Nothing Ventured, nothing gained.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Not sure about Chinese culture, but there's rarely a dowry in second marriages in Thailand. They consider it damaged goods. Of course some foreginer will come along and pay it, but never a Thai.

Not sure about Chinese culture, but there's rarely a dowry in second marriages in Thailand. They consider it damaged goods. Of course some foreginer will come along and pay it, but never a Thai.

From what I have known and googled online for Chinese culture, only dowries are expected to be paid for first marriages, once the lady is divorced or a widow, no dowries are really required.

[Karee 4,190]

From what I have known and googled online for Chinese culture, only dowries are expected to be paid for first marriages, once the lady is divorced or a widow, no dowries are really required.

What if you short time her from the bar on your first meeting, and marry her later? Even though she's never been married is a dowry still expected?

[Jon in RC 6]

Not sure about Chinese culture, but there's rarely a dowry in second marriages in Thailand. They consider it damaged goods. Of course some foreginer will come along and pay it, but never a Thai.

First thing first; Women are not goods, they are human beings. If men are not damaged by a divorce nor are women. On the bride price unless she and her family are from a cave. I am hard pressed with the whole notion of paying for a woman in China. Reality check China is the second largest economy in the world and some of the most modern cities are in China. Some women there do suffer from a severe case of abandonment issue. Thus material goods are important to them. Please keep the foot binding stereotype in the closets. Thanks.

[Karee 4,190]

Not sure about Chinese culture, but there's rarely a dowry in second marriages in Thailand. They consider it damaged goods. Of course some foreginer will come along and pay it, but never a Thai.

First thing first; Women are not goods, they are human beings. If men are not damaged by a divorce nor are women. On the bride price unless she and her family are from a cave. I am hard pressed with the whole notion of paying for a woman in China. Reality check China is the second largest economy in the world and some of the most modern cities are in China. Some women there do suffer from a severe case of abandonment issue. Thus material goods are important to them. Please keep the foot binding stereotype in the closets. Thanks.

I'm just pointing out how it's seen in Thailand. A Thai woman's family would NEVER receive a dowry for a second marriage from a Thai man. I'm sorry you can't see the difference between a reality and a stereotype. I'm here to help though:

re·al·i·ty

: the true situation that exists : the real situation

: something that actually exists or happens : a real event, occurrence, situation, etc.

ste·reo·type

: to believe unfairly that all people or things with a particular characteristic are the same

Google is your friend, you should use it. I hear it's free.

[kitthekat 1,317]

Not sure about Chinese culture, but there's rarely a dowry in second marriages in Thailand. They consider it damaged goods. Of course some foreginer will come along and pay it, but never a Thai.

First thing first; Women are not goods, they are human beings. If men are not damaged by a divorce nor are women. On the bride price unless she and her family are from a cave. I am hard pressed with the whole notion of paying for a woman in China. Reality check China is the second largest economy in the world and some of the most modern cities are in China. Some women there do suffer from a severe case of abandonment issue. Thus material goods are important to them. Please keep the foot binding stereotype in the closets. Thanks.

1. Reality check China is the second largest economy in the world and some of the most modern cities are in China.

- All that means is that the dowries are getting bigger and bigger. See: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/9780786/Chinas-brides-go-for-gold-as-their-dowries-get-bigger-and-bigger.html At least the OP got off (relatively) cheap!

2. On the bride price unless she and her family are from a cave.

- Talk about stereotyping...

[Caryh 5,206]

First thing first; Women are not goods, they are human beings. If men are not damaged by a divorce nor are women. On the bride price unless she and her family are from a cave. I am hard pressed with the whole notion of paying for a woman in China. Reality check China is the second largest economy in the world and some of the most modern cities are in China. Some women there do suffer from a severe case of abandonment issue. Thus material goods are important to them. Please keep the foot binding stereotype in the closets. Thanks.

Men and women are both often damaged in a divorce. The emotional toll can leave deep scars for years that some never get over.

Many cultures treat women as commodities. It might not be fair or even right, but it is reality. You can't just pass a law and expect to change hundreds of years of tradition.

Review the article and map below, China is still a country that puts a price on women, and in fact does make them a commodity.

http://www.ibtimes.com/map-chinas-bride-price-distribution-shanghai-tops-list-one-million-yuan-chongqing-only-city-where

[rlogan 2,036]

Read more carefully. Cultural excuses do not wash with me. If someone makes a commitment this grave to me then I don't care much what their excuse is for violating it. They broke the agreement, period.

You're naive if you think cultural excuses don't wash....especially with Chinese. They matter....a lot.

[Darnell 8,478]

Is there a web site that is legitimate for finding an available woman in China?

