'Forced' to marry

[garya505 2]

I understand that there are many who con't deal with my views, so they insist that I concede. Sorry, I'm not a moral relativist, nor politically correct. I don't always run with the crowd.

Apples and oranges about homosexuals. They normally can't get married, we can. And where they can, many do.

It's NOT A CONCESSION to say that you accept that people have differing views!! You see it as a sign of weakness for some reason.

Gary, what was so particular about your relationship that it was the exception rather than the rule?

It's kind of interesting to me...in my paradigm and life experience, the type of relationship Gary is describing as an exception has always been the rule. Perspective makes the difference sometimes.

You have no idea. Really, you don't.

[Ban Hammer 13,656]

I think I just realized why szsz and gary get along so well

What would be useful to you is to understand why you and I don't.

[ceriserose 1]

I understand that there are many who con't deal with my views, so they insist that I concede. Sorry, I'm not a moral relativist, nor politically correct. I don't always run with the crowd.

Apples and oranges about homosexuals. They normally can't get married, we can. And where they can, many do.

It's NOT A CONCESSION to say that you accept that people have differing views!! You see it as a sign of weakness for some reason.

Gary, what was so particular about your relationship that it was the exception rather than the rule?

It's kind of interesting to me...in my paradigm and life experience, the type of relationship Gary is describing as an exception has always been the rule. Perspective makes the difference sometimes.

You have no idea. Really, you don't.

I have no idea about my own paradigm and life experience? Riiiight.

[Fandango 1,440]

Gary without being personal have YOU been married and divorced before?

No, but mine is a somewhat unusual case. My former SO was married before she met me, and she never wanted to get married again. I loved her, so I went along with that. She died after we were together 20 years. How's that for commitment without marriage?

Well, yeah, that's pretty freakin' awesome I think. Seriously.

And in and of itself doesn't that prove by example that one doesn't have to be married to be committed?

It only proves to me that in one case the couple didn't have to be married to be committed, but I believe it's the exception rather than the rule.

How very convenient just for you!

[Killer_Clown_2009 0]

Gary,

Go to a country where common partnerships are an everyday thing (like Canada).

You'll see many couples who have been together a long time and are devoted to one another

even though they have never been married.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

OH myyyyyyyy, Gary. ONE couple...of which you just happened to be one half.(and I am truly sorry for your loss there as well.) Well, you *are* one heckofa special guy, so I guess anything's possible. When you say the exception to the "rule" though, what's the rule?? That generally people are more committed if they marry I guess? Well, we can all debate that until we're blue in the face, and none of us are going to change what the rest think at this point. My *opinion* tends to be, however, that there are many couples that have an equally special relationship to the one you had. Of course, you likely won't agree with that, but then don't *most* of us think our relationship is the most special ever, etc. etc. ??

What's funny about this is that *to me* all of this boils down to 2 main points:

Most of the people on this thread are either already married or will be soon, and have NO aversion to marriage whatsoever, but because of a differing opinion they have been portrayed as though they have. Most just wish they had longer than 90 days to be with their SOs....I know for a lot of people, that's just to plan a nicer wedding,or whatever reason...not because they are unsure they wish to marry.

Also, szsz you keep thinking people want you to concede *your opinion*. NOBODY has asked you to do that. You HAVE been asked (at least by me) to not see things as so black and white. You're acting like a defiant child with arms crossed, foot stomping, saying "People who are married ARE more commited and that is THAT I tell you!" No disclaimer of any kind ever, like that's JMHO, or that's what I think anyway, or blah blah blah. Just "Well, no one is changing their opinions, so why should I change MINE?" No one has ASKED you to change yours, just to acknowledge that it's NOT FACT, BUT RATHER OPINION. PERIOD.

*sigh* *bangs head against wall*

Someone pleaseeeeeeeeee tell me why I'm even bothering???? M.

Edited January 4, 2007 by MichelleandCraig

[BelwinMills 0]

Gary,

Go to a country where common partnerships are an everyday thing (like Canada).

You'll see many couples who have been together a long time and are devoted to one another

even though they have never been married.

