'Forced' to marry

[garya505 2]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

[Jenn! 918]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's debatable, Gary. What is your point exactly? That you have some sort of supernatural ability to see into the hearts of others and judge their motives and fears?

All I hear is:

"Not everyone thinks the same thing that you do."

"Oh, yes they do, they just don't know it."

ETA: Don't you think that it's kind of arrogant to presume that you've got everything straight and everyone else is just fooling themselves?

Edited January 3, 2007 by jenn3539

[mybackpages 0]

All I hear is:

"Not everyone thinks the same thing that you do."

"Oh, yes they do, they just don't know it."

I'll go back to one of the first post in this thread- before it went wacky- some nations allow immigration sponsorship regradless of marital status, but not the US. Why is marriage the only instittution recognized as a committed relationship under our law? As long as it is, I am using the marriage laws to my benefit. I think that is what bothes people the most!

[Fandango 1,440]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's the problem, Gary. Instead of trying to understand my POV, you use accusations and insults. You don't know the first thing about me, really.

For the second time I will state...I did the virginal marriage thing. I'm divorced now. I have been with D longer than I was with my ex-husband. D and I have overcome so many more difficult things and we're still together and stronger than ever. Marriage doesn't mean 'til death do us part' and as you have stated, it is only a DISPLAY of commitment.

[bostonparis 0]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's debatable, Gary. What is your point exactly? That you have some sort of supernatural ability to see into the hearts of others and judge their motives and fears?

All I hear is:

"Not everyone thinks the same thing that you do."

"Oh, yes they do, they just don't know it."

ETA: Don't you think that it's kind of arrogant to presume that you've got everything straight and everyone else is just fooling themselves?

THAT'S what is bothering me so much about a few of these responders. I am perfectly able to see both sides of this, and I think most people here are. What I don't understand is the lack of tolerance, for lack of a better word, for people who view committment as sacred as marriage.

[TracyTN 237]

Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave....

is robin taking the batpole to the batcave?

[*julez* 124]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's debatable, Gary. What is your point exactly? That you have some sort of supernatural ability to see into the hearts of others and judge their motives and fears?

All I hear is:

"Not everyone thinks the same thing that you do."

"Oh, yes they do, they just don't know it."

ETA: Don't you think that it's kind of arrogant to presume that you've got everything straight and everyone else is just fooling themselves?

THAT'S what is bothering me so much about a few of these responders. I am perfectly able to see both sides of this, and I think most people here are. What I don't understand is the lack of tolerance, for lack of a better word, for people who view committment as sacred as marriage.

Exactly. But as the saying goes, "There are none so blind as those who cannot see."

[garya505 2]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's the problem, Gary. Instead of trying to understand my POV, you use accusations and insults. You don't know the first thing about me, really.

For the second time I will state...I did the virginal marriage thing. I'm divorced now. I have been with D longer than I was with my ex-husband. D and I have overcome so many more difficult things and we're still together and stronger than ever. Marriage doesn't mean 'til death do us part' and as you have stated, it is only a DISPLAY of commitment.

It wasn't an accusation or insult, though it's interesting you took it that way. I suppose that's because you had a bad experience with your marriage, and that's probably also why you think marriage doesn't really mean anything.

[featherB 1]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

What attitude? And how does it make your point exactly? Please explain...

Just to make my attitude clear, and I can only speak for myself: were it not for the fact that marriage is essential if I'm going to be with the person I want to be with, I don't know if/when we would be considering marriage. That's not because I have a fear of commitment, or am not certain of my commitment to him - far from it, I am entirely committed to him, as is he to me, and that is that. It's just because, given that neither of us is religious, and given that I'm not someone who's spent her entire life planning her wedding, marriage might not have seemed a 'necessity'. Not because we're less than committed, but because the great sacred institution of marriage can seem a bit of an irrelevance when you don't subscribe to any of the religious beliefs it's based around, and aren't insecure enough to need a marriage certificate as 'proof' of your partner's commitment to you. That does not mean that I will take my marriage with anything less than the utmost seriousness - merely that the fact of being married cannot possibly make me take it any more seriously than I would were we to cohabit without getting married. (*edited to add: and that, for the record, is very seriously indeed, and with 100% commitment. Not as the frivolous and easily-reversible decision of a commitmentphobic hedonist that it seems some on here might like to paint it as...*)

Right... I get to escape work now - yeahhh!! See you later, all...

Edited January 3, 2007 by featherB

[sarah and hicham 3]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's the problem, Gary. Instead of trying to understand my POV, you use accusations and insults. You don't know the first thing about me, really.

For the second time I will state...I did the virginal marriage thing. I'm divorced now. I have been with D longer than I was with my ex-husband. D and I have overcome so many more difficult things and we're still together and stronger than ever. Marriage doesn't mean 'til death do us part' and as you have stated, it is only a DISPLAY of commitment.

It wasn't an accusation or insult, though it's interesting you took it that way. I suppose that's because you had a bad experience with your marriage, and that's probably also why you think marriage doesn't really mean anything.

good times

That is just stupid.

[garya505 2]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's the problem, Gary. Instead of trying to understand my POV, you use accusations and insults. You don't know the first thing about me, really.

For the second time I will state...I did the virginal marriage thing. I'm divorced now. I have been with D longer than I was with my ex-husband. D and I have overcome so many more difficult things and we're still together and stronger than ever. Marriage doesn't mean 'til death do us part' and as you have stated, it is only a DISPLAY of commitment.

It wasn't an accusation or insult, though it's interesting you took it that way. I suppose that's because you had a bad experience with your marriage, and that's probably also why you think marriage doesn't really mean anything.

good times

That is just stupid.

Thanks for the kind words.

[Jenn! 918]

It seems that the problem is not with people's commitment or lack thereof. Instead, the problem is with people's religiousness. I think that's really what's at issue here. Otherwise, I can't comprehend what's going on here anymore.

[Fandango 1,440]

Reflecting on this entire thread, I'm not surprized why the divorce rate is so high, and why some don't value marriage at all.

But that's where you're failing to see what everyone is saying.

Of course.

Because you're sat here saying 'oh no wonder the divorce rate is so high' as if the ppl who see no reason to marry are the ones contributing to it....when many ppl who see no reason to marry feel that way because the institution of marriage has been made a joke by the people who get married & divorced at whim.

Thanks. Your attitude, and the attitude of some of the other posters here, makes my point exactly.

That's the problem, Gary. Instead of trying to understand my POV, you use accusations and insults. You don't know the first thing about me, really.

For the second time I will state...I did the virginal marriage thing. I'm divorced now. I have been with D longer than I was with my ex-husband. D and I have overcome so many more difficult things and we're still together and stronger than ever. Marriage doesn't mean 'til death do us part' and as you have stated, it is only a DISPLAY of commitment.

It wasn't an accusation or insult, though it's interesting you took it that way. I suppose that's because you had a bad experience with your marriage, and that's probably also why you think marriage doesn't really mean anything.

I NEVER said that marriage doesn't mean anything. Again, as YOU said...marriage is a DISPLAY of commitment......and following that logic, a couple can be committed and just not be compeled to display it. Even to those who 'should' all over everyone

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Gary without being personal have YOU been married and divorced before?

[Ban Hammer 13,658]

It seems that the problem is not with people's commitment or lack thereof. Instead, the problem is with people's religiousness. I think that's really what's at issue here. Otherwise, I can't comprehend what's going on here anymore.

so people having religion is bad now?