Please help with my situation! ????

[eieio 1,594]

I found the thread I read. Here is what you could be up against. It could be a piece of cake too. Depends on the fathers desire to keep his son from moving to the USA.

After the "Family Board" decision, then a judges decision (and who knows how many court dates, I lost track honestly, I know it hit double digits), of which she won on both counts, it then went to an appeals court in another city. No, I do not know why. After more than a dozen trips to Ukraine and 6 years of experience there, I still cannot claim to understand a number of things. The corrupt government and court system in general are two examples. The squatter toilets in some places, including the Ivano-Frankovsk airport, is another.

The custody decision, originally in her favor after the first two decisions, was reversed on appeal. I imagine her ex-husband somehow came up with bribe money. Now there is another motion and an appeal against the appeal (for lack of a better phrase), and another court date, etc.

So I will say it once again.

Pursue a woman with a child under the age of 18 at your own risk.

For all those who feel otherwise and think it's "wrong" to write off a woman with a child under the age of 18, I understand. I felt that way myself. I thought, a woman with a child has a lot to offer. I want the family experience, etc., etc.

But live through a few years of my situation and then come tell me how you should still pursue a woman with a child or children. Drop a bunch of cash on lawyers and a variety of other expenses, go through the emotional roller coaster, deal with the fallout, and come back to me and tell me it was worth it. Especially tell me about it after you lose and then 3 years of your life is gone. Because I would love to hear how that experience made you stronger, a better person, etc.

I know it is difficult to ask up front. But seriously, if you lose your grasp of reality (hell, you started this pursuit of a foreign relationship, so you are halfway there already), and decide write a woman with a child, I would make certain before you got deeply involved that you know the custody / parental rights status. Take nothing for granted. The "father" in this case was absentee for 5 years, was caught lying on the stand (yes, caught, red-handed, with photographic evidence), and still bribed his way to victory on appeal. You damned well better see proof up front or you risk this outcome.

I don't really know where the appeals process ends.
Perhaps never.
I do know that the K-1 is finite.

Regardless, if you are looking for a new way to get F$@!&D within an inch of your life, then by all means, pursue a woman with a child. Think, "it won't happen to me," think, "it will work out," think, "well other guys have done it," etc., etc. Roll the dice. You might get lucky.

[Sandra G. 5,057]

Nobby she must get a court decision to allow her to take the child abroad. The court in Ukraine will consider several circumstance, and one is that you have to provide guarantees that the child will have school education, good housing conditions and medical assistance etc.

[LDN2DEN 3]

I have a very similar situation and consulted the U.S embassy here who informed me to either obtain a motorised letter from the father or a court order to remove my 5 year old child from the U.K. Four weeks and one court order later my child is allowed to leave the U.K and move to U.S and I can change her last name to mine (ironically childs father is a U.S citizen who resides in America and pays me a huge amount of child support but does not want his child to live in America)

Best of luck and I hope everything works out as you seem to be an amazing father and this little boy is very lucky.

[Mark88 184]

Ukraine passport and green card.

If she is your fiancé, how did she aquire a green card already?

So what do I do?!

Have you contacted the US Embassy in the Ukraine or the Consulate General in Frankfurt, Germany (who will eventually process your case since it is their jurisdiction) what the requirements are? Maybe for you can get direct information concerning this case from them.

[Shiobhan 235]

If she don't have a baby-daddy who owned and support

the kid just tell embassy the father is gone in the wind, because

he is, all this fathers right ####### when a man never sign for or

seen his kid. pleaaaaaase. If she sends child support docs &

a doc to give up parental right that would work in her favor.He

would gladly & quickly sign (do not inform him the kid is migrating)

[Cathi 5,783]

A father has rights, no matter how much you would like to walk over them.

the father has never asserted his rights or had any interest in the child since birth, I wouldnt care much about his rights if he doesn't care about his son. Just sayin'.

[Cori and Rob 55]

If she don't have a baby-daddy who owned and support

the kid just tell embassy the father is gone in the wind, because

he is, all this fathers right ####### when a man never sign for or

seen his kid. pleaaaaaase. If she sends child support docs &

a doc to give up parental right that would work in her favor.He

would gladly & quickly sign (do not inform him the kid is migrating)

While I don't think his father is a good father, he still has rights because he is the father. Even though this guy doesn't take an interest now, should he decide to take an interest later once he is out of jail, and should he then find out his kid has moved overseas with his mom and stepfather, you could be in for an international custody battle. It is unlikely from the sound of it, but I wouldn't want to risk it.

Edited February 18, 2014 by Cori and Rob

[aaron2020 11,651]

If she don't have a baby-daddy who owned and support

the kid just tell embassy the father is gone in the wind, because

he is, all this fathers right ####### when a man never sign for or

seen his kid. pleaaaaaase. If she sends child support docs &

a doc to give up parental right that would work in her favor.He

would gladly & quickly sign (do not inform him the kid is migrating)

Extremely bad advice.

Child just tell Embassy that father is gone in the wind? Really, that all that is needed?

The father's rights is #######? Really? The US Embassy doesn't think the father's rights as #######.

