January 2014 TSC Filers

[Masenko 36]

Just got a call from the senators office (this is me after calling repeatedly), and they said the same thing they said since the last few weeks. Its in background checks with an outside company (apparently USCIS does do it), one of us has been flagged, cant tell who and they have no definite time till it would be cleared. I was married before, but we had a clean divorce, that's all I can think off and I really don't think our names have any links with anything suspicious. oh well, lets go back to staying numb indefinitely.....

[nitsirk7562 82]

Awe I'm so sorry. I know I'm incredibly lucky that my fiancé's family is so supportive of our marriage. Some of his more distant relatives are not cool with him marrying a "firang." White women don't exactly have the best rep in India.

Hopefully over time, the relationship will heal and you'll be on good terms. I know it's hard to be positive when you're surrounded by negativity. You have your fiancée to lean on and in time you'll be together. This process is temporary. Don't let it change your positive spirit and consume who you are! Take back your happiness. Find something-anything, that makes you happy and keep telling yourself it's temporary. The negativity, the waiting will all be over soon!

Thanks for the sending positive vibes. Honestly if you meet me, I am usually the most positive person to be around (I am not saying it in a bragging way, its just my happy self and what others say about me). I was good till last month and I kept supporting her on a everyday basis, but honestly I am so phased out these days. Last night I broke out crying alone in bed. I have lost the will to exercise, to eat healthy food. I used to be a personnel and yoga trainer till a few years ago. I played racquetball, swam etc. Quite active and did it as it bought me happiness. Now I try and I am just not happy doing anything. I try to kill time watching TV as its the only time I can actually space out.

Also my parents have kinda disowned me as I am choosing to marry her. We are apparently of not the same caste's and that was a big no - no. I got engaged against their will and have tried to re-coup with them since, but I just keep getting pushed back. I send my brother a Bday card and he basically said to get lost and he hates me and not to contact him as I wrote from "her name" and "my name". I guess all the negative energy has finally broken my spirit and I am done hanging in there. Now I just stay numb....

[LaurenandCarl 16]

Thanks for the sending positive vibes. Honestly if you meet me, I am usually the most positive person to be around (I am not saying it in a bragging way, its just my happy self and what others say about me). I was good till last month and I kept supporting her on a everyday basis, but honestly I am so phased out these days. Last night I broke out crying alone in bed. I have lost the will to exercise, to eat healthy food. I used to be a personnel and yoga trainer till a few years ago. I played racquetball, swam etc. Quite active and did it as it bought me happiness. Now I try and I am just not happy doing anything. I try to kill time watching TV as its the only time I can actually space out.

Also my parents have kinda disowned me as I am choosing to marry her. We are apparently of not the same caste's and that was a big no - no. I got engaged against their will and have tried to re-coup with them since, but I just keep getting pushed back. I send my brother a Bday card and he basically said to get lost and he hates me and not to contact him as I wrote from "her name" and "my name". I guess all the negative energy has finally broken my spirit and I am done hanging in there. Now I just stay numb....

This is not good! You need to be you!! You're getting married to somebody you love, starting afresh and while things are tough now they will get so much better!

My nanny as a kid always used to say there's nothing a cup of tea, slab of cake and a talk can't do (well there probably are limits!), but although I can't provide the tea and cake, feel free to message me to vent or to just chat, get things off your mind.

:-)

[usuk2015 16]

Thanks for the sending positive vibes. Honestly if you meet me, I am usually the most positive person to be around (I am not saying it in a bragging way, its just my happy self and what others say about me). I was good till last month and I kept supporting her on a everyday basis, but honestly I am so phased out these days. Last night I broke out crying alone in bed. I have lost the will to exercise, to eat healthy food. I used to be a personnel and yoga trainer till a few years ago. I played racquetball, swam etc. Quite active and did it as it bought me happiness. Now I try and I am just not happy doing anything. I try to kill time watching TV as its the only time I can actually space out.

Also my parents have kinda disowned me as I am choosing to marry her. We are apparently of not the same caste's and that was a big no - no. I got engaged against their will and have tried to re-coup with them since, but I just keep getting pushed back. I send my brother a Bday card and he basically said to get lost and he hates me and not to contact him as I wrote from "her name" and "my name". I guess all the negative energy has finally broken my spirit and I am done hanging in there. Now I just stay numb....

I know exactly how you feel.

Every year my family gets together for holidays. Every holiday at that..

My fiance was in the country during Easter and we weren't allowed to attend.

To be precise, I was told that the children and I could come but he needed to stay home.

My family is unable to look past the color of his skin.