Let me suggest something else, as a fella married to a lass from China...

My wife has had me go through many of my friends, these last 6 years, in an attempt to seek and introduce 'qualified' men to her friends for possible matrimony.

This is a common practice in these 'China/USA' alliances.

So, go find a buddy, an American, that you trust, that's married to a lass from China,

then talk with HER !!

She'll have friends to suggest to you, close, dear friends.

[Ontarkie 14,221]

~~Inappropriate post removed~~

[Huilerty 0]

Having a bit of a problem.

March 2012-Met a girl online everything was fine. Emailed 3-4 times a week and started talking on the phone.

March 2013-Went to China, she was sweet, got married.

May 6th 2013 received the receipt for the I-130.

June 2013 sent her $1300 for a person in China to help her with the paperwork. (and ultimately the interview etc.)

August 2013 sent her $600 for an i-Phone so we can Facetime. Facetimed everyday from that moment on.

October 31, 2013 filed an I-129F.

January 11th She asked for cash gift for her mother. I thought, "what?" So I read up on it and it seems there is some legitimacy to the cash gift custom in China. I said how much? She said it's 30,000 Y (or $5,000) I was surprised. She said she would pay half of it, so after much gut wrenching I sent her 15,000 Y ($2500)

January 17th, 2014 Got the I-130 approved.

Feb. 6th, 2014 Got the I-129F approved.

Feb. 7th a.m. Called her and told her the good news. She was excited and said "that is good news" I told her it won't be much longer.

Feb. 8th. a.m. Received an email stating that she thinks we have many problems and she wants to break up.

Currently, She won't email me, She turned her phone off. I called her friend and she said she is all messed up in the mind, and that I should wait a few days. It's been 4 now.

Okay, so let's say she is freaking out because it's getting so close and she's now not sure. (although for the last year, she's been very sure)

So, okay, am I the most gullible person on the planet?

I have a feeling I won't ever hear from her again.

If she doesn't ever talk with me again, how does this work since we're already married?

I don't think China recognizes foreign marriages so they have no interest in an annulment. What about the U.S.?

The $100,000 question is--

Am I married?

Thanks, I'm a little embarrassed by airing this, but whatever. I need to know.

I would appreciate frank responses.

Pete

.........................and my $64,000 question back at you is:

Since she technically is "your wife" in China, did you get lucky? Please don't tell me you lost a bunch of time (which translates into $$$), and REAL $$$$ (I think you sent her a lot more than you admitted here due to shame) and you GOT NOTHING FROM HER!

Lesson to be learnt from this story folks:

It's a whole LOT CHEAPER just to go to Vegas for a quickie! And you don't get to laughed at and being called

SUCKER!

[Lenzwei 14]

Wow! Who's talking about getting lucky? Full disclosure in my initial post. A quickie? what?

Does it make you feel powerful to be such a jerk? I would love to finish this conversation face to face.

[Operator 1,927]

Don't ever respond to a sock puppet. It lends validity to their existence.

He was probably been taken for a ride before and likely compensating for that and his micro schmeckle.

Edited February 28, 2014 by Operator

[Avery Cates 1,141]

.........................and my $64,000 question back at you is:

Since she technically is "your wife" in China, did you get lucky? Please don't tell me you lost a bunch of time (which translates into $$$), and REAL $$$$ (I think you sent her a lot more than you admitted here due to shame) and you GOT NOTHING FROM HER!

Lesson to be learnt from this story folks:

It's a whole LOT CHEAPER just to go to Vegas for a quickie! And you don't get to laughed at and being called

SUCKER!

Shots fired.

[Unknown Guest 15]

I think the OP got off cheap if it was a scam. $2,500 + an iphone is very cheap. The Bride price is fairly common and most ppl pay a lot more. I don't think she was out to scam you. At least not for a measly $2,500. I think she just got cold-feet. May I ask...how old is the OP and how old is the Chinese wife?

To be honest, your insistence on finding a "Chinese wife" is really disgusting. Just smells like you are an asiaphille with a fetish for Chinese girls.

[Lenzwei 14]

I was 56, and her profile said 43. I thought it was a few years,but maybe... Then one year later, she sent me her id and it says 34. I asked her about it and all she said was " the date is correct". At this point I thought well that's a lot of time, but she seems cool, so I thought what the heck.

As far as being sickened because you think I have an asian fetish...I like the Chinese culture, especially family cohesion. It's not an asian fetish. If you could see this girl, I think you would understand. It's not like she is this perfect little cutie pie. She is an average looking girl, with what seemed like a very sweet disposition. I believed what she said and it didn't work. Does that mean I'm sick if I would like to meet another Chinese girl?