Booze Or No Booze? That is the Question

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Setup =

My wife and I are planning a celebratory dinner party. We are the 1's celebrating. We are compiling a list of guests suited to this occasion. We notice none of the planned guests are "drinkers". (sure, they might enjoy a glass of Wine or a cold Beer but) None of them hit the hard stuff...except 1.

This "1" dude is a very nice guy...good conversationalist...intelligent & demonstrates a proper amount of humility and courtesy. He is the kinda guy = makes other people feel good about themselves ...But...he drinks like a Fish. He is without a doubt - an active alcoholic. He holds his liquor well & even when he has a buzz - no trouble at all. In fact - he actually gets more mellow. That is...more mellow to every1 ...except his wife.

The more alcohol he consumes = the more he scrutinizes his wife's behavior = he micro manages her every move = she starts to lose patience = ....you know what comes next. They don't make a scene or anything but the room mood gets a little tense & every1 starts fidgeting / creating diversions to draw his attention away from her.

Options =

Simple solution - leave them off the invite list. Well...that's a problem. Last time we did that = She (the alcoholic's wife) expressed hurt feelings (to my wife) & it stressed the friendship for a while.

Invite them & deal with it - Our other guests will not dig it. He will be the only one getting drunk & we all know what it's like to be sober and hanging with a drunk...

OR (this is our preference) -

Invite & Offer nothing - not even Wine or Beer.

Dilemma =

Now...my wife and I aren't having an argument - rather - we are having a "discussion".

1) I think we should tell the alcoholic - up front - you are invited but be aware - NO BOOZE.

2) My wife thinks - We don't have to tell him anything. It's our invitation. It's our Home. It's our choice - Booze or No Booze. He don't like it = Too Bad.

So what do you think?

A) Booze or No Booze?

B) Tell him or let him fly blind and dry?

We can and will work this out but.. I think it might be fun to get input from the diverse VJ population. & it might be a flop but ...what the heck - won't know until I post it.

Thanks for taking time to read and Thanks in advance for feedback!

Edited March 22, 2014 by Crashed~N2~Me

[luckytxn 2,264]

Your home, your party, you make the rules. You do have to accommadate to a point but say no hard liquor and if a problem then don't come.

Setup =

My wife and I are planning a celebratory dinner party. We are the 1's celebrating. We are compiling a list of guests suited to this occasion. We notice none of the planned guests are "drinkers". (sure, they might enjoy a glass of Wine or a cold Beer but) None of them hit the hard stuff...except 1.

This "1" dude is a very nice guy...good conversationalist...intelligent & demonstrates a proper amount of humility and courtesy. He is the kinda guy = makes other people feel good about themselves ...But...he drinks like a Fish. He is without a doubt - an active alcoholic. He holds his liquor well & even when he has a buzz - no trouble at all. In fact - he actually gets more mellow. That is...more mellow to every1 ...except his wife.

The more alcohol he consumes = the more he scrutinizes his wife's behavior = he micro manages her every move = she starts to lose patience = ....you know what comes next. They don't make a scene or anything but the room mood gets a little tense & every1 starts fidgeting / creating diversions to draw his attention away from her.

Options =

Simple solution - leave them off the invite list. Well...that's a problem. Last time we did that = She (the alcoholic's wife) expressed hurt feelings (to my wife) & it stressed the friendship for a while.

Invite them & deal with it - Our other guests will not dig it. He will be the only one getting drunk & we all know what it's like to be sober and hanging with a drunk...

OR (this is my wife's preference) -

Invite & Offer nothing - not even Wine or Beer.

Dilemma =

Now...my wife and I aren't having an argument - rather - we are having a "discussion".

1) I think we should tell the alcoholic - up front - you are invited but be aware - NO BOOZE.

2) My wife thinks - We don't have to tell him anything. It's our invitation. It's our Home. It's our choice - Booze or No Booze. He don't like it = Too Bad.

So what do you think?

A) Booze or No Booze?

B) Tell him or let him fly blind and dry?

We can and will work this out but.. I think it might be fun to get input from the diverse VJ population. & it might be a flop but ...what the heck - won't know until I post it.

Thanks for taking time to read and Thanks in advance for feedback!

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Your home, your party, you make the rules. You do have to accommadate to a point but say no hard liquor and if a problem then don't come.

So tell him in advance - it's a non - alcoholic event...?

[luckytxn 2,264]

I have one friend and he is not allowed to drink at my home but everyone else can. He accepts it and comes anyway.

So tell him in advance - it's a non - alcoholic event...?

[Novembro 1,763]

Didn't read- always booze.

[Pooky 3,784]

Make the occasion non-alcoholic and let him know beforehand. Then, he can decide whether or not he wants to attend for the food and company alone.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

I have one friend and he is not allowed to drink at my home but everyone else can. He accepts it and comes anyway.

That's my hope. Thanks for feedback.

Didn't read- always booze.

Vote counted. Thanks!

Make the occasion non-alcoholic and let him know beforehand. Then, he can decide whether or not he wants to attend for the food and company alone.

That's my leaning. Thanks for feedback!

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

So what do you think?

A) No Booze!

B) I would never expect "host" to tell me whether there'd be booze or not. Soooo… as a "host", my vote is, NO! Don't Tell him.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

A) No Booze!

B) I would never expect "host" to tell me whether there'd be booze or not. Soooo… as a "host", my vote is, NO! Don't Tell him.

Sweetheart -

A) I agree = No Booze.

B)

[Pooky 3,784]

Uh oh.

I think it's time for everyone else to depart gracefully

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Uh oh.

I think it's time for everyone else to depart gracefully

Nah - it's still open for discussion. I haven't thrown in the towel on this one - yet.

[Pooky 3,784]

Nah - it's still open for discussion. I haven't thrown in the towel on this one - yet.

You are still young, and your optimism is to be applauded.

But I have been married a while now, and you need to believe me when I tell you that this discussion is over.

Edited March 22, 2014 by Pooky

[spookyturtle 9,465]

I say tell him ahead of time and let him decide whether he wants to come or not. If he asks you why, I'd lay it on the line and tell him he's a fvcking lush and disrupts the mood of the party when he lets the alcohol get the best of him. Learn how to handle your booze or don't drink. And then maybe slug him in the gut to prove your point.

All joking aside, I'd tell him ahead of time and if he asks why I'd explain what happens when he drinks to excess and it make everyone uncomfortable. He needs to be accountable for his own behavior. Don't let the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

You are still young, and your optimism is to be applauded.

But I have been married a while now, and you need to believe me when I tell you that this discussion is over.

..I know ...but I did seek & was granted clearance to start this thread which means there is still hope...

...wait. ..maybe that was just a self esteem booster = let me think = I put up a good fight and still have voting stock.

Yep...It's over. Well...at least I'm loved.

[sharky-rex 76]

Where I'm from it's custom to give something to your host, and quite often it's a bottle of something or other. From what I've seen that's not uncommon in the US either. Is there danger of him showing up with an unwelcome gift if unaware?