a

50% chance you will actually get late, a

10% chance you will get it early, and

Thanks, this is what I was looking for. I don't get offended by the snark surrounding it, I am just interested in these honest opinions about how this process plays out. It is useful information, even though I understand people with a bad grasp of probability or too much hopeful thinking get burned by thinking in these terms.

[MC&C 0]

I would say make plans as you want, yet save the date for later when you get the visa in hand. You can start planning all details about your wedding, and once your fiancee gets the visa, all you need is to set the date of your big day!

Good luck!

[LiliBurd 85]

I thoroughly understand the recommendation on the board to not make concrete wedding plans until the visa is in hand. Completely!

However, I would like some practical information about when we can be more and more confident about our date.

- My fiancee and I will have a church wedding. We have spoken to the priest and he has agreed to do a last minute weddding with only a week's notice if necessary.

- We will have a simple reception at a relative's house, but with ~60 people. Thus deposits, etc, are not relevant.

The only relevant consideration to me is the notice I give my guests. We have the following plan A, with a backup plan B:

Plan A: Wedding in Chicago (where most of my family lives). Invite everyone to ceremony and have reception same day at relative's house.

Plan B: Have lightning fast wedding in Minneapolis, invite everyone but expect very few to be able to attend. Have reception a few weeks later.

I plan on issuing a wedding invitation with wedding forecasts. Like when I get the NOA2, I can issue invitations with a "50% chance of wedding on X date". And when we get the interview, we can calibrate the date and issue a 75% chance of wedding. When we get the interview approved, we can say 95%, and so on. With the understanding that everything may collapse and we will go with Plan B.

My questions then are how can I determine these percentages? Have any of you done anything like this? I just want a practical understanding of the *probable* situation at each step. The frustrating thing about reading all the posts about wedding planning is the reflexive: DON'T DO IT response. But one can be more creative than that, I think!

I'm curious to know what you decided to do. I really do understand what you were asking and your concerns. I actually like the idea of wedding forecast. If your guest understand your situation and care about you they should not be annoyed and just go with it.

I am just starting this process and tend to get quite anxious about it. As my Fiance keeps telling me no matter the circumstance this is our special day (he says it's mine cuz I'm a girl and love weddings, but I know he's just as excited about it as I am) and we should have everything we want. I think in our case based on current timelines I will have to postpone the interview in order to get everything in order for when we plan on getting married. Now before everyone freaks out... we have nothing booked right now and will not make anything official until we know for sure.

Just wondering how things worked out for you.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I'm curious to know what you decided to do. I really do understand what you were asking and your concerns. I actually like the idea of wedding forecast. If your guest understand your situation and care about you they should not be annoyed and just go with it.

I am just starting this process and tend to get quite anxious about it. As my Fiance keeps telling me no matter the circumstance this is our special day (he says it's mine cuz I'm a girl and love weddings, but I know he's just as excited about it as I am) and we should have everything we want. I think in our case based on current timelines I will have to postpone the interview in order to get everything in order for when we plan on getting married. Now before everyone freaks out... we have nothing booked right now and will not make anything official until we know for sure.

Just wondering how things worked out for you.

What really is easiest is getting legally married right away and then planning a larger religious and/or family ceremony for a later date and thereby not having to stress about timeframes.

Just my 2 cents on it of course.

[LiliBurd 85]

What really is easiest is getting legally married right away and then planning a larger religious and/or family ceremony for a later date and thereby not having to stress about timeframes.

Just my 2 cents on it of course.

Thank you for your 2 cents lol all opinions and advice are welcomed.

We discussed doing it that way, but we know that we probably wouldn't actually go through with the wedding ceremony afterwards if we went that route. We do not want anything religious, just our friends and family witnessing our union. Everyone is different, to us it means a lot that we celebrate the day we become Mr & Mrs... still feels weird to say that lol.

