The Rainbow Rant (now with Unicorns)

[SAT 9,609]

Want jada snacks....horse 'overs

[JTB11 1,079]

more often than not people get married (so I have noticed) because they don't see any other way how they could simply date

since they are so far apart....that is where that rash move becomes the only option since you are (general you) at that point of being all in love and blind and really want to be together...I am pretty sure if many couples got to live in the same area or country even ...they would probably not marry until later or at all.... it is hard to see in the immediate situation that things might be a little too difficult...the alternative being breaking up.

[Caryh 5,206]

more often than not people get married (so I have noticed) because they don't see any other way how they could simply date

since they are so far apart....that is where that rash move becomes the only option since you are (general you) at that point of being all in love and blind and really want to be together...I am pretty sure if many couples got to live in the same area or country even ...they would probably not marry until later or at all.... it is hard to see in the immediate situation that things might be a little too difficult...the alternative being breaking up.

Which is why it doesn't surprise me that some couples fall apart so fast once they're together.

[JTB11 1,079]

Which is why it doesn't surprise me that some couples fall apart so fast once they're together.

indeed. I now get it more than ever lol

[Caryh 5,206]

indeed. I now get it more than ever lol

If I wasn't aware of how moody my wife can be before she came here, I would have sent her back within the first year. But after knowing her for ten years before she came, I was well aware of this and accepted it as just part of her.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I am sure one should have some criteria in mind even before deciding whether to date the person or not?

Or am I being too rational/calculative here?

If I wasn't aware of how moody my wife can be before she came here, I would have sent her back within the first year. But after knowing her for ten years before she came, I was well aware of this and accepted it as just part of her.

Will she come to US with you, if you have told her that she is going to be a slave to support you while you do nothing sitting at home?

[Caryh 5,206]

I am sure one should have some criteria in mind even before deciding whether to date the person or not?

Or am I being too rational/calculative here?

Will she come to US with you, if you have told her that she is going to be a slave to support you while you do nothing sitting at home?

You're being too rational.

She wanted me to come there and she'd support me while I sat at home. She'd still do that tomorrow if I would say yes to it.

[JTB11 1,079]

I am sure one should have some criteria in mind even before deciding whether to date the person or not?

Or am I being too rational/calculative here?

Will she come to US with you, if you have told her that she is going to be a slave to support you while you do nothing sitting at home?

that has always been my problem...mainly because whenever I chose to date someone I would be told "he is not good enough, he is not making enough money"....I wanted to believe the romantic notion of love conquers all and was prepared to take care of him to be honest no questions asked.

I believed that when tables are turned, as they would be upon my arrival, he would be prepared to do the same and believed him when he said he would. He was not ready for it and I realized very quickly that I would spend the rest of my life being his support and being extremely alone when I needed him to step up and always, always would be second to his family .....he would not side with me no matter how right I was.

Again....in my case...I really do not blame him...as the adult in this relationship and someone who has had more experience...I should have seen it...or should have been aware enough to see it. I decided not to because I wanted to be happy with a person who..believe it or not...treated me the best out of all of my bfs. I have learned my lesson...hopefully.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

You're being too rational.

She wanted me to come there and she'd support me while I sat at home. She'd still do that tomorrow if I would say yes to it.

Is it out of love for you or just for green card?

I'm sure you somehow meet your wife's criteria before she decided to keep you no matter what.

I have criteria before I decide to date someone

examples:

1) Stable job/income

2) Drive to succeed in life

3) Maturity, able to communicate with each other

4) Independent

Having a stable job/income is very important to me.

If he can't support himself, I am better off staying in Singapore, enjoying my life and food, and vacationing around the world with my friends.

that has always been my problem...mainly because whenever I chose to date someone I would be told "he is not good enough, he is not making enough money"....I wanted to believe the romantic notion of love conquers all and was prepared to take care of him to be honest no questions asked.

I believed that when tables are turned, as they would be upon my arrival, he would be prepared to do the same and believed him when he said he would. He was not ready for it and I realized very quickly that I would spend the rest of my life being his support and being extremely alone when I needed him to step up and always, always would be second to his family .....he would not side with me no matter how right I was.

Again....in my case...I really do not blame him...as the adult in this relationship and someone who has had more experience...I should have seen it...or should have been aware enough to see it. I decided not to because I wanted to be happy with a person who..believe it or not...treated me the best out of all of my bfs. I have learned my lesson...hopefully.

I believe in fairy tales, happy endings.. but the prince charming must still have money to support me.

To add on, Jada, I hope you learn to love yourself too

I am trying to love myself more by online shopping lately, have been neglecting myself too much. What's the point of earning money when I don't spend it on myself

Edited April 8, 2014 by Merrytooth

[Asia 2,498]

- he wants to also go out to restaurants with me because it might be fun but not with people - but I need to research places in Columbus, tell him i want to go and ask his parents if they can drive us and then he will go - I guess that works.

1. Is he ashamed of you or himself, since he wants to go with you only?

2. Who's expected to pay for those events?

3. So finding a place to go is your job? He doesn't want to make any effort?

4. And you have to ask his parents too? Oh, how gracious he is

And about the excercise... Do you want to kill him? All that thinking might be too much to bear

OMG I'm so mean...

[Caryh 5,206]

Is it out of love for you or just for green card?

I'm sure you somehow meet your wife's criteria before she decided to keep you no matter what.

I have criteria before I decide to date someone

examples:

1) Stable job/income

2) Drive to succeed in life

3) Maturity, able to communicate with each other

4) Independent

Having a stable job/income is very important to me.

If he can't support himself, I am better off staying in Singapore, enjoying my life and food, and vacationing around the world with my friends.

My wife does not like living in the USA at all. Part of why we knew each other for ten years before she came here, is because she refused to leave the Philippines. Nah, it wasn't for a green card.

Sure I met her most important criteria, I wasn't Filipino. She saw most Filipinos as being womanizers, cheaters and not romantic. She also didn't trust that they were not just after her money to. She may have had a list of things, she's never divulged it to me besides the not being Filipino part. She actually had many Filipino suitors that would attempt to court her the entire time she was with me, and I'm quite sure before to.

[Asia 2,498]

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d69/janabaslik/trees_zpsbac150f4.jpg

road to where my sister lives.

Looks pretty

This is what I sent my wife.

I don't have any more +1's

[Caryh 5,206]

OMG I'm so mean...

You'll be the perfect New Yorker when you get here.

I don't have any more +1's

Dang Tarklar sucking up all the +1's because he's a moderator

[Asia 2,498]

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Twice-Baked-Sweet-Potatoes-with-Bacon-Sesame-Brittle-394716

making that for Sunday.

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Garlic-Knots-1222208

and that

and

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Sweet-and-Sour-Eggplant-231981

and one more

I really, REALLY hope it would be appreciated

[Darnell 8,478]

ok j, so there was another meeting of the holy congregation,

the sermon was given,

and yer waiting to see if the congregation was 'moved enough' by the sermon to take action and facilitate change.

Got it.

You've the patience of job, but at some point (as you've said) you cannot wait for lifestyle fulfillment any further.

I think mostly, a marriage between two folk of different classes/castes can work, if effort is made. IMO (and others), he's not exhibited any effort, much less any change. repeated for emphasis: I blame his parents for creating him and enabling his lack of effort.

Still, good on you for making the final final posit. I'll give a modicum of hope, thinking that all humans are capable of snapping out of their cesspool when confronted with a life-changing decision.