How to withdraw support from husband already got a 10 years greencard?

[philippinebelle 0]

Hello VJ People,

I'm not sure if this is the right forum I have to write this topic. My husband already got his 10 years green card but I'm afraid he is manipulating the immigration system. First of all we got married thinking we love each other and we have the same dreams like growing old together with love and have children, helping each other and do things together. He changed just so convenient when he got everything done. He don't want a baby with me but when I when I told him you got to go back to Turkey, his answer is no because he said he can't take care of himself there, as job is hard to get.. at least in the US even it's hard employers cannot really discriminate because of age. He is not old but he think he is, he is only 31 years old. I know in the back of my head I had the fear that there is the risk that he might only be using me for opportunity to stay in the US but I set that aside because I love him so much! He blames me for the changes, he said I changed him even though I tried what he asked of me, be nice and being a good wife... I thought I was being a good wife but he think I was not so I tried to do what he think is a good wife, don't ask him where he go, just agree what he wants to do and etc. All he wants to is got to work, go home and sleep and when he wants to go see his friends. He has no time for us. He finally paid some of our bills because my former company shutdown and so my pay changed dramatically. But even though he knows I have automatic payments for some of our bills he sometimes expect me to pay some more bills. He bought a car even though we have a good running truck, I asked him I want help to fix the house, he immediately said I can't afford it, but then he turn around and bought and iphone. He put me in his bank account to secure that his removal for condition will no issues but I can't use any money out of it. I'm not one of those people who just get the money without permission. He knows exactly what makes me angry but he wants to do it anyway like on his days off he rather sleep or go to his friends. He never want to make love with me even I begged. He said because he don't want to but when he want to I cannot say no because I want him so. He is acting like a single man and don't do his responsibilities as a husband and a stepfather. I know I sound pathetic but I do love him with all my heart. I want him to go anywhere he wants but he will tell me, not now, wait.. wait for what? He don't want this marriage and he expect me not to get hurt to see his face in my house and feel his presence. That's when it dawn to me that he is biding his time for some reason. That's why I wonder if he really love me why it so easy for him to hurt me instead of loving me?

We got married 2009 and he came here 2011 because I was short with my proof of financial support but I worked hard to be able to have that amount that will show on the tax return. He is been living here with me for about three years. My questions are, what will I do so he will not be able to file his citizenship? If I write a letter to INS to withdraw my support, how to do it and where to send it? I hate people who use and hurt people especially about love. Such a cruel way to damage someone inside out. Please help. Thank you.

[Ontarkie 14,231]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits , from Removing Conditions on Residency General Discussion~~

[belinda63 3,038]

Nothing you can do but move on

[VickyP 34]

First of all I want to say I am so sorry that you are going through this pain right now but I want to explain some things to you!

I grew up with a lot of people from turkey and have a lot of friends that are from turkey and I have to tell you that some of the things, situations and actions that you are explaining are just the way that they are living and what they are used to! They are not bad people at all it's just their culture! I also have to point out, that not everybody from turkey is like that, they are others depending on where they are from turkey that are more used to the modern world/ culture!

Did you ever ask him how he sees the cultural differences etc?

Big hug to you!

[MIBEN 83]

You cannot withdraw the support it's too late and you cannot stop him from Applying for citizenship. He can file through marriage after 3 years or wait to 5 years on his own. Encourage him to apply for citizenship that would be the fastest way to obsolve your sponsorship. Sorry to hear about everything else but after 4 years just does not sound like visa fraud..

[Avery Cates 1,141]

You're about 2 years too late to withdraw the I-864.

You're on the hook for I believe it's 10 years or 40 Quarters of work if he goes on any government benefits. Whether or not that's ever been actually enforced is another topic.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

philippine love isn't suppose to hurt.Words don't mean anything, actions mean everything. If he was my husband I would have no doubt that this man does not love me at all, his actions speaks for itself my dear.Divorce him and move on. It's too late now to cancel form I-864.

Edited February 24, 2014 by sandranj

[christeen 966]

Sorry for you heartache, but do not let yourself become a doormat ... I is not healthy for you and not healthy for your child to see you used like that! As far as stopping him ... Sorry to tell you but nothing you can do. He can file for removal of conditions on his own if he divorces, after 5 years he can file for citizenship... Frankly, becoming a citizen is the best thing that will relieve you of the 864 responsibilities

[nightingalejules 678]

Yes, I agree with the above posters. I'd encourage him to get his US citizenship and then divorce him. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but his citizenship is the fastest way to get you off the hook for your affidavit of support.

[akjclr81 1]

You are clearly unhappy. Why waste your time in an unhappy relationship? You only live once, so try to live this life happily

[TJTIE2012 42]

Sorry to hear this.

Its hard move on with your life and focus on you and your child.

[philippinebelle 0]

Nothing you can do but move on

Thank you Belinda63, you may be right.

[philippinebelle 0]

Sorry to hear this.

Its hard move on with your life and focus on you and your child.

I am doing that to ease my depression. Thank you TJTIE2012

[philippinebelle 0]

Sorry for you heartache, but do not let yourself become a doormat ... I is not healthy for you and not healthy for your child to see you used like that! As far as stopping him ... Sorry to tell you but nothing you can do. He can file for removal of conditions on his own if he divorces, after 5 years he can file for citizenship... Frankly, becoming a citizen is the best thing that will relieve you of the 864 responsibilities

Good morning Christeen, thank you for your comment about my issue. I got so emotional reading your post because it is exactly what I'm feeling. The thing about him he will not say to divorce me but he wait until I say it and he pick it up. Then later on when I bring it up he will say I didn't said that you said it. His actions is telling me otherwise like he is having an affair because he locked himself in the bathroom for hours and when he opened the door after I bang the door several times so he will open he did and he got the cellphone charger and his cellphone was used because it still lit up inside his pocket. Then he said he done nothing wrong and drop the bomb he don't feel the same anymore and of course he waited that I will said the words, so I said you mean you don't want this marriage anymore and he said YES. So I said, okay then go, leave and go wherever you want. Then he said wait, not now because I have no place to go. He got a job he is saving his money secretly, should be able to afford an apartment. He got a nerve to tell me to wait until he leave, he should know that he will not live with me anymore after his changed of heart but he still want to stay pretend to be my husband even though he don't do his responsibilities. He even got angry that I bought a toy, what the heck he wants me to find another man to suffice my needs? He don't do his obligations and I do have needs. Sorry people I know I am being open here but it's the honest truth we are all adults here and forgive my boldness. The bank he put my name on it, he take the money from it and deposit it in his Turkish Bank account. I keep wondering how in the world he don't have to buy food while he earn more than me. All he wants to do is work and work overtime and go home sleeping, if he awakes he eats, then go back to sleep again and of course go see his friends. This animal left me to bled to dry. He broke my heart and still think he done nothing wrong. He knows exactly to manipulate the immigration system and he does have his own account here in Visa Journey, he search everything he wants to know here and that's why I was thinking if he can find people to help him what to do, I should be able to find people who can help me find a way to stop his devious plans.

Yes, I agree with the above posters. I'd encourage him to get his US citizenship and then divorce him. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but his citizenship is the fastest way to get you off the hook for your affidavit of support.

I agreed too, thank you.

[philippinebelle 0]

Nothing you can do but move on

I know that's the hard part. A lawyer said it's a risk of marrying a foreigner and want to come here, they might just want the green card. It's an experience that I will never want to be involve again. Thank you.