sole custody

[mtlguy 59]

Hello everyone,

My wife and I are at the NVC stage now. I'm going over all the required documents for the next phase and apparently I need some help/advice with respect to one issue: my sole custody of the kids.

Long story short, I have sole custody of my kids here in Canada. The court order reads: sole custody to the father and access rights to the mother agreed amicably between the parents.

Before she left my ex gave a notarized letter allowing me to travel freely outside of Canada with the children. At the time I had no intention of moving to the states.

Fast forward a bit, I met my USC wife, got married, had her become a Canadian permanent resident, then for family reasons, we decided to move to the US to be closer to her family and kids.

Meanwhile (back at the farm) my ex was not involved with our kids for more than 2 years. So in essence, she didn't exercise her access rights. not even phone calls or emails on the kids' birthdays. Just recently, she decided to re-surface and reach out to the kids. The children have mixed feeling about her (can't blame them).

Before I started this whole process, and while my ex was unreachable (had no idea where she was) I had sent the Montreal Consulate an email describing my situation and asking their advise about the custody issue. They said what I have (sole custody order & notarized letter) should be enough.

Now what I am compiling all the documents for the NVC stage, I did more research and found out that the Consulate wants to see these exact words on the sole custody order: "sole custody to the father, and NO ACCESS to the mother", which clearly is NOT what I have on my order.

Furthermore, the notarized letter I have from her is quite generic: stating that I can travel to wherever I want with the kids, but does not specifically say "Immigrate to the US".

What do you guys think I should do? Go back to court and ask a judge modify my custody order?

Asking for a consent letter from my ex is out of the question. Sadly, she recently embraced some fanatic views and declared the western hemisphere a place for infidels. So going down this route is kind of fruitless.

Any thoughts? anyone in the same predicament as I am ?

Cheers.

[decocker 7,198]

since the wording on your custody order isn't verbatim, i would get the judge to revise so it meets the consulate's requirements.

[Sweetcheeksss 91]

I personally had this exact same problem except my ex had NOTHING to do with our child for 16 years. You read that right, SIXTEEN years. At our interview, the officer took the opportunity to ask if my son had seen his father (to which he replied that he had never met him, ever). Even after that, we were given a paper that stated we had to get his custody papers updated to say "sole custody with NO access to other parent' OR a notarized letter. My immigration path stopped completely until I provided the updated custody order. Good luck!

[mtlguy 59]

I personally had this exact same problem except my ex had NOTHING to do with our child for 16 years. You read that right, SIXTEEN years. At our interview, the officer took the opportunity to ask if my son had seen his father (to which he replied that he had never met him, ever). Even after that, we were given a paper that stated we had to get his custody papers updated to say "sole custody with NO access to other parent' OR a notarized letter. My immigration path stopped completely until I provided the updated custody order. Good luck!

Yikes.

Well I do have a notarized letter from her dated the year she left. The letter says I can travel outside Canada all over the world. Would that be sufficient?

I wish there's a way for my documents to be reviewed before the interview phase.

Out of curiosity, how long did it take you to get the updated custody order?

[Sweetcheeksss 91]

There's really no way to tell, it all depends on the officer that interviews you. My interviewer said they are being overly cautious because of the fear of "parental kidnapping". Even though my ex had NO contact, no phone calls, cards, visits, NOTHING for 16 years and my own son told him that he didn't even know his father the officer told me without that exact wording OR the notarized letter saying we could move to the US, they would put our immigration on hold.

It took me a month to get stuff straightened out. Had to run an add in major city newspapers (Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto, Winnipeg, Edmonton, Vancouver) stating my intent to go to court and I had to prove to the family court judge that I had tried to find my ex.

It sucked.

[Lemonslice 4,841]

Also, if you do get in touch with their mom and their passports are to be renewed... do it now - Passport Canada will still want the other parent to sign and approve the application, even when you live in different countries (plus it's cheaper when in Canada)

[mtlguy 59]

Not really for the passports. I renewed the kids' passports without the need for her signature or her presence.

At the time of the application I provided them with the custody papers, and the divorce paper trail. it took one extra week for them to review the documentation, and the passports were issued without a glitch.