I am sure you can imagine their reaction to finding out that we were having a baby together. HA!

The way I see it, they'll either get over it or we'll likely never see each other again (my family). I'm okay with either.

My fiance and children will always come first. I will not subject them to the negativity that idiocy creates.

Edited August 15, 2014 by Jameel and Kasey

[Masenko 36]

I know exactly how you feel.

Every year my family gets together for holidays. Every holiday at that..

My fiance was in the country during Easter and we weren't allowed to attend.

To be precise, I was told that the children and I could come but he needed to stay home.

My family is unable to look past the color of his skin.

I am sure you can imagine their reaction to finding out that we were having a baby together. HA!

The way I see it, they'll either get over it or we'll likely never see each other again (my family). I'm okay with either.

My fiance and children will always come first. I will not subject them to the negativity that idiocy creates.

First and foremost congrats to both of you for having a baby girl!

Yes I am coming to terms with that also. Its hard as they have been amazing parents but have never been able to accept my choices in regards to a partner (they never liked any of my exes..). But I also have a limit and its coming close to be full. Thank god her parents are supportive.

The worst part is that I know what my parents want in a daughter in law and only if they give her a chance they would be more than happy, but they are so stubborn that they will not even attempt (well so far..). Here she is the same color, religion etc, but even though that all checked out, they had to find something. So wrong, just so wrong... and then they started looking for all things to why she "isn't good" for me. Anyways I don't want to rant anymore... sorry for today guys... just got off the phone with her and she just broke down... getting hard to stay strong for each other..

[Masenko 36]

Awe I'm so sorry. I know I'm incredibly lucky that my fiancé's family is so supportive of our marriage. Some of his more distant relatives are not cool with him marrying a "firang." White women don't exactly have the best rep in India.

Hopefully over time, the relationship will heal and you'll be on good terms. I know it's hard to be positive when you're surrounded by negativity. You have your fiancée to lean on and in time you'll be together. This process is temporary. Don't let it change your positive spirit and consume who you are! Take back your happiness. Find something-anything, that makes you happy and keep telling yourself it's temporary. The negativity, the waiting will all be over soon!

Thank you for your positive words. I am trying and trying and as I have failed, I sense a sort of insanity... "to do the same thing and expect different results equates to insanity". The engineer in me had managed to keep me straight all this time, but after waiting fair and square and then to be told "we have no idea when we can complete your case", has completely thrown us off. Once again I hope you don't take my response negatively, I know you mean well, unfortunately this time all the good wishes haven't been able to cheer either of us. I sound like a complete A$$****, but I am also speaking my heart. Sorry if I said something wrong bud.

[Masenko 36]

Awe I'm so sorry. I know I'm incredibly lucky that my fiancé's family is so supportive of our marriage. Some of his more distant relatives are not cool with him marrying a "firang." White women don't exactly have the best rep in India.

Hopefully over time, the relationship will heal and you'll be on good terms. I know it's hard to be positive when you're surrounded by negativity. You have your fiancée to lean on and in time you'll be together. This process is temporary. Don't let it change your positive spirit and consume who you are! Take back your happiness. Find something-anything, that makes you happy and keep telling yourself it's temporary. The negativity, the waiting will all be over soon!

Also god bless you that his immediate family supports you. It makes the world of a difference. All my exes by definition were "firang" and yeah I saw how my parents reacted every time I told them. I have always cared for people and not the color of their skin, finally I am with a non-firang and now it seems they managed to find something else that doesn't please them. Their beef seems also to be that they didn't get to choose for me... but oh hell what do I know what's going on in their mind. I have been wrong about everything apparently according to them.

P.S- I am a self made man, came to this country at a very young age, studied and did all kinds of jobs - didn't care small or big, "prestigious or non prestigious (as some would say)" - respected and was thankful to get a job each time I got a job, now I have a full time engineer's job, settled down, don't owe anybody anything, don't hurt anybody, respect and love all people, love to make them laugh if I could etc etc. But in my parents eyes I am a failure. Bought them a condo next to mine so that they can come to the states and live close to me. I actually did it for them, not just talk. But as I am "choosing the wrong person" its all a waste and they regret sending me here....

All sorry for posting so much personnel stuff, this isn't a place to put this all out, this is a progress forum, I apologize... I am just so numb..

[nitsirk7562 82]

Well we try to help, but it does seem like you've spiraled and would prefer to be miserable for the time being. Not judging, I had this phase too. Emotional exhaustion, I get it. You'll snap out of it once you get your NOA2 I'm certain. You'll have to grow accustomed to waiting though. This quest for a green card is a whole lot of hurry up and wait.

