Honor Killings

[sarah and hicham 3]

This is a good topic really. I guess this is something that women should discuss before marrying a man from MENA.

[AngelK96 0]

This is a good topic really. I guess this is something that women should discuss before marrying a man from MENA.

Not only this topic but many others also IMO

[sarah and hicham 3]

This is a good topic really. I guess this is something that women should discuss before marrying a man from MENA.

Not only this topic but many others also IMO

definitely, but this one in particular I would have never thought about before now.

[AngelK96 0]

if you have a fiance/husband coming from Jordan you should discuss it and be aware of it because a lot of honor killings happen there. Not just to young unmarried women, but to married and divorce women also.

[jordanianprincess 0]

if you have a fiance/husband coming from Jordan you should discuss it and be aware of it because a lot of honor killings happen there. Not just to young unmarried women, but to married and divorce women also.

The statistics say that there are about 25-30 every year (reported). It can also happen to men in Jordan for taking the virginity of an an unmarried girl.

[AngelK96 0]

Some of the stories and the reasons behind the killings.

for example. two people are married, the man divorces his wife. tells her family she is having an affair. So her brother and father kill her.

or a girl goes off to the university and doesn't know how the life will be there because nobody told her. So she starts talking to guys thinking it's normal because other girls are doing it. Her cousin sees her and reports to her family she was with a man, so they kill her. etc.....

[Donna A 4]

i asked my husband this question a few years ago and really it seamed like he didnt know what he would do. i guess he never thought much about it cuz he knew his sisters were good girls and maybe he just trusted them.

i know his sister was like 28 years old and his parents would allow her out with her fience for one hour only a week so she was aloud to date...kinda.

[jordanianprincess 0]

i asked my husband this question a few years ago and really it seamed like he didnt know what he would do. i guess he never thought much about it cuz he knew his sisters were good girls and maybe he just trusted them.

i know his sister was like 28 years old and his parents would allow her out with her fience for one hour only a week so she was aloud to date...kinda.

Thats not being allowed to date. She has to agree to marry him first and have an engagment ceremony or contract which is why they allow them to go out for short periods of time. Given the scenario you described, I'm sure she would not be allowed to go out with guys of her choice on a date.

[deeshla 0]

Oh my, I'm wondering if some of these votes so far are fakes...

I would hope so- I would hate to think anyone would marry a man who could justify the murder of his own family.

this is what I'm hoping, too, I'm a little freaked by this thread.

Frankly, I am ultra-freaked. Cultural relativism is s**t - this practice is WRONG and is the ultimate expression of woman-hating and fear of women's sexuality. How any of you can even accept this (attitude) in a potential mate is waaaaay beyond me but I guess I have less in common with people that I thought.

Accepting that is like selling your soul, IMO.

Good God.

[deeshla 0]

And another thing -

Calling it "honor killing" is a load of ######. It is straight up MURDER. If my husband were into murdering people I think I would shop at a different man-store. Yet somehow this is much much worse because it involves murdering one's own blood.

What we saw more often in Morocco was families beating their daughters/sisters for "shaming" them. It might be illuminating to add that nuance to the poll - Would your hubbys beat up/give a black eye to/break the bones of a sister who was caught with a boyfriend? This was so common as to cause me physical pain every time I thought about it.

I am still horrified that any self-respecting woman could tolerate even a mate who thought that a woman had shamed him by expressing her god-given sexuality.

[mybackpages 0]

i guess he never thought much about it cuz he knew his sisters were good girls and maybe he just trusted them.

This is the kinda of thinking that made me post my earlier statements- as if somehow these women who are victims of this kind of violence are not good girls. As f the rational for this violence is that these women are somehow deserving it. I'm with deeshla. I could never consider a relationship with someone who even in theory defends this practice.

[jordanianprincess 0]

And another thing -

Calling it "honor killing" is a load of ######. It is straight up MURDER. If my husband were into murdering people I think I would shop at a different man-store. Yet somehow this is much much worse because it involves murdering one's own blood.

What we saw more often in Morocco was families beating their daughters/sisters for "shaming" them. It might be illuminating to add that nuance to the poll - Would your hubbys beat up/give a black eye to/break the bones of a sister who was caught with a boyfriend? This was so common as to cause me physical pain every time I thought about it.

I am still horrified that any self-respecting woman could tolerate even a mate who thought that a woman had shamed him by expressing her god-given sexuality.

That doesn't surprise me at all. I thought about adding it to the poll but I am more interested in the questions I posted. I am surprised at the number of men that would carry out an honor killing but have no problem doing the same things that they would kill their loved ones for. The fact that they can have these relations shows me that they are nothing more than followers, a heard of sheep.

[Jenn! 918]

i guess he never thought much about it cuz he knew his sisters were good girls and maybe he just trusted them.

This is the kinda of thinking that made me post my earlier statements- as if somehow these women who are victims of this kind of violence are not good girls. As f the rational for this violence is that these women are somehow deserving it. I'm with deeshla. I could never consider a relationship with someone who even in theory defends this practice.

What I meant before when I said that maybe they are just "all bark and no bite" was that maybe some women feel that their husbands don't really condone honor killings, but feel some sort of societal pressure to say that they do. Maybe I'm reaching here, I don't know. I guess maybe I'm trying to justify the fact that they're trying to justify their husband's POV because it's making me crazy to think otherwise.

[jordanianprincess 0]

i guess he never thought much about it cuz he knew his sisters were good girls and maybe he just trusted them.

This is the kinda of thinking that made me post my earlier statements- as if somehow these women who are victims of this kind of violence are not good girls. As f the rational for this violence is that these women are somehow deserving it. I'm with deeshla. I could never consider a relationship with someone who even in theory defends this practice.

What I meant before when I said that maybe they are just "all bark and no bite" was that maybe some women feel that their husbands don't really condone honor killings, but feel some sort of societal pressure to say that they do. Maybe I'm reaching here, I don't know. I guess maybe I'm trying to justify the fact that they're trying to justify their husband's POV because it's making me crazy to think otherwise.

No Jenn, there is alot of truth to what you are saying. That doesn't make it right and it doesnt make it any less serious. However you have to be able to understand a persons mindset. There is definitly ALOT of pressure to say that they do. The threats alone are enough to scare most girls out of their minds and they would not think of doing any such thing.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Ok, so I thought I knew my hubby so well. I just called him at work and asked him about this topic. Gave him the example using his sister. Oh boy, all I can say at this moment is wow oh wow. He said we will discuss this tonight when he gets home.

J