Nothing Ventured, nothing gained.

[Karee 4,191]

Wow! Who's talking about getting lucky? Full disclosure in my initial post. A quickie? what?

Does it make you feel powerful to be such a jerk? I would love to finish this conversation face to face.

The posters join date/time is about 2 hours ago. An obvious troll. I wouldn't pay attention to posts like that.

[Unknown Guest 15]

I was 56, and her profile said 43. I thought it was a few years,but maybe... Then one year later, she sent me her id and it says 34. I asked her about it and all she said was " the date is correct". At this point I thought well that's a lot of time, but she seems cool, so I thought what the heck.

As far as being sickened because you think I have an asian fetish...I like the Chinese culture, especially family cohesion. It's not an asian fetish. If you could see this girl, I think you would understand. It's not like she is this perfect little cutie pie. She is an average looking girl, with what seemed like a very sweet disposition. I believed what she said and it didn't work. Does that mean I'm sick if I would like to meet another Chinese girl?

sounds like a scammer. first shes age 43 then 34? so she probably used an older age (43) on her profile to attract older men who may be easier to con (more desperate).

Funny it is this family cohesion that might (assuming she didn't try to scam u from the beginning) be giving her cold feet. Since you are already 56 and nearing retirement age, why not just retire and move to China in a few years?

[longtruelove 11]

sorry i havent finished the thread ... but did you say its been 4 days since you last talk and your already thinking of divorcing her??

[Lenzwei 14]

No,no. It's been a month since we've spoke. Her friend who I do speak with keeps telling me she wants a divorce so sorry.

It's a reality. It really doesn't matter at this point. It is what it is.

To the other poster, I'm not against spending significant time in china, if I met the right woman...I think it would be great to explore china. It would be weird to just go there and hang out alone.

[Unknown Guest 15]

No,no. It's been a month since we've spoke. Her friend who I do speak with keeps telling me she wants a divorce so sorry.

It's a reality. It really doesn't matter at this point. It is what it is.

To the other poster, I'm not against spending significant time in china, if I met the right woman...I think it would be great to explore china. It would be weird to just go there and hang out alone.

What you could do next time is meet the girl (possibly online), go to china for a few months (since u are almost retired you don't have to worry about work in the U.S.), and really get to know the girl and her family/friends before marrying her and either staying in China or moving back to the U.S.

U should probably tell the girl u r planning to stay in China (so that you can vet out the ones that are planning to con u out of a green card).

[Lenzwei 14]

Yes, that seems reasonable. That's a good idea to weed out just the ones searching for a green card. Also, I thought the age thing was a wide gap but because we had been talking for a year, I ignored it. Big mistake. When it's time, I'll look for someone much closer to my own age. I think older asian women are pretty too. I'm not an asian 20 year old something hawk.

[longtruelove 11]

honestly without knowing her side of the story just from your story and replies. It seems like she is the lucky one. Not because she got some money from you but because she found out your true feelings for her. You were so quick to abandon her even before she got here just because she got cold feet. Why are you so hurry to find another woman? If you really loved her that wouldn't even cross your mind and i am afraid that you probably should cut your losses before you make your and her life more miserable. Unless you really do love her than just wait it out and go be with her as soon as you can.

I can imagine her mother in one ear and her sister in another telling her .. he doesnt love you, he will abondon you there, americans get divorced blah blah blah and who will you go to if he does this blah blah blah don't you even think of coming back here.. blah blah blah

you get the picture ?

I

[Lenzwei 14]

Are you out of your mind? She said on a Saturday morning, bye honey, I love you. And the next day she sends an email, AN EMAIL !, telling me she wants to break up. Then she refuses my phone calls, emails and every other way to try to communicate with her. It's been a month and no word.

Let me tell you, what she did was nothing less than cruel, and if this is how truthfully cruel she can be, then she can go pound sand because I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN THAT IS EITHER CRUEL OR NUTS!

Yes, she's the lucky one....sure. Actually, I've realized I really am the lucky one. I've learned from my mistake. I hope she has too.

[DJ&L 83]

honestly without knowing her side of the story just from your story and replies. It seems like she is the lucky one. Not because she got some money from you but because she found out your true feelings for her. You were so quick to abandon her even before she got here just because she got cold feet. Why are you so hurry to find another woman? If you really loved her that wouldn't even cross your mind and i am afraid that you probably should cut your losses before you make your and her life more miserable. Unless you really do love her than just wait it out and go be with her as soon as you can.

I can imagine her mother in one ear and her sister in another telling her .. he doesnt love you, he will abondon you there, americans get divorced blah blah blah and who will you go to if he does this blah blah blah don't you even think of coming back here.. blah blah blah

you get the picture ?

I

Someone who clearly commented without reading the thread.

[eieio 1,594]

It's a reality. It really doesn't matter at this point. It is what it is.

I agree. Get a divorce,lick your wounds,fix your mistakes and get back on the horse. Everybody makes mistakes. Just don't let this one happen again. Good luck.

[Karee 4,191]

Someone who clearly commented without reading the thread.

Or worse, someone who read the thread and then made the comment.

[Cam54 84]

I would have said the same thing as that guy, doesn't sound like the OP loved the lady he just seemingly wanted a woman n she said yes. Perhaps the poster was right in thinking that the wife realized this because the couple thousand he gave her does not say scam in my eyes.

[christeen 966]

The situation does not sound like a scam at all... However, it does sound like a case of the reality of the situation scaring someone combined with family pressure... And cultural differences and personal ones where cutting off contact and avoiding the confrontation is the way she has chosen to deal with it... I am sure the OP has his own way of dealing with what happened, maybe by being matter of fact (aka cold) about the situation, or by planning towards the future... Everyone deals with things in a different way... But for both, it is probably lucky that they were not forced into an unhappy and very messy situation that would drag out for more time... Good luck

[Unknown Guest 15]

Would you prefer he sat around pining over someone who left him for the next few years, especially one who just up and did it and has left no room for reconciliation?

OP is on the older side. He's been around long enough to know there's not point to that. Life goes on.

Reel it in.

agreed. it's his way of moving on with his life. Nothing wrong with that. Just try to be more wary of scammers next time.

[TBoneTX 45,888]

One post removed for a TOS violation and one for quoting it. Acceptable part of a third post is returned here:

Would you prefer he sat around pining over someone who left him for the next few years, especially one who just up and did it and has left no room for reconciliation?

OP is on the older side. He's been around long enough to know there's not point to that. Life goes on.

Reel it in.

Edited March 2, 2014 by TBoneTX