USCIS has turned my marriage into a joke...

[Kaylara 814]

Sorry but I have to be honest here, 90% per cent of you here made a decision to get in a foreign web site and find someone abroad,or had arranged marriage with people living abroad or by "accident" met the guy/girl online, whatever? others met their partners when travelling abroad or studying here,then why all this complain come from?. We are our choices, you made a choice to have a long distance relationship or started a relationship when living here and not being a GC holder yet, and USCIS has anything to do with that, they have to scrutinize everyone entering in this Country t's their job. Let's stop with the bs about talking of illegal people, they are here over 20 years without status and any amnesty, then they are not taking your place with USCIS.

I met my husband online 11 years ago on a completely non-related to immigration site. Tomorrow is our 10 year anniversary of being together. We made life plans based on our situation, which included me moving over there. If we'd have any inkling of the separation that we'd be going through due to the USCIS, we would have made different plans. Our desire to do everything the "right" way has resulted in our current separation. We accepted that we'd need to be separated for several months. Never did we think we'd be still sitting here a year later.

Why all this complaining? Because our immigration issues never took precedence over our relationship. And now, immigration has been the defining factor of our relationship for a year. Because my children cry to me every day that they miss their daddy. Because I actually miss my husband. It's because the USCIS continues to state that they're having delays, but has shown no actual sign of fixing the problem. Because the NVC is unprepared to deal with things like federal holidays or winter in New Hampshire, which happen every year. Their inability to deal with reality or February is once again delaying our process. Are you suggesting that I should be super happy that we may be delayed several more months?

Well, I'm not. Nor am I blaming the DACA filers or illegal aliens. I actually support amnesty and DACA, with the caveat that the entire immigration system should be overhauled to avoid these problems in the future. I believe that people who follow the laws should come first. That doesn't mean that I don't think others shouldn't be serviced, just that they shouldn't be given preference.

And I can, and will complain all I want. If you don't like reading complaints, then stop coming into threads where it's obvious there's going to be a lot of complaining. The other people on this site are some of the few people out there who can commiserate and truly understand what I'm going through.That can be the difference between a good day, and a laying curled up in a dark room crying day.

[Paz_Tranquilidade 61]

Just out of curiosity how many people here applied for a tourist visa for their spouse? I applied for the wife and she was approved. We had a baby so maybe that helped. At least she can hang out in the US until were past the NVC.

Even so, the spouse can only stay 90 days at the most. Also, I believe that you can't stay in the US more than 180 calendar days in a year.

Sometimes my husband comes and stays 30 days but then has to return because of work. Also, at the POE, they would give him a hard time about coming in with a B1/B2 with a pending I-130. Back in July, they almost didn't let him through because they kept asking him if he planned on staying and that he can't stay here during immigration proceedings.

[Ana&Sean 5]

Hey guys im so sorry to say this but its good to see other people in the same boat... i will not be afraid to say it, i went to the US with a visa when i was 12 yrs old, my mom decided to overstay our visas, and at school i met my husband, we had a baby when we were 15 yrs old, got married when we were 16 yrs old, and came to Brazil when we were 17 yrs old. On my pic right there <----- we are 16 years old and our baby 1 year old... Its been over a year that i havent seen my husband and unless i get my IR1 visa im not going to see him anytime soon, since he left in feb 2013 i was angry ive posted a couple angry topics, until finally i started to calm down i think it was last month i took the day off to tell myself to suck it up, wake up and accept my reality (im not telling any of you to do that im just saying what I had to do) today we are 21 dreaming to see each other by june, if God bless... I dont think we should turn on each other and decide which one has the worst story we dont know what the other one is truly going through, its not easy for any of us... One thing i would like to say, lets not forget once its over lets help other couples, sign petitions, voting, writing emails to senators, congressman, news people anything cuz we sure would have appreciated if someone had done that for us.

And like someone has said, do NOT allow this to tear your marriage apart, you have made a promise that in sickness and in health, in rich or poor youd be there for your partner SO STAY STRONG NOW BECAUSE ONE DAY WE WILL BE THERE FOR OUR PARTNER!!

