Honor Killings

[Bosco 1]

Yeah something I should've done. You're a smart lady.

Strong enough to vote, not strong enough to get in a pissing match on a public forum. I respect my husband and will not discuss his beliefs with strangers.

No one should be pummeling you about this, frankly. You were honest because you felt safe among women who should understand the challenges of cross-cultural marriages such as ours. Now, those with whom you felt safe to share are turning on you with little thought as to the consequences. You deserve support, not derision, but that's not what you'll get. That is why MENA is dying, and good riddance if it does!

Some of us don't consider murder of women for decisions about their own bodies "cross-cultural" challenges, and I think treating it as such is a retarded as calling it an "honor" killing. I am not going to "support" people who think their husband's ideas on murder are acceptable and frankly I think they do deserve to be pummeled if they don't think this is a big deal.

[Jenn! 918]

This is not just a "challenge of cross cultural marriages". We're not discussing whether or not someone should put a piece of cloth over one's head or eat halal.

And quite frankly, it's extremely disturbing that this is being compared to just one of the "usual pissing matches."

[peezey 0]

They're not gonna step up. Why should they? So they can get ####### slapped around here by the usual suspects? I'm the only one who has the cojones (metaphorically speaking) to say anything and see where it got me? I'm an uncaring, unloving, blindly standin by my man woman who doesn't have any concern for my children or future children.

I don't see any post where anyone called you anything. This isn't some argument about if lipgloss=breaking a fast. Women here who have known and supported each other for a long time are supposed to read someone saying that their husband condones or would even engage in anything like this are supposed to just say "to each his own, hope your daughter doesn't make a mistake."???? I hardly think so. I am not talking about anyone specific, I am addressing the implication that this is some regular b!tch fest argument about work permits or sending money home. It's not the same thing.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Yeah something I should've done. You're a smart lady.

Strong enough to vote, not strong enough to get in a pissing match on a public forum. I respect my husband and will not discuss his beliefs with strangers.

No one should be pummeling you about this, frankly. You were honest because you felt safe among women who should understand the challenges of cross-cultural marriages such as ours. Now, those with whom you felt safe to share are turning on you with little thought as to the consequences. You deserve support, not derision, but that's not what you'll get. That is why MENA is dying, and good riddance if it does!

Some of us don't consider murder of women for decisions about their own bodies "cross-cultural" challenges, and I think treating it as such is a retarded as calling it an "honor" killing. I am not going to "support" people who think their husband's ideas on murder are acceptable and frankly I think they do deserve to be pummeled if they don't think this is a big deal.

Here's what's so interesting. I'm beat up on for not being "nice", but "nice" seems to be relative among many. If I were doing this to her, it would be me who was wrong. But, it always has depended on who is doing what to whom.

[Bosco 1]

Yeah something I should've done. You're a smart lady.

Strong enough to vote, not strong enough to get in a pissing match on a public forum. I respect my husband and will not discuss his beliefs with strangers.

No one should be pummeling you about this, frankly. You were honest because you felt safe among women who should understand the challenges of cross-cultural marriages such as ours. Now, those with whom you felt safe to share are turning on you with little thought as to the consequences. You deserve support, not derision, but that's not what you'll get. That is why MENA is dying, and good riddance if it does!

Some of us don't consider murder of women for decisions about their own bodies "cross-cultural" challenges, and I think treating it as such is a retarded as calling it an "honor" killing. I am not going to "support" people who think their husband's ideas on murder are acceptable and frankly I think they do deserve to be pummeled if they don't think this is a big deal.

Here's what's so interesting. I'm beat up on for not being "nice", but "nice" seems to be relative among many. If I were doing this to her, it would be me who was wrong. But, it always has depended on who is doing what to whom.

murder isn't nice.

[peezey 0]

Yeah something I should've done. You're a smart lady.

Strong enough to vote, not strong enough to get in a pissing match on a public forum. I respect my husband and will not discuss his beliefs with strangers.

No one should be pummeling you about this, frankly. You were honest because you felt safe among women who should understand the challenges of cross-cultural marriages such as ours. Now, those with whom you felt safe to share are turning on you with little thought as to the consequences. You deserve support, not derision, but that's not what you'll get. That is why MENA is dying, and good riddance if it does!

Please, szsz, tell us ####### support there is for someone whose husband condones this, at the very least, or would potentially engage in it at worst? You're into telling it like it is and telling the truth, including many of your posts here about this topic. I'm not responsible for how you feel, and all that. Again, what the fuc! is support, in your opinion, in this situation?

