How much money your husband gives you per month?

[lost_at_sea 995]

no? it doesn't beg that question?

ok - i'll study more, apparently her convos with her husband are buried in the topic.

It would certainly beg the "trust" question. I could have read wrong but it sounded like the OP doesn't really know anything about their finances.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

OP has no timeline, no country posted, and probably no experience on how finances work in the US. So much to learn while she is sitting on the couch instead of pounding the pavement looking for a job she is actually qualified for and an opening exists. Tough times for most new immigrants.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/480116-how-studying-working-in-usa/#entry6814366

[Eric-Pris 1,606]

Hi VJ family , i recently moved to the unites states ,im sitting at the house no Job yet, im trying to find a job in the futur soon, my husband doesn't share financial information with me, i get no money from him for now , i have a question , Im curious to know how much money your husband gives you per month as pocket money including anything you want to do like (hear care, clothes ......) saving .....?

a new marital life for me and I have no idea what the others wifes they do? are you responsable and in charge about the house budget? Food ...ect

Thanks

Have you asked him to share? If not, maybe you should. If so, and he refused, I would question the relationship. I can't imagine a man bringing a woman over to the US and then not offering her some pocket money while she's not working. Like somebody said earlier, this is a form of control and power over the other spouse.

I'm the USC and when my wife arrived she could not work for a few months, but was given her own ATM/debit card to use as needed/wished. She's never been a big spender and even now almost 6 years later, calls and asks if she can take out $40 for herself, and she works now and part of the money in the acct is from her job.

[FloridaPinayUSA 0]

Hi sister, I'm like you : for almost 4 years relationship , he was telling me " my money is your money, your money is my money" telling me as well " our money" since i came to USA he showed me his real face , he is the one who shop food , i can't touch anything or buy anything , i came to USA with a few clothes and i stayed for 1 month with no complete clothes , when i ask him, he take me to the shop and he try to buy me something cheap , no max than 12 dollar , when he see the prices different he leave and me i follow him , i have no credit card , he said he will give me in hand cash 'no card' 200 dollar every month to may be if i need to go to hairdresser or to buy make up or to call my family and to pay 50 dollar my phone bill or to buy clothes , when i asked him to little give me more cause the 200 dollar may be not enough , he told i can don't use it, and just eat at home, when he get mad about something he do not hesitate to tell me i can go back to my home , witch is difficult for me especially cause i tell my family im fine and he is taking good care of me , if they know something different than im fine they will kill me cause it was not easy for me to marry him cause to different things .....but i succeed in the end to make everybody understand i oicked the good man for me , few days after when i came, i and him were trying to buy something to cook with i didn't knew the word in English we were outside in the market , while i was trying to make him understand what im looking for , he may felt tired or something , he said in my face , "####" bad word , i didn't accepted what he said when we went the the house we fighted he insulted me , i took my bag in the evening and i went outside he locked the door after me , i thought he will go out to look for me ,i was stupid, i stayed for almost 2 h just close then i came back by myself , when he speak over the phone with his friends he use very bad words " im surprised" , this is the man i married with !?may be because in our religion and our culture we don't live with our fiance until we get married that's why im late to know who he is !? sometimes he speak about me with his friends trying to explain he will see what will happens with me or something like that, im not really sure what is my situation , now i just have to eat the way he like the food he buy and to take the 200 dollar to do anything i need , or i shut my mouth,

Hello Zaynab,

You are still lucky that your husband giving you money even its only 200$ a month. My husband never gave me money Even penny He never get me a phone He never pay for my Adjustment of status Never take me to doctor (OBGYNE)(no period for 5 months)Cheated on me and kick me out of the house last time and always calling me stupid. I am really Mental abused though but i am still fighting for it I dont want to leave him because i love him even though his family thinks that i am just for a green card or money. they dont know whats happening. Just be thankful Zaynab to your husband that he giving 200$ a month.

[FloridaPinayUSA 0]

Does anyone have a link to the other thread:

How much money your wife gives you per month?

0$ even penny 0

[Ed and Elnie 0]

This is a topic of utmost importance and concern to all petitioners and beneficiaries. I hope it is made very accessible to all members and that many will put in their opinions.

Elnie (Filipina-Cebu age 26) and I (Texan age 73) are not a typical couple by any means, but we do enjoy a great life together for the most part. We live in a rural area in Texas where everyone knows everyone else and happily we have had no problems with acceptance to our age differences, though I'm sure there are comments in private, nothing negative has ever reached my awareness. Everyone seems to go out of their way to be polite to Elnie, which is easy actually because she is sweet and smiling most of the time... but shy.

From the time Elnie and I became engaged (April 2011), we have shared financial information, needs, budgeting, etc. I gave her a credit card in her own name (easily obtained) and an ATM card for my personal bank account. She did have a budget goal each month, sometimes going over but usually within the target area. She moved into her own modest apartment and bought furniture and minimal appliances.