[Tiff&Babs 62]

I haven't seen my husband in almost 3 years. We have a daughter together and he has never held her. I wish I could tell you that it gets better, but it doesn't. What helps keep my marriage together is my faith in God and also knowing that I fell in love with my husband before I knew about the hell that I would have to endure with this visa process. Do not allow this process to tear your marriage apart.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine the hardship that this is causing. This isn't easy but when you can embrace your husband these painful memories will slowly fade away.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

It's frustrating being on here sometimes and I often need to take little breaks away from VJ but I feel like I've got to know a lot of our fellow CR1 filers over the last 6 months or so and having a place to vent with people who actually understand and empathise really helps on the dark days when the visa in hand seems really far away. So thanks to all of the mostly awesome people in this thread and those who are so happy to listen and support others.

I don't know what I'll take out of this period of my life but at the very least it will be an increased appreciation of my spouse and a desire like the one Kaylara has spoken of to fight for the change in the system so that others shouldn't go through the same. I don't hate DACA filers, indeed if you are the offspring of illegal parents then you had no choice over your place of birth or lack of status. What I hate is the way that we were shunted to the back of the line without a word of explanation or apology. I would love one day to know that the system is being fixed to ensure that this kind of thing is no longer the norm.

[gabeRao 43]

indeed if you are the offspring of illegal parents then you had no choice over your place of birth or lack of status.

No No No No.

No other country in the world does this.

You are talking about teenagers who are passport holders of a vast range of any number of other countries.

They are not homeless or hopeless - they have a home.

They have an address - its on the address line of the passport of the country where they came from.

They visit their cousins on several trips all the time.

Just like I do.

Or just like everybody else.

I dont get why americans must empathize with someone who doesnt have a claim to being American.

Not being born here. Not having a parent or a grandparent who is American.

How else do you define citizenship ?

Jus solis, jus sanguinis...

jus obama ?

Republicans always get beaten up by media because they demonize those who won't supposedly vote for them.

Because they limit electoral rights that were hard fought.

You know what else is hard fought - the value of a passport of the greatest country on this planet.

Don't let Arianna huffington decide what hands it should end up in.

Edited February 24, 2014 by gabeRao

[fazzy 0]

Please do anybody have an idea of when my case is likely to get approved by uscis?my p.d is june 21,2013 amd my petition was transfered to nebraska on the 27th of december 2013.this is really frustracting.thanks in advance for your replies.

[NoelAnne 62]

Completely agree Hotter Otter. I don't hate the illegals either but why shouldn't we complain about the shabby way we have been treated. But the truth must be told, these people were brought to the front of the line to the detriment of those who wanted to do this the legal way. Of course it's all down to politics. This has been the hardest day for me too, I've spent most of it in tears. Usually I try to keep positive, I don't want to let my family here know that I'm depressed. I always put on a brave face. I'm sick of trying to explain to friends and neighbours why I'm still not with my husband. Hopefully I'll feel more positive tomorrow, we all need to stay strong. This will end soon, please God.

[R<3S 97]

Yeah this waiting game does affect marriage in many ways. I met my husband online and ran away twice, once to get married and a second time to prevent forced marriage from my parents. My parents wanted to have me traditionally arrange married off in order to stay within their "social norms", which I did not approve of. I came back to finish my degree and am living with my parents again, under compromise, stress and pain. Can't wait to be with my husband. This distance has cause us to become bitter and mean to one another, we know we miss each other so much but it is so hard to deal with it! Have not seen him for a year and 5 months.

Hope everyone has the strengths to deal with it, I know it can be hard and what we have to go through is completely unfair and unbearable, just think about the future and how one day, this will all not matter anymore, that is how I try to stay positive.

[angeldaemon13 42]

I met my hubby online, 14 years ago. I was a single mom of twins. He moved from his home in California and we did the process after we got married, 12 years ago. In that time, we had a son and my twins are in their 20's.

We had talked about him returning home, he couldn't take another winter, being shut in for 7 mos. He does not like Canada. He gave it 12 years. We sent in our paperwork and our PD is in December.

