USCIS has turned my marriage into a joke...

[JohnR! 5,495]

How are people blaming the US government for their bad or hurried decisions? Most of us knew that immigration would be a lengthy and expensive process when we made the decision to start dating. If you enjoy stating the obvious then why not try responding to newbies posts in the welcome section. What we didn't know was that USCIS would make the bad and hurried (yes your comments are more applicable to them than to us) decision to stop processing I-130's and process DACA filers instead. Nobody was expecting a turnaround of three weeks on their case (although the evidence from K1's shows it can easily be done) what we wanted was for an acceptable level of service for a process that we paid for. We haven't received that.

I was referring to the very title of this thread...

I don't dispute for a second that the process is frustrating, nor do I take the separation and the anxiety lightly. I must however point out to the mob mentality that has taken over many because of what the USCIS may or may not be doing in regards to DACA. Everything you hear or read are just allegations because there is no visibility as to how the system works. My point is that the entire process is already bad enough that one should not need to seek additional reasons to further one's exasperation. I was dispensing some tough love.

[BOS_LHR 829]

I was referring to the very title of this thread...

I don't dispute for a second that the process is frustrating, nor do I take the separation and the anxiety lightly. I must however point out to the mob mentality that has taken over many because of what the USCIS may or may not be doing in regards to DACA. Everything you hear or read are just allegations because there is no visibility as to how the system works. My point is that the entire process is already bad enough that one should not need to seek additional reasons to further one's exasperation. I was dispensing some tough love.

I think we've all had our fill of tough love! This thread was (by and large) about sharing our exasperation, commiserating, and offering each other support, not grabbing pitchforks and lighting torches.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

I think they're clearly here just to stir the pot. That's always going to happen on the internet. Best to just leave them be and let them get it out of their system. If we ignore it, they'll venture to another thread and stir the pot there.

Second this, I think the thread's evolution into a venting place for people's suffering is great, don't let the naysayers derail it!

Yeah good point. This is a pretty decent thread, don't want the mods to step in due to "bickering". *Note to self, stop biting*!

[k.dlg 300]

My husband and I have been together for 5 years (Feb 2009) and have been dealing with USCIS for over a year now since we originally filed for a I-129F (K1 Visa) back in January 2013. I can't help but be frustrated and jealous that current K1 visa processes are ridiculously fast compared to when I was in the backlog back then. I've been seeing people approved in 1-2 months and done with the complete process in 5 months or less.

During my research for the I-129F Petition (before I found Visa Journey!), I was under the assumption that I would need evidence of a legitimate relationship and evidence that a wedding was being planned. As many of you are aware, a traditional wedding takes a lot of time to plan, and due to the large non-refundable financial investments we made in order to secure our wedding date over a year ahead of time, we could not reschedule. We were aware of the amount of time the entire process would take which is how we decided on a solid date and were confident everything would be in order; however, that was based on processing data from 2012 and prior. (I know we should have not planned until he had the visa - but again, this was BEFORE we found visa journey). Due to the inconsistencies of the USCIS, we were misled to believe we had planned wisely, and had to start our process all over again and lost money from the first petition.

Our experience with the USCIS has been one huge headache, and with the consistent fluctuations of the current processing times for this type of petition due to another growing backlog, it is difficult to determine when my husband can immigrate into the United States so we can start to make some solid plans after learning from our mistakes from the first go-around. I do not have a problem with USCIS being thorough in processing applications and discovering fradulent cases, but I do have a problem with inconsistency, especially since I work for a government branch and these type of numbers would not cut it.

I know that the time apart will be a blink of the eye compared to our time together in the future, but here's hoping that they have finally improved their processes and will soon begin to make our type of petitions a priority for those who file later on. Best of luck to everyone else and hope you're with your loved one soon.

Edited February 24, 2014 by k.dlg

[eieio 1,594]

Thanks to all for sharing their journeys. I filed in Sept. However, I have been reading on VJ everyday since last July. Threads like this are one reason I believe my wife and I are doing ok for now. I sent her quotes about how things become so frustrating for many. I wanted us to be prepared for this frustration and anger.

For me I believe the most frustrating part will be seeing others approved that filed months after us. It is just so unfair. I see it as being standing in line and people just keep budging in front of you. They get to go in and you are still standing there. Each day this happens and there is nothing you can do.

[k.dlg 300]

Thanks to all for sharing their journeys. I filed in Sept. However, I have been reading on VJ everyday since last July. Threads like this are one reason I believe my wife and I are doing ok for now. I sent her quotes about how things become so frustrating for many. I wanted us to be prepared for this frustration and anger.

For me I believe the most frustrating part will be seeing others approved that filed months after us. It is just so unfair. I see it as being standing in line and people just keep budging in front of you. They get to go in and you are still standing there. Each day this happens and there is nothing you can do.

If you haven't already, join us in the September thread and get added to our spreadsheet.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/452116-september-2013-i-130-filers/page-87

[suhailsaish 24]

I am amazed with the level of support I am seeing on this thread and people sharing their stories. I know this wont do anything to USCIS and their processing times, but knowing that we all are wishing and hoping for each other, makes me get by the day and be more hopeful tomorrow.

On that note, it is really sad how insensitive some people are being, causing more pain and provoking people that are hurt. If you can't say anything to support us then don't say anything.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I have question for those of you that are at your wits ends and completely frustrated with the whole process.

When did the frustration and anger start to take hold? How has it affected your relationship?

I have a priority date of Sept. 26 th. So far we are ok...but some days seem to take forever.

Not sure that this could help, but when we got into this (we were K-1, that took about 9 months end to end); I set expectations that it could be a year and thus express my plan to visit in between and arrange the time off at work and the $$ for the tickets.

After about 5 months and nothing much happening, we took a trip; and were ready to take a second one on the 10th month mark. Luckily we didn't have to.