At my age, of course I am retired and have a limited fixed income. It was important that I stress to her all of my expenses and emergencies so that she could see in advance what OUR situation was. Happily she is very responsible and frugal, so we had no real problems. Neither of us drink or party, so we usually managed to stay within the goals... however the immigration costs, as well as the expenses of her cargiver school (a good one) did take my credit cards much higher than I had anticipated and we were looking at some hardships by the time she was given USCIS approval to come here early in 2013. I own my home outright, as well as my truck and car, so the solution we decided on was to sell a small amount of my river property to get enough cash to cover the card balance and initial expenses for her upon arrival.

So from before “day 1” we had a transparent financial situation and there was no talk of me giving her money, she just judiciously took over buying clothing and doing the grocery shopping. We also provide a fairly generous (for our finances) allowance to her mom for her own use and for caring for Elnie's son, who we will bring to the USA at a later date.

Our first “confusion” came when she told me the CFO had told her to build a savings account to cover any emergency situation in case the marriage did not work out. I was not in agreement to giving her money to sock away in case she wanted to leave me. We finally agreed to a token amount of $20 every two weeks... totally painless, but later I learned that she'd told someone I was cheap and only gave her $10 a week for herself... obviously incorrect!

After Elnie got her green card (around the first of 2014) she went to work as a caregiver/housekeeper for elderly clients around this area and we set up a savings account for her. There were a few discussions about “her money” and “our money”, but luckily we have not yet had to borrow from her savings. I just decided to treat that as emergency money for the two of us, and I know she would gladly help if the money is needed... but having it socked away makes her feel much more secure and independent.

It's not a perfect solution, but there probably is no such thing. So far we seldom have disagreements on what to buy (other than her frugality sometimes rejecting purchases of things an American couple would consider to be reasonable). I must say that for me knowing there is back-up money, I worry much less, but at the same time I do worry each time we have a minor skirmish that she might pack up and leave.

We do have a nice life together though and I'm very happy most of the time. I miss her when she is working though.

Ed

[mitchanme 18]

I SO agree with Ed and Elnie. Many men have no idea how difficult it is for a woman who is used to having her own (earned) money. My fiancé glibly says "if you need anything just ask". It just makes you feel helpless and incompetent, which adds to the adjustment stress. And, amazingly, a lot of outsiders don't understand that we aren't allowed to work for a period of time. Yes, the whole process is ridiculously expensive, but you have to be very open about the financial thing, and for God's sake make sure your fiancée has a little stash of 'just in case' money.

[VOL 425]

I will give my wife a set allowance for the first few months.

Once she starts to work I plan on her turning her paycheck to me and I will give her an allowance

After she has worked a year as a Nurse. I will have her get a second job as nurse at another hospital and she can keep that money in a joint account with me. I will do this for a couple of years and then re evaluate.

[NikLR 13,227]

I will give my wife a set allowance for the first few months.

Once she starts to work I plan on her turning her paycheck to me and I will give her an allowance

After she has worked a year as a Nurse. I will have her get a second job as nurse at another hospital and she can keep that money in a joint account with me. I will do this for a couple of years and then re evaluate.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love the joke.

[Novembro 1,763]

I will give my wife a set allowance for the first few months.

Once she starts to work I plan on her turning her paycheck to me and I will give her an allowance

After she has worked a year as a Nurse. I will have her get a second job as nurse at another hospital and she can keep that money in a joint account with me. I will do this for a couple of years and then re evaluate.

[Boiler 45,558]

I will give my wife a set allowance for the first few months.

Once she starts to work I plan on her turning her paycheck to me and I will give her an allowance

After she has worked a year as a Nurse. I will have her get a second job as nurse at another hospital and she can keep that money in a joint account with me. I will do this for a couple of years and then re evaluate.

Noe there is a man with his head screwed on.

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

I will give my wife a set allowance for the first few months.

Once she starts to work I plan on her turning her paycheck to me and I will give her an allowance

After she has worked a year as a Nurse. I will have her get a second job as nurse at another hospital and she can keep that money in a joint account with me. I will do this for a couple of years and then re evaluate.

A man with a plan! I look forward to sequel: Scammer left me as soon as she got here.

[Fan_Dancer 171]

I love it, give me your paycheck and I will give you an allowance, lol.

[elle13 15]

Does anyone have a link to the other thread:

How much money your wife gives you per month?

I'm the wife, my husband is the USC. I've been in the US slightly more than a year (moved here on CR1). I work and he doesn't.

I pay all the bills, rent etc. and he's listed as my dependent under company's insurance. I get paid in a my own account and move money to our joint account every month which he's free to use to spend on whatever he likes.

So it isn't always the case that the immigrant (or woman!) is the dependent.

And yes I'm younger than my USC husband!