That is the same way in Jamaica.

My hubby and I would of married even though this is common in his country.

[TracyTN 237]

Nearly 40 pages based mostly around szsz. Just because most of us completely disagree with her does not mean we should keep going with this thread. Stop trying to convince her. Let her believe she's better than everyone else and stop giving her so much attention.

Understanding what I was saying in the first place would have been a good start. You never did get it, so you don't even know what you're arguing about. Those who couldn't figure out what this thread is about were right. Much ado about nothing.

Yes, you are. However, I'm not sure why you can't concede that there are different opinions on this, and not one of them is right, and not one of them is wrong. You will respond saying something along the lines of, "I'm not the one arguing about this, I'm just stating my opinion." Your opinion is that everyone else's opinions are wrong.

I just don't get that. The reason I asked in the first place was because I was curious if people felt like they were getting married before the natural course of the relationship took them to marriage, even though they knew that they either would eventually get married, or would be fully committed, if immigration were not an issue.

So why do homosexuals have a "committment" ceremony because they are not allowed to have a legally binding marriage? Because they're committed!! Wheeeeeeeee!!

I'm telling TracyTN that you're trying to take her title of "Instigator of the Post"...

Too late, I already saw it on my own.

The instigator is amazed that this thread is still going on. We need an Energizer bunny emote.

[garya505 2]

I understand that there are many who con't deal with my views, so they insist that I concede. Sorry, I'm not a moral relativist, nor politically correct. I don't always run with the crowd.

Apples and oranges about homosexuals. They normally can't get married, we can. And where they can, many do.

It's NOT A CONCESSION to say that you accept that people have differing views!! You see it as a sign of weakness for some reason.

Gary, what was so particular about your relationship that it was the exception rather than the rule?

It's kind of interesting to me...in my paradigm and life experience, the type of relationship Gary is describing as an exception has always been the rule. Perspective makes the difference sometimes.

You have no idea. Really, you don't.

I have no idea about my own paradigm and life experience? Riiiight.

No, you don't really know the "type of relationship" I was in, as you weren't in it, and all you know is that we were not married and it lasted 20 years until she died.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Again,it's pointless, but here I go anyway:

Gary, does it really MATTER what TYPE of relationship it was?? The fact remains, for WHATEVER reason, you were NOT married, but you were VERY committed. That is all anyone has been saying about any of us, and I don't buy for one minute that you, or your relationship (and I hesitate to add that only becaue I am sorry that's she's passed on, but feel it necessary to say what I'm saying here) was any more special than any one of any of OUR relationships on this board. That's a very chauvanistic (sp??) remark, if that's what you're meaning. M.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I'm gonna guess that likewise you or no one else knows about the relationships of other people either -- so any opinion you might have on whether or not they are "committed" because they prefer not to get married is also uninformed

[garya505 2]

Again,it's pointless, but here I go anyway:

Gary, does it really MATTER what TYPE of relationship it was?? The fact remains, for WHATEVER reason, you were NOT married, but you were VERY committed. That is all anyone has been saying about any of us, and I don't buy for one minute that you, or your relationship (and I hesitate to add that only becaue I am sorry that's she's passed on, but feel it necessary to say what I'm saying here) was any more special than any one of any of OUR relationships on this board. That's a very chauvanistic (sp??) remark, if that's what you're meaning. M.

No, not more "special", (I never said that) but it was unusual.

[Peikko 1,575]

Women get married to wear a big dress and be flattered by their peers. I have no idea why men get married, it doesn't make much sense.

As for commitment, to engage knowingly in a monogomous relationship as a lifestyle choice, that's a very pleasant place to be, in my opinion

[Alex+R 0]

No, you don't really know the "type of relationship" I was in, as you weren't in it, and all you know is that we were not married and it lasted 20 years until she died.

How arrogant. How do you know it's unusual? Your only experience is your own. If other people can't possibly understand your situation, then the same goes for you with others'.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

So many saying basically the same things thats been said all day. Everyone believing as they must for themselves maybe it will just RIP soon