Because he has been away for so long, we felt it would be good for him to establish domicile and get things going. My son who is 8 is closer to his dad and in February, I set them free to go home. It is awful waiting, knowing I am only in the first phase. I Skype my boys every night. Yes it is hard, I couldn't let my son choose which parent to wait it out with and I miss him so much. Its been over 3 weeks and yet feels like a lifetime since I hugged him last.

I hope USCIS fixes things. Its the first time we have been separated and although it is part of the process, it shouldn't be like this. My son started school in a new place without me, he has had a lot of firsts without me. Had he have stayed here, his dad would have missed out. The process is unfair.

If I can be a part of change, not for my family but someone else's family, at least it has been somewhat worthwhile. I have been staying at a friend's and it is hard. Her family is not my family and her home is not our home.

Edited February 24, 2014 by angeldaemon13

[Amber and Cande 0]

I got married and stayed there another month before coming back to the states to start the application process. I already feel like government is trying to make it impossible. Maybe the evidence and such is not important hardly at all, maybe the real test from them is to see if you can last.. I have a keen feeling that I am going to end up back in Mexico with him. Being separated is very hard.

[angeldaemon13 42]

In July me and hubs will be married 12 years. If it is a test for a green card, I think we passed.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

No No No No.

No other country in the world does this.

You are talking about teenagers who are passport holders of a vast range of any number of other countries.

They are not homeless or hopeless - they have a home.

They have an address - its on the address line of the passport of the country where they came from.

They visit their cousins on several trips all the time.

Just like I do.

Or just like everybody else.

I dont get why americans must empathize with someone who doesnt have a claim to being American.

Not being born here. Not having a parent or a grandparent who is American.

How else do you define citizenship ?

Jus solis, jus sanguinis...

jus obama ?

Republicans always get beaten up by media because they demonize those who won't supposedly vote for them.

Because they limit electoral rights that were hard fought.

You know what else is hard fought - the value of a passport of the greatest country on this planet.

Don't let Arianna huffington decide what hands it should end up in.

I didn't say that they were homeless, I said that they didn't have a choice over where they were born. Say your parents had moved to another country and you'd grown up there, your parents didn't want to return home so as their dependent you had no choice yourself over where you lived. Once you reached adulthood would you want to leave the country you'd been born and grew up in and move to somewhere you may never even have been? Should this generation be punished for their parents actions?

These people are in the US, whether you like it or not and they have not seemed keen to leave so why not give them a path to becoming legal and a taxpayer. Good luck trying to find them all and kick them out. I think that they should have to wait in line behind citizens and LPR's but I do think they should be given a chance to stay in the country.

[Avery Cates 1,141]

2. Why is it that countries like Spain and India are able to give foreign spouses of their citizens permanent, legal residence in less than 1 month?

ProTip: There are far less people seeking to immigrate to those countries.

[gabeRao 43]

I didn't say that they were homeless, I said that they didn't have a choice over where they were born. Say your parents had moved to another country and you'd grown up there, your parents didn't want to return home so as their dependent you had no choice yourself over where you lived. Once you reached adulthood would you want to leave the country you'd been born and grew up in and move to somewhere you may never even have been? Should this generation be punished for their parents actions?

Not a punishment.

People live in the countries where they "cannot go back to" -- and they are doing quite well.

To answer your personal question.

I cannot claim nationality in a country that I have no ties to -- other than the fact that I once lived there.

If I don't qualify for a skill-based immigrant quota, what are you doing here if you have no family ??

A lot of Americans grow up in other countries - you tell me which one of those give away their nationality to americans because they were "brought there"

There are exceptions to the rules - Cuba, Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea

Because America has historic ties to the repressed peoples of these countries.

They are - literally yearning to breathe free.

Doesn't apply to everybody else who is not subjugated.

~~~~~~~~~~~

These people are in the US, whether you like it or not and they have not seemed keen to leave so why not give them a path to becoming legal and a taxpayer. Good luck trying to find them all and kick them out. I think that they should have to wait in line behind citizens and LPR's but I do think they should be given a chance to stay in the country.

Nobody is kicking them out.

Don't make them into citizens.

Edited February 24, 2014 by gabeRao