USCIS has turned my marriage into a joke...

[kssette 30]

I think this whole immigration process creates so much stress on our relationships that there are times that it brings out negative feelings. We had 30 wonderful days together. The first 8 days was spent sleeping apart until we were married. And there was his family there with us to make sure we did so, lol. I felt so close to my husband when I came home but 9 months later I have days I feel like we have become strangers again. Sometimes I just get angry over things that don't even matter. Then other days like last night, we were both laying in bed with our laptops remembering things we did in those 30 days that made us laugh. At one point my husband lean forward and said, "I feel such love and peace when I talk to you". Then we went to sleep with skype open so we could hear each other breathe or wake up to see each others face. My daughter finds it odd that we do that but its the closest thing that we have to being together. This wait is so hard but I can't imagine being with anyone else. And I agree with the poster that said our lives are on hold.

[Afrohanfi 15]

After one year of a long hard distance relationship, I got married last May´13 in Seattle (WA). My husband and I decided to live in Spain together and start the whole process from here. He got his Spanish residency for five years(valid for all the European Union) in just ONE MONTH, for a 10.70 euros cost (8 dollars). It is outrageous to read all these posts here and see how difficult and messy is everything in the US. I am a January filer and my visa journey has just begun, but at least we are waiting for it together. I know it is difficult to leave your home country (house, kids -if applicable- and job) and start a temporary life abroad with your foreign husband to come back relatively soon. However, to those who are able to do that, I strongly recommend you to go ahead. We do not deserve being away each other: We live just once!

I agree with you 100%. I want to leave and go, but here is my question to you. WHen you come back do you have a job lined up? How are you planning to make that transition back?

I am not done with school, so I dont know if they are going to let me take the leave.

My biggest fear is I move to my husbands country and then we are both stuck over there, because we cant get the money to come back. With no place to live and no jobs.

[altito 63]

I agree with you 100%. I want to leave and go, but here is my question to you. WHen you come back do you have a job lined up? How are you planning to make that transition back?

I am not done with school, so I dont know if they are going to let me take the leave.

My biggest fear is I move to my husbands country and then we are both stuck over there, because we cant get the money to come back. With no place to live and no jobs.

I know it is always a risk, of course!

In my case, my husband (the USC) is a Spanish teacher and left his work in San Francisco and came to live in Madrid to my house (now, our house). He looked for jobs here before his arrival. Fortunately, he got several jobs as English teacher here and started to work soon. Now, he is looking up new openings at schools in Cafornia as Spanish teacher again, and scheduling phone/skype job interviews. Hopefully, he will be able to get any position soon; it seems this year in Spain is very highly rated and valued for schools there. If so, by July/August he will be com¡ing back to the US. If my visa stuff is still pending, that it is likely, I will go to the US with him to spend my summer holidays taking advantage of my VWP status, and come back to Madrid to wait for my visa to be issued. I am planning to look for jobs once I get my visa stamped in my passport, accompanying it in my cover letter when applying to job positions. Luckily, I will be entering to the US by the end of this year and, therefore, I will be leaving my job here then.....

In the meantime, we are saving as much money as we can to start our new life there and during my summer holidays we will be searching house in San Francisco as well as arranging all utilities stuff...

[jsumner86 403]

If I could re-do anything, I would file through London, or file a lot sooner. I feel guilty for the pain I have caused my wife, and a lot that she has sacrificed for the last two years. We married in December 2011, but she came to the UK to live with me in November 2012 so we wouldn't be apart, due to my job and the experiences I was obtaining. Her mother passed away 3 months before our wedding so I already knew she was having a hard time. I didn't realise this process was going to take as long as it is, and it has caused her serious depression having no family members around her or no support system, but me. She gave up working on her degree, work, friends, and family temporarily to be with me, and we all know when we make sacrifices like that in life for someone they truly love us, and everyone on here has done that.

It kills me when I see her crying each night about how she just wants to move on with our lives and how her country would do this to people, and how it really affects the family unity image that America has. We have each other now, but we didn't at first. We knew how much pain and stress that caused, and doing the whole LDR was getting really expensive. I feel that family and friends that don't go through this process don't understand how we feel. It's frustrating when your family and friends are just like "oh, I'm sorry" but not realising how much pain and suffering it causes for people.

It's nice to know there's people that feel exactly like us and we can relate to each other.

[aidansgirl 5]

We are all in the same situation.... We are fighting only for stuff that have been caused because we are appart! If we were all the time together we would never have fought about this stupid things that we are fighting about now which really pisses me off! Today is 8 months since we applied and hopefully this week we will be approved and all this b.s.will be over soon cause i can not handle it anymore....Fortunately my husband is amazing and he will come again to Bulgaria in 2 months and i can not wait You people have faith! Life is wonderfull and be thankfull thet you have your amazing spouses and one day when you are finally together you will appreciate your relationship a lot more!!!!

[Laspoxaroumeni 68]

Woooow!!! I cant imagine kids cant see their daddy and mommy together just because of some papers i feel sorry for u guys! And if i could i would give u my "sit" to do quickly ur papers... God give u strength for this and wish to everyone luck!!!

[Sukie 1,463]

These are the stories that need to be published in the New York Times! I wonder if anyone could figure out a way to copy this forum and get it to the author of the article? Kaylara, you were interviewed. Is there anyway to contact <I forgot her name> and get her to read these?

Sukie

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Sorry but I have to be honest here, 90% per cent of you here made a decision to get in a foreign web site and find someone abroad,or had arranged marriage with people living abroad or by "accident" met the guy/girl online, whatever? others met their partners when travelling abroad or studying here,then why all this complain come from?. We are our choices, you made a choice to have a long distance relationship or started a relationship when living here and not being a GC holder yet, and USCIS has anything to do with that, they have to scrutinize everyone entering in this Country t's their job. Let's stop with the bs about talking of illegal people, they are here over 20 years without status and any amnesty, then they are not taking your place with USCIS.

