Abused wife please help

[Ketsuban 1,034]

Please prioritise your kids' safety over their immigration status.

[2ndMessiah 184]

She doesn't need to go to the Philippines to escape abuse.

Just leave the house you share with him and then seek help. You should be fine.

Your absolutely right, she does not have to go back to the Philippines to escape abuse.

But as usual we are only hearing one side of the story. It is not uncommon for immigrants from high fraud countries to cry abuse after green-card is in hand. A distasteful but true fact.

If this woman and her children are truly being abused then yes she should leave asap, get all the legal, moral and physiological help possible for her and her children. We assume the only reason she came to the US was to be with her USC spouse and a better life for her and her offspring. That life obviously didn't happen, so we suggested that they return to the Philippines. A place far away from the abuse, back with her family for support. I cannot imagine how i would cope in a foreign country with kids and being abused by the one who was meant to love and support me.

Edited March 13, 2014 by 2ndMessiah

[Blah123 2]

Yes we are moving out tonight that is what im doing first. I understand that people could be skeptical about this because of the high percentage of frauds. I am emotionally drained and im currently seeking help from my friends. I dont know if i should file a restraining order or not because he said he will hunt us down anywhere even if we go home to the philippines.

[Darnell 8,479]

please reread post 4 and 5.

[ean 10]

Seek help from the Philippine embassy. They will assist you from there.

[ManCharsey 254]

Whether or not you moved here because you were married to him does not mean he can abuse you or does not mean you have to go back if that marriage failed. If I were you -

1. Report him to the police. I would move out of the house or file a restraining order against him and get him to be moved out.

2. Buy a gun and protect yourself and your kids.

3. Report any further incidents like threats etc to the police.

And of course if you have proof you don't have to worry about when you are removing conditions. Just show proof that you married in good faith and that marriage failed because of your husbands stupidity. It happens quite frequently and immigration officers know that. The US has one of the highest divorce rates in the world..and you would be amazed at some of the reasons. So don't worry about it.

Edited March 14, 2014 by ManCharsey

[novedsac 355]

Seek help from the Philippine embassy. They will assist you from there.

I wouldn't count on much help from the embassy.

[2ndMessiah 184]

@ManCharsey. I never said she HAD to go back to the Phillipines.

From a support point of view, this unfortunate woman and her children are in a very difficult position. She stated all her family are in the Phillipines. She has no real support here in the US. Yes she can report him to the Police and get restraining orders etc but ultimately family and real support are in the Phillipines.

I agree with you about reporting him to the police. Move house etc. All good advice.

Buying a gun. Are you seriously suggesting a mentally exhausted, frightened woman buy a gun. All that will result in, is a news report of a shooting and injury and or death of people/children.

Edited March 14, 2014 by 2ndMessiah

[novedsac 355]

Yes we are moving out tonight that is what im doing first. I understand that people could be skeptical about this because of the high percentage of frauds. I am emotionally drained and im currently seeking help from my friends. I dont know if i should file a restraining order or not because he said he will hunt us down anywhere even if we go home to the philippines.

So, you believe his threat to 'hunt us down anywhere even if we go home to the philippines' … and you don't want to do something about it?

Very strange.

Very easy to obtain a temporary restraining order … you can do it yourself at the courthouse … they're practically free for the asking with even the most shaky reasons proffered. You'll have to return in front of the judge to prove your case if you want it made permanent and enforceable.

If you're really in danger and have minor children, best to have him removed from the home, at least temporarily, and seek additional guidance from a women's shelter or legal aid for domestic violence victims or some such organization locally. You need local advice who understand how to navigate the local system in order to provide you the most effective support.

Buying a gun. Are you seriously suggesting a mentally exhausted, frightened woman buy a gun. All that will result in, is a news report of a shooting and injury and or death of people/children.

Agreed … this is poor advice … the odds are it'll cause more harm and good.

[Natanloupan 11]

I noticed your in Tampa Florida . I am going to private message you with a phone number . Its to a Fil Am store , but the owner is very nice and might be able to help you get away from the situation . Find you a home with Filipinos maybe to stay with for now until you resolve the situation . She knows a lot about immigration and things like that and might be able to help you there as well . Good to get in touch with someone who speaks your own language for at least some comfort if nothing else .

Edited March 14, 2014 by Natanloupan

[Me_Theo 25]

Don't trust the people giving phone number or address from internet. Don't make another problem for yourself and your kids. Just call the police ask for help.

[Blah123 2]

I just called the cops and the security around my neighborhood because my husband wont let me leave and get my stuff out of the house. It was terrible. Im at my friends house now with my kids. I dont care about my kids immigration status i just want us to be safe and be far away from him

[Sandra G. 5,079]

We have hundreds of shelters for victims of domestic violence in this Country, no need to ask help for people you never met in your life. You will have social workers, counselors to talk there. Get a restraining order against him and file a police report regarding the physical abuse as well.Do not disclose any information through facebook, do not contact any person who knows him.Do not answer his phone calls, do not meet him up.Tell your family in Philippines not to answer his phone calls anymore.DO NOT DISCLOSE with anyone where you are, not even with your relatives, just say with a friend or in a shelter, if the case, because sometimes you comment with one of your friends in Philippines where you are, and then your husband can find out through mutual friends your location,no need to disclose about that ok.

Edited March 14, 2014 by sandranj

[Scott & Kaye 32]

If I had a family abuse situation at my house this is the last place I would look or post for immediate assistance to protect my family. Just Saying!

[jsjs 10]

Seek help from the Philippine embassy. They will assist you from there.

Philippine embassy won't be much help. They don't take the time to reply. My suggestion is to go to either a hospital or a police station. Report the crime to the police and get yourself checked by a doctor for possible physical damage. There should be a social worker at the hospital who will be able to assist you further from there. Prior to being with my husband, I was also in a bad spot. My mother urged me to go to the hospital because I was drugged without my knowledge and have been physically abused. I never said anything to the workers there about abuse but a social worker talked to me and he got it out of me and helped me from there. I was hesitant to go to the cops at the time as well because I was afraid. The social worker directed me to a shelter with people who help women in that situation move on from there. You and your children may need therapy as well. I understand you worry about your situation immigration wise but don't worry. Your safety and your children's safety matters more so focus on that for now. You will not be punished by leaving your husband in that situation. Once you have found a shelter or a social worker to help you, you can bring up any other concerns you may have and they will guide you through getting your life back on track. Safety first though. I wish you good luck. What you are going through is no joke, and I understand how terrible it is but stay positive. My husband taught me that. =)