Honor Killings

[jordanianprincess 0]

Although there are many of you that would like to believe that things like honor killings don't happen anymore in the Middle East, they still do until this day. They are not as common as they once were due to stricter laws and publicity, but they do happen. Most of the time, suspicion is enough for the family members to carry out this horrendous act against their wives, daughters, and sisters. There is a mentalily that goes along with this that is something I don't quite understand. I wanted to get a feel for what others think and what your SO's think. I would like to request that only MENA couples answer the questions in the polling to keep it more accurate, however anyone and everyone is free to join the discussion on the board. If you are a non-mena couple and would like to view the results of the poll, please vote for Not Applicable.

Men are not immune to this as well. If a father were to find out that his daughter was having premarital relations with a man, then that man would be next on his list and it would be upheld in religious courts as an honor killing if the autopsy reports came back indicating that his daughter was not a virgin. With this in mind, I wonder why so many men who accept this old custom of honor killings in their family and at the same time, they turn their cheek and doing the same intimate acts with someone else's daughter or sister that they would be willing to kill someone else for.

[Jenn! 918]

Oh my, I'm wondering if some of these votes so far are fakes...

[ya falaha! 0]

My husband and I had a discussion about this while I was in Egypt. Within the discussion he told me that if his sisters were to "** around" his father would have them killed without question. He agreed with this notion. My answer to the last question was that he'd put them on a plane to his home country. I'm sure his family wouldn't do anything on American soil. Now I don't know how serious he was but he seemed serious.

I used to know a group of Yemeni guys when I was younger. This story was widely known within the group. A younger kid who the group knew had a sister. This sister was having a relationship with a young black man from the neighborhood. The family owned a party store in which the sister worked occasionally. After the family found out about her indecent behavior they staged a robbery and killed her. As far as I know they got away with it. I can't say that I know this story is 100% true but I believe it could and did happen.

[mybackpages 0]

Oh my, I'm wondering if some of these votes so far are fakes...

I would hope so- I would hate to think anyone would marry a man who could justify the murder of his own family.

[Jenn! 918]

Oh my, I'm wondering if some of these votes so far are fakes...

I would hope so- I would hate to think anyone would marry a man who could justify the murder of his own family.

Furthermore, I find it hard to believe that such a man would want to come and live in the U.S.

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

I had to call my husband about this one. He said that he would sit and talk to his daughter and find out the answers, but he would love her too much to not forgive her. He said that the honor killings are bad and not right in these years. One of the reasons we had our Islamic marriage before our official wedding was because we didn't want to have the guilt or shame of having relations outside of marriage when we knew we would get married.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Oh my, I'm wondering if some of these votes so far are fakes...

I would hope so- I would hate to think anyone would marry a man who could justify the murder of his own family.

Furthermore, I find it hard to believe that such a man would want to come and live in the U.S.

You would be surprised. I know many Arabs, some that have lived here for decades that still abide by these centuries old customs.

[ya falaha! 0]

I would venture to guess that at least 90% of men from the MENA would agree with idea of honor killings. At least the ones who haven't lived in the West for long or at all.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

There have been several honor killings in recent years in the US, and not just be Arabs. In fact, honor killings were legal in this country until quite recently, but only for men to commit against their wives. I'll look up more info on that and come back.

[jordanianprincess 0]

There have been several honor killings in recent years in the US, and not just be Arabs. In fact, honor killings were legal in this country until quite recently, but only for men to commit against their wives. I'll look up more info on that and come back.

That would be great. I definitly agree, this is not limited to Arabs at all.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I would venture to guess that at least 90% of men from the MENA would agree with idea of honor killings. At least the ones who haven't lived in the West for long or at all.

Well I don't know about 90%. I do think the number is high but maybe not that high. I wonder how many of them believe in the idea of honor killings but would not be able to actually carry one out?

My fiance would be devastated, crushed, and heartbroken if his daughter has done such a thing. He would never have the heart to kill her, but he would disown her and maybe after sometime, he might forgive her.

My family is Christian as most of you know and my cousin who was born and raised and in the US met an arabic girl in High School, they liked each and fell in love. They had pre-marital sex and by the age of 17 she got pregnant. To complicate matters even more, she is Muslim. Her family disowned her. She is happily married now to my cousin, has 2 girls and has not spoken to her family in 6 years. Her mother tries to speak to her secretly sometimes without her father knowing.

What saved her is the fact that she lives here in the US, has she been in the Middle East, she most likely would have been killed.

[mybackpages 0]

I would venture to guess that at least 90% of men from the MENA would agree with idea of honor killings. At least the ones who haven't lived in the West for long or at all.

90% of men in the entire MENA region? I seriously doubt it. I can see it being much more predominate in some areas and among certain socio-economic groups, but not 90% as a whole. Too many Berbers in NA to make it be that high.

ETA: I think JP is right when she says some might tolerate the idea, but would never engage it themselves

Edited January 4, 2007 by mybackpages

[ya falaha! 0]

I think that many do agree with the idea but wouldn't have the heart to carry it out.

[sarah and hicham 3]

This is an interesting topic.

I don't know if Hicham's Dad would kill his daughter if he knew she had a boyfriend but I highly doubt it because his family is very open and non traditional.

His sister had a boyfriend for 2 years and although she never directly told her dad about it I think he had some idea about it. Hicham knew about it too.

Do you guys know girls in MENA who date but who don't tell their Dad?

Hicham's cousin dated a guy for 6 years and her Dad never knew although she did tell her Mom about it and she was ok with it. I don't think they had sex before their marriage though. (although I have no way of knowing that luckily)

JP when you say relations do you mean having sex or seeing a man and dating him without the family knowing?

[LaL 418]

why, if we choose "nothing" for question 2, does it require explanation? a minority answer, maybe, but not something one cannot fathom.