Do not inform that the child is immigrating? Really? No concern about international parental kidnapping?

Your advice is truly horrible.

Edited February 18, 2014 by aaron2020

[aaron2020 11,651]

the father has never asserted his rights or had any interest in the child since birth, I wouldnt care much about his rights if he doesn't care about his son. Just sayin'.

While you may not care about his rights, the US Embassy does.

The US Embassy requires the father's permission or a court order allowing the child to immigrate.

[Caryh 5,206]

While you may not care about his rights, the US Embassy does.

The US Embassy requires the father's permission or a court order allowing the child to immigrate.

What the embassy will care about is the rights given to the father in the country in which the child resides. In the Philippines the father has absolutely no rights to a child born out of wedlock. The Manila embassy therefore requires no permission from the father even when he's listed on the birth certificate, unless they were married when the child was born. This is a case where the local law is going to decide what needs to be done. It is not a case to make guesses based on what we think is right, or on US state's custody laws. Advice is best found in the Ukraine regional forum.

[Shiobhan 235]

Extremely bad advice.

Child just tell Embassy that father is gone in the wind? Really, that all that is needed?

The father's rights is #######? Really? The US Embassy doesn't think the father's rights as #######.

Do not inform that the child is immigrating? Really? No concern about international parental kidnapping?

Your advice is truly horrible.

That deadbeat don't give a hoot about how the kid eat, sleep or drink?

Now in prison the family don't say here go two cookies for the child or ask

how's the child what rights?..Me I would just tell them I have no knowledge

who is the dad and make it simple, people dont pop up when a child is grown talking about

they daddy , at least not no REAL man, you may leave the mother but NEVERRRR

a child. I say tell them you don't know who the father is, when the child is older, you

reveal the deadbeat if the child want to meet him then allow that, yuck rights of a deadbeat

[Mark88 184]

That deadbeat don't give a hoot about how the kid eat, sleep or drink?

Now in prison the family don't say here go two cookies for the child or ask

how's the child what rights?..Me I would just tell them I have no knowledge

who is the dad and make it simple, people dont pop up when a child is grown talking about

they daddy , at least not no REAL man, you may leave the mother but NEVERRRR

a child. I say tell them you don't know who the father is, when the child is older, you

reveal the deadbeat if the child want to meet him then allow that, yuck rights of a deadbeat

I think it is clear, hat the person is a deadbeat. This is not the issue.

Just imagine the OP taking your advice and we go 10 years in the future: Dad cleaned himself up, maybe some financial stability, but still is as vicious as before? The OP would have a major international custody battle. And what if the father wins??? The child would be sent back to a country, he hasn't been to in a decade. This is why I agree with aaron2020 and you gave bad advice.

[Caryh 5,206]

That deadbeat don't give a hoot about how the kid eat, sleep or drink?

Now in prison the family don't say here go two cookies for the child or ask

how's the child what rights?..Me I would just tell them I have no knowledge

who is the dad and make it simple, people dont pop up when a child is grown talking about

they daddy , at least not no REAL man, you may leave the mother but NEVERRRR

a child. I say tell them you don't know who the father is, when the child is older, you

reveal the deadbeat if the child want to meet him then allow that, yuck rights of a deadbeat

The rights of the father are going to be controlled by the country the child resides in. If I'm not mistaken, the father's name in on the birth certificate. If the country requires permission of the father or a court order to take the child out of the country legally, they will have to get it. Doesn't matter if the guy is the worst uncaring father in the world, that is for their legal system to determine. The embassy is going to follow the local laws in regards to what is needed for this child to leave the country. You can't just say I don't know where he is and expect them to accept that. The embassy is going to say, then go get the court order giving you full undisputed custody, if that is the law of that country.

[aaron2020 11,651]

That deadbeat don't give a hoot about how the kid eat, sleep or drink?

Now in prison the family don't say here go two cookies for the child or ask

how's the child what rights?..Me I would just tell them I have no knowledge

who is the dad and make it simple, people dont pop up when a child is grown talking about

they daddy , at least not no REAL man, you may leave the mother but NEVERRRR

a child. I say tell them you don't know who the father is, when the child is older, you

reveal the deadbeat if the child want to meet him then allow that, yuck rights of a deadbeat

It doesn't matter how awful the father is.

What matters is the laws where the child reside. You don't seem to get that.

Also, how would you propose they say they "don't know who the father is" when his name is on the birth certificate?

Also, your advice is to lie about the father for an immigration visa. You don't think this is bad advice?

---

Sorry but you have given extremely bad advice.

[Caryh 5,206]

It doesn't matter how awful the father is.

What matters is the laws where the child reside. You don't seem to get that.

Also, how would you propose they say they "don't know who the father is" when his name is on the birth certificate?

Also, your advice is to lie about the father for an immigration visa. You don't think this is bad advice?

---

Sorry but you have given extremely bad advice.

Some people seem to think what matters is what they feel is right, not what the rules or laws of a country are. They're also the ones that come crying when they find themselves in a trouble because how they felt things should work, is not how they actually worked.