Edited August 6, 2014 by LiliBurd

[sweetswinks 400]

I'm curious to know what you decided to do. I really do understand what you were asking and your concerns. I actually like the idea of wedding forecast. If your guest understand your situation and care about you they should not be annoyed and just go with it.

I am just starting this process and tend to get quite anxious about it. As my Fiance keeps telling me no matter the circumstance this is our special day (he says it's mine cuz I'm a girl and love weddings, but I know he's just as excited about it as I am) and we should have everything we want. I think in our case based on current timelines I will have to postpone the interview in order to get everything in order for when we plan on getting married. Now before everyone freaks out... we have nothing booked right now and will not make anything official until we know for sure.

Just wondering how things worked out for you.

I'm not the person you asked the question to but I wanted to give my own advice. We filed our petition in January 2014, I have my K1 visa now, we set a wedding date for July 11 2015 (no invitations have gone out yet), but we're getting married September 7th 2014.

So we get the best of both worlds; a small, romantic, and intimate legal ceremony now, and a big wedding later. We waited until I received my passport back to choose the september 7 wedding date. Safest and smartest way of doing it.

[LiliBurd 85]

I'm not the person you asked the question to but I wanted to give my own advice. We filed our petition in January 2014, I have my K1 visa now, we set a wedding date for July 11 2015 (no invitations have gone out yet), but we're getting married September 7th 2014.

So we get the best of both worlds; a small, romantic, and intimate legal ceremony now, and a big wedding later. We waited until I received my passport back to choose the september 7 wedding date. Safest and smartest way of doing it.

First things first Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and wedding!!!

As I mentioned we discussed doing this, but our friends and family live in the USA or Canada, which makes it a relatively short trip and very affordable for them to attend our wedding even with a 3 month notice. We think everything pertaining to my visa would be in order by summer 2015. Getting married in Florida during this season wouldn't be expensive or require too much planning and what we just want a simple wedding. Even though it might be stressful, what I am mostly looking forward too is us starting our lives together. For us, and this is very personal to every couple, we want it to be all at the same time legal and celebration.

But I totally understand if for some couples that is the best way to go. Especially if family and friends cannot make a last minute trip because it's so far away.

Good luck and Congratulations!

[sweetswinks 400]

First things first Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and wedding!!!

As I mentioned we discussed doing this, but our friends and family live in the USA or Canada, which makes it a relatively short trip and very affordable for them to attend our wedding even with a 3 month notice. We think everything pertaining to my visa would be in order by summer 2015. Getting married in Florida during this season wouldn't be expensive or require too much planning and what we just want a simple wedding. Even though it might be stressful, what I am mostly looking forward too is us starting our lives together. For us, and this is very personal to every couple, we want it to be all at the same time legal and celebration.

But I totally understand if for some couples that is the best way to go. Especially if family and friends cannot make a last minute trip because it's so far away.

Good luck and Congratulations!

Thanks very much! Sounds like you already know what you'd like to do. Good luck to you on your visa journey!

[jaygauss 0]

I'm curious to know what you decided to do. I really do understand what you were asking and your concerns. I actually like the idea of wedding forecast. If your guest understand your situation and care about you they should not be annoyed and just go with it.

I am just starting this process and tend to get quite anxious about it. As my Fiance keeps telling me no matter the circumstance this is our special day (he says it's mine cuz I'm a girl and love weddings, but I know he's just as excited about it as I am) and we should have everything we want. I think in our case based on current timelines I will have to postpone the interview in order to get everything in order for when we plan on getting married. Now before everyone freaks out... we have nothing booked right now and will not make anything official until we know for sure.

Just wondering how things worked out for you.

We bought the plane tickets after the application arrived at the embassy for two months in. Everything went smoothly. We planned the wedding assuming we had the visa and announced it to everyone 5 weeks before, when we knew everything was solid. The wedding is this Sunday, so everything has been great.

[LiliBurd 85]

Oh good! Congratulations hope you have a great wedding!