My wife is having an affair after being married for 4 years

[Caryh 5,206]

Yes she has been coming and going as she pleases.She has the new car,makes no household,car,insurance payments.And is still sleeping in his bed.Doing what she wants when she wants.We have a joint counseling apt.on Friday.Say's she'll try to my parents with no emotion.The week she spent away from me was with him.How can you go through counseling to save the marriage when your living with him.

You know what you need to do. When you get off that ledge, things can start getting better.

[Kolewenoik31 57]

There ya go … pray and Jesus will sort it all out for you.

My ex spent more time talking to Jesus than she did her lawyer … she got the divorce she wanted, but that was about it. No support. No kids. No house. I'm betting her chat buddy didn't approve of her extramarital affairs and harsh treatment of the children.

Unnecessary for you to even address my response. Stick to supporting the OP thank you!

[Asia 2,498]

Unnecessary for you to even address my response. Stick to supporting the OP thank you!

I think he just wanted to say that praying and talking to Jesus shouldn't be the ONLY thing the OP should do.

[jyaku 138]

Been there done that and I'll tell u one thing right now..

Women don't respect doormats. They use them. And some are better at it than others especially Pinays. They are masters at spotting Captain Save-A-Ho and acting out the fantasy to get what they want till they can't take it anymore or they have what they really want and the showing they never respected them.

They respect guys who don't take 1 ounce of bad behavior. How do I know? I used to be a nice guy like you. I was stepped on a woman just like you. I left. I replaced her a woman I don't take any from and guess what.. the first one wants to come back and starts being all nice and stuff.

The best thing I ever did.. was realize I can't forgive, I can't forget but I can say NEXT and replace her. They don't like that and come beg u for forgiveness. Then it's up to you but for me that door was long closed.

Best of luck.. hope u come to your senses without the emotional bs.. I know it's hard.. especially after 4 years but you gotta come to your senses.

[VOL 425]

Drop her, Once she leaves she will always.

Try to get her back home to Philippines and let her Father or Brother deal the pain to her

If she is from broken family, then get the best deal you can get from her, spend on lawyer and get references, and take the kid and tell her to pack sand.....

[John&Juvy 36]

Very selfish of her. Ask your self if you and your daughter deserve this from her ? Does she worth to have a second chance ? But I am hoping that you are not going to tolerate her sh*t. What you allow is what will only continue. I feel bad with your daughter :-(.

Edited April 6, 2014 by John&Juvy

[Emily and Nathan 39]

Is there a "beating a dead horse" section this forum can be moved to? Yeesh.

[mamaSue 38]

Mick~Jen, on 02 Apr 2014 - 09:33 AM, said:

Yes she has been coming and going as she pleases.She has the new car,makes no household,car,insurance payments.And is still sleeping in his bed.Doing what she wants when she wants.We have a joint counseling apt.on Friday.Say's she'll try to my parents with no emotion.The week she spent away from me was with him.How can you go through counseling to save the marriage when your living with him.

I was cheated on by my (now ex) husband for 2 years, and didn't know a thing about it. (It was with by 'best friend' .

I packed his stuff and put him out the same day.... he wanted to come back after 3 weeks. Although we'd had 29 years together...I couldn't take him back....all trust was lost, and I didn't want to spend the rest of my life wondering where he was if he was late home, etc.

Mick....the best you can do is get a good lawyer, and fight for custody of your little one....she deserves to have a peaceful and stress-free life, which I can't see happening if you and her mother continue the way you are.

I wish you all the best for the future.

BTW.....your daughter looks adorable!!!

[mike56427 6]

...this is totally the best advice so far in this thread ...

Been there done that and I'll tell u one thing right now..

Women don't respect doormats. They use them. And some are better at it than others especially Pinays. They are masters at spotting Captain Save-A-Ho and acting out the fantasy to get what they want till they can't take it anymore or they have what they really want and the showing they never respected them.

They respect guys who don't take 1 ounce of bad behavior. How do I know? I used to be a nice guy like you. I was stepped on a woman just like you. I left. I replaced her a woman I don't take any ###### from and guess what.. the first one wants to come back and starts being all nice and stuff.

The best thing I ever did.. was realize I can't forgive, I can't forget but I can say NEXT and replace her. They don't like that and come beg u for forgiveness. Then it's up to you but for me that door was long closed.

Best of luck.. hope u come to your senses without the emotional bs.. I know it's hard.. especially after 4 years but you gotta come to your senses.