Edited February 24, 2014 by sandranj

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Just want to say to keep holding on guys. It will all be worth it in the end. I know it seems like forever...but in the end, it will be a small blip on your long lives together. Try not to think about the things that are being missed (birthdays, anniversaries, etc) but think about all the memories you'll create TOGETHER, when you're reunited!

Thinking of you all and hoping for good news for you soon!

[thedude6752000 360]

Sorry but I have to be honest here, 90% per cent of you here made a decision to get in a foreign web site and find someone abroad,or had arranged marriage with people living abroad or by "accident" met the guy/girl online, whatever? others met their partners when travelling abroad or studying here,then why all this complain come from?. We are our choices, you made a choice to have a long distance relationship or started a relationship when living here and not being a GC holder yet, and USCIS has anything to do with that, they have to scrutinize everyone entering in this Country t's their job. Let's stop with the bs about talking of illegal people, they are here over 20 years without status and any amnesty, then they are not taking your place with USCIS.

1. Why does the fact that I met my wife while studying abroad on a US-government sponsored program make my relationship invalid?

2. Why is it that countries like Spain and India are able to give foreign spouses of their citizens permanent, legal residence in less than 1 month?

3. If they have to "scrutinize everyone entering in this Country t's their job" why shouldn't illegal immigrants have to leave and go through the same process?

4. Where do you get off telling us not to "whine" when the only reason people are talking about amnesty, and the only reason DACA is a reality, is due to the incessant whining of the Latino and illegal immigrants communities?

5. If our "whines" should not be heard, then why should we listen to the "whining" of people who knew what they were doing when the broke the law? The KNEW that there was no path to legal citizenship when they came here 20 years ago, so why should we give them a prize just for being able to cheat the system all these years?

Edited February 24, 2014 by thedude6752000

[gabeRao 43]

Let's stop with the bs about talking of illegal people, they are here over 20 years without status and any amnesty, then they are not taking your place with USCIS.

Really ?

If someone broke into your home without you knowing it and called themselves a "undocumented resident" of your house - would you allow it ?

B.S. my friend is folks like you and your president devaluing american citizenship by giving these people access to American nationality like hot cakes.

They ARE taking our places with USCIS.

THEY WERE PROCESSED AHEAD of the rest of us.

And now they're coming back to flood the system.

AGAIN

Who are you to tell us how to react to the blatant politicization of law enforcement and immigration law for favorable electoral outcomes ?

[sara..... 371]

My first experience with immigration was in 2007 for k-1 took two years for NOA 2 then the embassy in India let the petition expire and returned it expired petition........now 2014 I'm married and starting a new visa journey with a wonderful man..........i swore the first time i would never ever again go thru any immigration anything ..........ha here i am........but at least this time i know what lays ahead of me...it wont be pretty and it wont be short........we cant blame everything on the program to make illegals legal there was not anything like that my first time around and it still was a mess.........only thing i can tell anyone is as long as you both work at being a couple an neither of you give up it will work out........when one gives up its finished.......there will be many times that I will visit my husband thanks of Allah we have that ability many do not........just hang in there seems like it will take a million years but really in the end it will be worth it

sara

[gabeRao 43]

Sorry but I have to be honest here, 90% per cent of you here made a decision to get in a foreign web site and find someone abroad,or had arranged marriage with people living abroad or by "accident" met the guy/girl online, whatever?

Whatever ?

Arrange marriages are "whatever" to you ?

What the heck is "accident" and "online" ?

You are going to tell the rest of us how to fall in love now ?

[suhailsaish 24]

Sorry but I have to be honest here, 90% per cent of you here made a decision to get in a foreign web site and find someone abroad,or had arranged marriage with people living abroad or by "accident" met the guy/girl online, whatever? others met their partners when travelling abroad or studying here,then why all this complain come from?. We are our choices, you made a choice to have a long distance relationship or started a relationship when living here and not being a GC holder yet, and USCIS has anything to do with that, they have to scrutinize everyone entering in this Country t's their job. Let's stop with the bs about talking of illegal people, they are here over 20 years without status and any amnesty, then they are not taking your place with USCIS.

Processing Times

1). Select a form typeSelect one... I-102 I-129 I-129F I-130 I-131 I-140 I-212 I-360 I-485 I-526 I-539 I-600 I-600A I-601 I-612 I-730 I-751 I-765 I-817 I-821 I-821D I-824 I-829 I-90 I-90A I-914 I-918 N-400 N-565 N-6002). Select a form sub-typeSelect one... Permanent resident filling for a spouse or child under 21 Permanent resident filling for an unmarried son or daughter over 21 U.S. citizen filing for a brother or sister U.S. citizen filing for a married son or daughter over 21 U.S. citizen filing for a spouse, parent, or child under 21 U.S. citizen filing for an unmarried son or daughter over 213). Select an officeSelect one... California Service Center National Benefits Center Nebraska Service Center Texas Service Center Vermont Service CenterGet Results Reset

USCIS National Goal - 5.0 Month(s)

USCIS National Average - 8.3 Month(s)

Nebraska Service Center - 9.0 Month(s)

Effective as of: December 31, 2013

Please explain this chart to me! Still standing behind your statement "then they are not taking your place with USCIS"???

[Joe & Tanusha 2]

The service centers are lazy government workers that do not give a about any of us. Government is concerned with votes. They see millions of criminals ready to vote for them if they become citizens. We all need to complain to every senator and congressmen and to the TV new. The service centers need to stop discrimanating against US citizens and our loved ones.