Secondary to that, I prepared the house and setup a plan and lists of things that I (I here and she in her country) needed to take care of before arrival and upon arrival, all the way to filing AOS; I had a 20 page document. It had some detail but for the most part it was an outline.

It was not a day to day, but it had dependencies of what we needed to be done first and then next and next.

It was very helpful as it was what we used to go thru the first 6 months.

One thing that helped me was that I had international relationships before, so being in continents apart was something I was more or less used to. I could hear and see in the calls that sometimes she was stressed and ready to give up; not understanding why this took so long; my job was to go over hwat had been done (letters to congress people, calls to USCIS, etc) but also to the plan itself, so we put it together and there were many things she had to do at her end as she was going to leave for an extended period.

This 'plan' is no different to what you do in a project, it allow us to ensure nothing was left

[rickkant 21]

sorry for your long wait

iam in the same boat, next month will by my 1 yr anniversary. and still stuck on NVC process.

Hopefully some goodness is around the corner for u

i had a arranged marriage too .

[Dreamers 0]

sadly i can relate to everyone's pain and suffering....

[Kaylara 814]

+100.

While I agree that the USCIS is not the easiest agency to deal with, I find it ludicrous that some should presume to blame the US government for their bad or hurried decisions.

People don't realize that the immigration service of any country - not the US alone - will not cater to their designs or desires. That is the nature of the beast and something to be considered before entering into a long distance relationship.

Bad or hurried decisions? We planned on immigrating nearly a full year before I came back here. We spent the time doing research, watching the trends with the IR/CR visas, tying up loose ends for me and the kids, and disposing of, donating, or shipping our possessions here to the states. This was not a rushed decision in any sense of the term. There was no way that we could have known that the USCIS was going to stop processing I130's at all.

I'm no new comer to immigration headaches. I already went through the Dutch immigration system, where it took me 2 years to get my residency permit. Happily, during that time I could stay in the Netherlands with my husband, and in fact that is exactly how they prefer you immigrate. Unfortunately, witch though I am, I didn't have enough clairvoyance 10 years ago when I got involved with my husband to know that we would wind up in our current situation. I didn't fall in love with my husband because he was a foreigner. I fell in love with him for who he was. We had considered that we'd need to deal with immigration in one of our countries once we decided that we wanted to be together. But immigration issues never were a driving force in our relationship. How foolish of us to think that we'd have a fairly easy freedom of movement, especially reading all of the material the USCIS puts out about immediately available visas for Spouses of US Citizens.

We're not newlyweds. We've been married for 8 years. We've been together for 10. Perhaps your advice would have been better received back then. I hadn't planned on falling in love with an incredibly inconvenient person. But I wouldn't give up a second of our time together just because he was from the Netherlands. I love him even more today than the day I married him, and I'd already given up my career and everything I'd worked years for here by then.

That doesn't mean that waiting is any easier. Or pleasant. It means that half of my heart is living in another country, and I feel that loss every minute of every day that we're apart. People who trivialize it don't impress me with how profound their truths are. They just show an impressive lack of empathy and sympathy for others. Perhaps they feel better or more superior because they're kicking people who are already down. I don't know. I don't particularly care, either. I just think it's obnoxious. Because if you really, truly were that bothered by people complaining about their dealings with immigration, you probably wouldn't come into threads where people were complaining about their dealings with immigration on a regular basis.

[kmg617 26]

I'll admit, I am not one to usually post on threads like these (although I usually read them), this one really resonates how I have been feeling lately, and it helps to read the stories of other VJ members. After over a year of this immigration nonsense and four years spent maneuvering through a long-distance relationship, this has really tested our patience. This whole year it's been like two steps forward one step back. With each "progression" with our case, came overwhelming hope and excitement. With each obstacle we faced, came sadness and hopelessness. It's been quite a roller-coaster of a year, and I find myself becoming a bitter person. I don't know how much longer I can try to explain to others in my life about what it's like. I just get looks of shock and amazement from others, so I often don't share about my husband to acquaintances. Once they find out, it just brings up 100 more questions and comments and judgments. I just want to be a normal married couple with my husband and start our life together. Thankfully, we are nearing the end of our journey. However, a recent hiccup during his interview (at the fault of the consulate) has now delayed my husband's visa weeks longer....not sure how long at this point. I guess I am just tired of this process.

(As a side-note, sadness is normal when going through something as monumental as this. However, I read some earlier posts from one or two forum members about feeling suicidal about this process. As a mental health professional, it worries me when I see those words written. Please, if any of you start to feel like giving up on life, go right to the ER and/or call one of the many suicide hotline numbers available. There IS help out there for you!)

Lots of love and support to you all who have helped me through this difficult process over the last year.

[vkrishn 97]

This might be totally unrelated to this thread but wondering if any one here lives in CA 17th District and whose I-130 has been waiting for a long time to be approved? I availed my congressman's office services couple of times and they were professional and very responsive. They want me to add to their news letter on how their office helped my case and at the same time i could also write to the Constituent services director (who has been helping me)and let them know about the backlog faced by spouse of USC's and see if they can do something about it. If there are any USC's living in the 17th district and has been impacted by this backlog it will strengthen the case. Please send me a PM if you are one and i will see if i can help put you in touch with the Immigration person in charge at their office and go from there. Small drops in a ocean. Hope and pray that you are all reunited with your loved ones soon.

[Zuyas ozzie wife 6]

Please do anybody have an idea of when my case is likely to get approved by uscis?my p.d is june 21,2013 amd my petition was transfered to nebraska on the 27th of december 2013.this is really frustracting.thanks in advance for your replies.

Your guess is as good as ours Fazzy, welcome to the world of waiting and hoping your visa will arrive soon

[mv15 0]