My wife is having an affair after being married for 4 years

[Mckenziemick 2]

We've been married since January 16th 2010.Visa Journey was a great help with my own processing of all the legal papers.We were blessed with a beautiful baby girl one year later.

My Daughter three years old now.My wife started working at the end of April 2013.I was so proud of her to have her first ever job.This past Saturday I receive a phone call from a unknown person stating the my wife was having a relation ship with her co-worker.And had been since November 2013.I had suspected something was going on since about then with her not coming home several nights after going out with her friends.Needless to say my life is turned upside down now.I'm posting here to see if anyone knows if there are any Immigration laws about an affair.This is a huge mess I'm in.I love my wife so much and I'm deeply hurting inside.I want my family back.My main concern here is to protect Daughters stability with me.Please advise me if possible.Thank you

[HK12 273]

How credible is that "unknown person"? Have you confronted your wife about it and has she admitted to it?

[poolbruce 22]

find out the truth, get proof. If it is true hire a lawyer

[Pitaya 2,577]

Agree with HK12. You need to broach the topic with your spouse.

Where are you in the immigration process? AOS, ROC, N-400 ?? It will help other forum members to give focused responses relative to your immigration situation.

[kzielu 1,149]

Assumming your wife has unconditional green card, there is nothing about immigration in your issue. If she truly have an affair, file for divorce. There's nothing you can do about her immigration status and if it happened after 4 years, there's likehood she did marry you in good faith. Higher divorce lawyer so you don't get screwed and move on.

[Caryh 5,206]

There are no immigration laws over an affair. If you divorce, then it can affect how she can apply for certain things and when. Sounds like you've probably already have gone through adjusting status and probably ROC. Unless she's already gotten citizenship, the divorce could delay when she could file. You're still on the hook for the I-864. I wouldn't worry about the immigration side, thats her problem not yours, except the affidavit of support. USCIS does not care if someone is unfaithful and cheats.

What is going to matter more to you is the divorce laws in your state, if you're choosing to divorce.

[Mckenziemick 2]

Yes I've confronted her ,this unknown caller was his mother-in-law ,I'm sorry I didn't state that in my post I am in contact with his wife and they as well have a 4 year old.My wife and him are in a photo together in his facebook page.This is going on and has been for months.I have proof from his wife with all the texts and phone calls since November.and multiple photos together.I have a lawyer already but I'm confused to file because I still love her with all my heart.She told me yesterday she wanted space to think about it for a week.I told her she can't keep seeing him and then showing up here at the house when ever she feels like it.I don't want to lose my wife ,I'm torn as hell.I guess my question here is not about the green card but my liability of still havign to support her since she has created this affair

She has her Green card

[Mckenziemick 2]

Please excuse me for not filling in my timeline,,she is a permanent resident now.

So what you're saying is I still have to support her how long.We've been married 4 years she's been working for almost one year.

The I-134 is what I filled

[Ben + Michelle 9]

before you think about divorce, talk with her, openly. If it is true and why it happened. Maybe there is enough love on both sides to safe your marriage. I wish you all the best.

[Caryh 5,206]

Please excuse me for not filling in my timeline,,she is a permanent resident now.

So what you're saying is I still have to support her how long.We've been married 4 years she's been working for almost one year.

The I-134 is what I filled

Your affidavit of support agreement would have came when you filed the I-864 when she adjusted her status. The I-134 was the affidavit of support used for the 90 days after she entered on the K-1. The I-864 says you agree to pay back any means tested benefits she gets from the government until she has worked 40 qualifying quarters. This is not a document that say you must support her in the event you divorce. Although some have attempted to use it in divorce court that way, mostly they've been unsuccessful.

Divorce court, alimony, child support, visitation is all controlled by state laws and rules. Those are the rules and precedent that are going to determine who gets what, and if you have to pay any support.

Your profile says you live in Oregon, this will help you start to understand your divorce options.

http://courts.oregon.gov/ojd/osca/cpsd/courtimprovement/familylaw/pages/FL_Divorce.aspx

Edited March 27, 2014 by Caryh

[Mckenziemick 2]

Yes that's right ,I have talked to my lawyer ,and there is a no fault cause in Oregon.SO looks like the Affair means nothing other than my heartbreak

Thanks everyone for your support.

[ashleyphilly 70]

How about trying seeing a therapist together?

[Mckenziemick 2]

before you think about divorce, talk with her, openly. If it is true and why it happened. Maybe there is enough love on both sides to safe your marriage. I wish you all the best.

Yes we've talked but she is confrontational ,it is true she admits it and tells me why,My little girl is in play here and I am scared about all this and what may come ahead

[Mckenziemick 2]

How about trying seeing a therapist together?

That is where I left it yesterday with her,she tells me she is going to have some space for a week and think.

If nothing comes of that it's me that needs to talk all this out with someone.

[novedsac 355]

You need to determine whether this is something you can get past with your wife or not. Some can. Some cannot.

If you go for a divorce, you will be better served by putting your hurt/anger/etc on tha back burner and proceed with the legalities in a stable state of mind. If she admits to an affair which leads to the breakdown of the marriage, then you have a very good chance of not paying spousal support. Child custody and support are an entirely different matter. You need to think carefully about what is best for the child - not you or your wife - but the child, then proceed accordingly.

Edited March 27, 2014 by novedsac