Sadly, we can't choose our parents. All we can do is be better parents if/when we decide to have children. I can't pretend to fully understand the complexities of your family, but this does seem to be pretty common among Indian families. Many of my fiancé's friends go through this struggle. The decision to either go with or against their wishes is difficult and someone usually ends up unhappy. In the end, you chose to live for yourself and not for others. That's something to be proud of.

This forum is for support for those who are also going through this strenuous process, no need to apologize.

Also god bless you that his immediate family supports you. It makes the world of a difference. All my exes by definition were "firang" and yeah I saw how my parents reacted every time I told them. I have always cared for people and not the color of their skin, finally I am with a non-firang and now it seems they managed to find something else that doesn't please them. Their beef seems also to be that they didn't get to choose for me... but oh hell what do I know what's going on in their mind. I have been wrong about everything apparently according to them.

P.S- I am a self made man, came to this country at a very young age, studied and did all kinds of jobs - didn't care small or big, "prestigious or non prestigious (as some would say)" - respected and was thankful to get a job each time I got a job, now I have a full time engineer's job, settled down, don't owe anybody anything, don't hurt anybody, respect and love all people, love to make them laugh if I could etc etc. But in my parents eyes I am a failure. Bought them a condo next to mine so that they can come to the states and live close to me. I actually did it for them, not just talk. But as I am "choosing the wrong person" its all a waste and they regret sending me here....

All sorry for posting so much personnel stuff, this isn't a place to put this all out, this is a progress forum, I apologize... I am just so numb..

[morx61 25]

Hello, my case was sent to NVC on August 7th, but they haven't received it yet. How long will it take for them to assign a case number? From one waiting line, to another waiting line ... NICE!

[caiti92 23]

Hello, my case was sent to NVC on August 7th, but they haven't received it yet. How long will it take for them to assign a case number? From one waiting line, to another waiting line ... NICE!

At least yours was sent! Many people wait nearly a month for that. From what I've heard recently, it's taking ~1-2 weeks for NVC to receive the case and ~2-4 weeks for them to process it, assign a case # and ship it off to the embassy. This seems to vary pretty drastically from person to person, though. I feel your frustration, but take comfort in knowing the worst part is behind you and you won't have to deal with USCIS for a little while.

[Masenko 36]

Well we try to help, but it does seem like you've spiraled and would prefer to be miserable for the time being. Not judging, I had this phase too. Emotional exhaustion, I get it. You'll snap out of it once you get your NOA2 I'm certain. You'll have to grow accustomed to waiting though. This quest for a green card is a whole lot of hurry up and wait.

Sadly, we can't choose our parents. All we can do is be better parents if/when we decide to have children. I can't pretend to fully understand the complexities of your family, but this does seem to be pretty common among Indian families. Many of my fiancé's friends go through this struggle. The decision to either go with or against their wishes is difficult and someone usually ends up unhappy. In the end, you chose to live for yourself and not for others. That's something to be proud of.

This forum is for support for those who are also going through this strenuous process, no need to apologize.

Thanks again for your words. I am sure I will spiral out also once we get the NOA 2. Fingers crossed. I think the rest of the journey to green card and beyond would be way easier as she would be here by then. Thanks again and have a great weekend my friend

[Wait4ever? 50]

Masenko, hang in there. We have the same NOA1 date and we are in the same boat. I've gone through a lot of different stages of frustration, anger, numbness, you name it. Waiting for so long is very hard, and what's making it even worse is that we don't know why we are in security check and when to expect it to finish...we can't plan anything and we are missing out on a lot of events in our loved ones lives. But soon we will get our NOA2s and we can finally move on!!!

[KrysEve 10]

NOA2 received today! I am so overjoyed. Two denied expediate requests, one congressman, one mis classification of petiton, one senator, and one request for evidence, almost seven months later I thought I would never see the day. All those in January still waiting, stay strong.

[lizascissors 65]

You guys! Our packet is officially in transit according to CEAC!!! Did not expect things to move so fast. That is all. I'm really excited. I hope everyone else is doing ok

[Tonester 29]

You guys! Our packet is officially in transit according to CEAC!!! Did not expect things to move so fast. That is all. I'm really excited. I hope everyone else is doing ok

Yaaay! So happy for you!

things are going weird with us - I already posted about NVC messing with my birthdate, so they can't tell my fiance anything about our case because birthdate is "wrong". we didn;t receive RFE and checked our documents again but my birth date is correct in all of them... we were told they handed the problem to some senior specialist..

Anyway, I hope you'll pass all the remaining stages as quickly