My New Year's Resolutions

[Kathryn41 3,205]

MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS:

I will be at peace with the fact that my human will never let me eat their pet hamster.

I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium

I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not necessary to check every door.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry.

When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when they are on the family room

floor trying to do sit ups.

When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are *not* a hammock.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has watched a horror movie.

I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at

NOTHING after my human has watched the X-Files.

I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed at night and then yell at the top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill."

I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until they wake up.

I will not walk on the key board when my human is writing important adagfsg

gdjag ;ln.

If I must claw my human I will l not do it in such a way that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

If I must give a present to my human guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live bug, even if it isn't as tasty.

[LuzyC 0]

Nice and cute post Kathryn.. thanks..

My cats here sez' cheers!lol..

[ajames79 0]

haa ha....

this made me giggle this morning!

My lovely cats brought me a pressie this morning! A lovely mouse...left it by my bedroom door for me to wake up to!

Silly cats!

[KarenCee 3]

Joel and I love kitties! Don't you just love those little pressies they bring us? LOL

[ajames79 0]

oh yeah!! They had a huge spider last night!

Oh well! I am not squimish at all but it is no fun when you step on one of these pressies!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

The resolutions I was really glad to see were the ones about no longer making the bed the re-enactment of a wildebeeste stampede on the Serangeti in the middle of the night, and no longer bringing the dirty socks up on to the bed in the midle of the night and letting out a yowl - we will both sleep much better without those activities:-). I suspect they will still bring their toys up onto the bed and play with them there during the night though . . .

Pressies, oh yes! When I was still in Canada my cats had a cat door and access to the outside. I used to wake up to mice tails and feet - no mice - on the kitchen floor regularly. One of my cats used to bring in cicada bugs then let them loose in the house and jump around afterthem trying to catch these madly chickkkering BIG bugs! Then he would come and find me with this still alive, struggling, angry bug held in his mouth for me to praise him

My cats say hi back to yours, Luzy!

Edited January 2, 2007 by Kathryn41

[mawilson 2,133]

I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.