Edited January 5, 2007 by peezey

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Neither is beating up on someone for a comment. No one has died.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Ever think those that answered are bogus and even if they werent they dont owe an explanation. I will later talk to Ahmed and ask his opinion, knowing his family being so open with the times i believe they would have a discussion, forgive and continue on with life

[Jenn! 918]

Here's what's so interesting. I'm beat up on for not being "nice", but "nice" seems to be relative among many. If I were doing this to her, it would be me who was wrong. But, it always has depended on who is doing what to whom.

I really have to disagree with that. If you were saying that it is not acceptable to agree with your husband's support of honor killings, I would agree with you.

[LaL 418]

i am not going to comment on either side, however the fact that the only option that requested an explanation by the OP was if NOTHING was the chosen answer for item #2, which i stated earlier in the thread. otherwise the OP did not see a need to ask for an explanation if you chose to kill, disown or whatever.

[Jenn! 918]

Ever think those that answered are bogus and even if they werent they dont owe an explanation.

Yes, I did think that. I hope that is the case. Who would fake vote that way just to cause all this? That's pretty strange.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I think the excuse that it's how these men are raised is totally bogus. I also think the idea that this is just another one of the world's crazy **things**, is totally ridiculous. This is not something we are all actually totally removed from. We might be able to say that about some other bizarre thing in the world, maybe the Russian poisonings, since I think we are all pretty much totally removed from that. But this idea of murdering women is not a nebulous idea, and is obviously not totally removed from some people's realities here.

I wish those 9 or 10 who said their husband would murder their child or sister would step up, if they feel strong enough to vote that way, they should feel strong enough to comment.

It's not an excuse and its not bogus. I don't even see how you can make such an assesment. Many of the men who believe this come from villages and small cities. When you are raised to believe something is a certain way and everyone around believes the same, then why would they think its wrong? When you have never even been out of your country one time and are not exposed to anything else, why would you think its wrong?

Understanding this behavior and why people think this way is more important that criticizing them. You can't simply dismiss it as bogus and and an excuse when their families have behaved this way for hundreds of years. Being that Jordan, my home country, is one of the top offenders on this list, many of you would not understand why people still believe in these age old customs and traditions.

First of all there is no guarantee that what is said to be done will be done and that goes 2 ways. A man can say he would never lay a hand on his wife and he might get so outraged that he will. On the other hand, he could say that he has no problem killing his daughter if she were to have premarital sex and never be able to carry it out.

I am not shocked at the votes honestly. I expected to see it. If anyone else here has paid attention to people talking about where their fiances and husbands are from and where they have been, its no surprise to me to see some of this age old villager thinking.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Please, szsz, tell us ####### support there is for someone who's husband condones this, at the very least, or would potentially engage in it at worst? You're into telling it like it is and telling the truth, including many of your posts here about this topic. I'm not responsible for how you feel, and all that. Again, what the fuc! is support, in your opinion, in this situation?

First, explain to me how her comment merits this reaction. Will you all continue to hold it against her? Is moody a pariah now? Should she just leave and not post anymore?

[peezey 0]

Here's what's so interesting. I'm beat up on for not being "nice", but "nice" seems to be relative among many. If I were doing this to her, it would be me who was wrong. But, it always has depended on who is doing what to whom.

I don't think those of us who are arguing how fuc!ed up this whole thing is has ever asked you to be nice. And even if I had, there is nothing similar to this topic that has EVER been discussed here, so no matter how nice everyone has been in the past, this crosses any line of deserving any level or courtesy and decency. This is MURDER. OF WOMEN.

[ya falaha! 0]

Thanks, sis...I appreciate your words.

I think..no wait..I know ppl start threads (not this one) just to get ppl to open up and share shitt that they disagree with to satisfy their need to argue. Don't entrap ppl just to argue and prove you're better and more enlightened than the next guy. My MENA husband is better than yours..nah, nah, na, nah, nah He's more respectful and openminded and just a better human being than yours, etc. It's really sad.

We're all here for a common goal and purpose. Let's not forget that.

Yeah something I should've done. You're a smart lady.

Strong enough to vote, not strong enough to get in a pissing match on a public forum. I respect my husband and will not discuss his beliefs with strangers.

No one should be pummeling you about this, frankly. You were honest because you felt safe among women who should understand the challenges of cross-cultural marriages such as ours. Now, those with whom you felt safe to share are turning on you with little thought as to the consequences. You deserve support, not derision, but that's not what you'll get. That is why MENA is dying, and good riddance if it does!