[Ron&Wenwen 7]

If you read my first post on this topic when Mick first posted, I was very careful and understanding of his feelings:

All I was saying is that there are always two sides to every story and its strange that all of this has happened, but

we only has his side of the story. Many are passing judgment on his wife without knowing (Let me say it again)

the complete story or his wife side of the story. He could be a wife beater and his wife could be just a plain cheater.

Posted 27 March 2014 - 11:13 PM

I totally understand your pain and how you truly feel. Unless someone has really experienced this shock to the system, no one can truly feel you pain.

My first wife from China also cheated on me after 4 years of marriage. I was hurt, mad, angry and wanted to send her back to China, but really after

such a long time being here, there is nothing USCIS or immigration can do. I do highly recommend that you contact USCIS and figure out what you

need to do to remove the affidavit of support. From a visa or immigration point of view, this is your only course to cover yourself moving forward if you

decide to file for divorce.

On a personal note, everything you are feeling, the hurt and anger will go away sooner or later. Please focus on your child and her well being. You must

continue to be the loving father I suspect you are.

What got me through my ex-wife cheating was to find forgiveness in your heart for her. I know you love her and want to be with her, but in your mind you

will always wonder. Sometimes in life, it is better to let some things go.

I am truly sorry for your pain and heartbreak. I wish you the very best moving forward on whatever you decide to go.

Good Luck,

Ron

[Ron&Wenwen 7]

To all that did not like my post, that is fine. Yes it was a little harsh and I don't care if you report my post. This is a country of free speech.

Maybe if you gave Mick's wife some consideration as well, that would be nice. I don't see how anyone can come 100% on one persons

side without knowing the complete facts.

I will in fact retract one statement. I should not have said you were lying, but rather (There is more to this story) We will never hear from his

wife on this matter, but she also deserves some consideration.

[TBoneTX 45,273]

One post and some quotes of it have been removed; the language was overly assaultive. Bluntness is fine if it contains no personal attacks. Thanks for everyone's awareness and cooperation.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

If you read my first post on this topic when Mick first posted, I was very careful and understanding of his feelings:

All I was saying is that there are always two sides to every story and its strange that all of this has happened, but

we only has his side of the story. Many are passing judgment on his wife without knowing (Let me say it again)

the complete story or his wife side of the story. He could be a wife beater and his wife could be just a plain cheater.

Posted 27 March 2014 - 11:13 PM

I totally understand your pain and how you truly feel. Unless someone has really experienced this shock to the system, no one can truly feel you pain.

My first wife from China also cheated on me after 4 years of marriage. I was hurt, mad, angry and wanted to send her back to China, but really after

such a long time being here, there is nothing USCIS or immigration can do. I do highly recommend that you contact USCIS and figure out what you

need to do to remove the affidavit of support. From a visa or immigration point of view, this is your only course to cover yourself moving forward if you

decide to file for divorce.

On a personal note, everything you are feeling, the hurt and anger will go away sooner or later. Please focus on your child and her well being. You must

continue to be the loving father I suspect you are.

What got me through my ex-wife cheating was to find forgiveness in your heart for her. I know you love her and want to be with her, but in your mind you

will always wonder. Sometimes in life, it is better to let some things go.

I am truly sorry for your pain and heartbreak. I wish you the very best moving forward on whatever you decide to go.

Good Luck,

Ron

Yes, I saw your post before I commented and am still shocked how you could go from that to this.

I am sure it took a little while to get yourself together after your own failed marriage.

Everyone reacts differently and him writing what he wants to write and what he feels does not make him a bad person worthy of suffering emotional pain. It does however help gain perspective and insight to write about it, whether he takes given advice or not.

Let the OP go at his own pace and I am sure he will in time make the right decision that is best for him and his daughter.

Even IF he had cheated and wronged her , two wrongs don't make a right and it by no means justifies her behavior.

In that case she should have gotten a divorce and moved on with transparency as a role model for her daughter.

We can only respond with respect directly to what anyone posts and to the extend to what someone allows us to know about their situation,

we can politely ask questions but must refrain from judgmental speculation based attacks.

Saying someone needs to step it up and get courage can be said in a hundred different ways, yours was very hurtful and inappropriate to an already chaotic situation. He is still in shock and feels like someone hit him over the head with a base ball bat I am sure.

[Ron&Wenwen 7]

I guess I should be lucky that my March 27th post was not removed. I understand the language was harsh and I apologize for some of my words and semi-personal attack on Mick.

[Ron&Wenwen 7]

@ Ebunoluwa

Point well made and understood.