'Forced' to marry

[bostonparis 0]

You say youre' not ready for marriage wihich means you're not ready for committment, anecdotal assertions aside, when you are looking for an easy out, marriage is not what you aim for.

Marriage and commitment aren't the same thing, though. I wouldn't be getting married right now if immigration were not an issue, however I've never felt more committed to someone in my life (and I have two marriages under my belt, and I'm barely 35!).

I love him more than anything, would do anything for him, and I know he feels the same. Clearly he does - he's giving up his entire life in Paris, which he has built quite nicely for himself. He doesn't know what to expect career-wise once he gets here. But he knows that our committment to each other (married or not) is what is most important to him right now.

[KarenCee 3]

Oh lord...here it comes....I feel a flame war a-comin'

You can be committed to someone without marriage. That's my personal opinion, but I believe it's also the opinion of others as well. Marriage is a type of commitment, but it isn't the same thing.

Edited December 31, 2006 by KarenCee

[Alex+R 0]

You say youre' not ready for marriage wihich means you're not ready for committment, anecdotal assertions aside, when you are looking for an easy out, marriage is not what you aim for.

Who said they were "not ready for marriage"? I didn't ever want to get married, except maybe for legal reasons related to children. I don't see marriage as a bigger commitment than what I have right now.

[bostonparis 0]

You say youre' not ready for marriage wihich means you're not ready for committment, anecdotal assertions aside, when you are looking for an easy out, marriage is not what you aim for.

I have to say, I don't think too many people on this message board are looking for an "easy out". This isn't the easiest way to get married!!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

[Alex+R 0]

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

Because I don't feel like I need to trap someone into being with me? I hope that if either of us wants to walk away, we will, married or not.

[bostonparis 0]

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

Why not stay because you want to? Who says you can't walk away even if you're married? It's easier to get a divorce than it is to marry someone from another country!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

You say youre' not ready for marriage wihich means you're not ready for committment, anecdotal assertions aside, when you are looking for an easy out, marriage is not what you aim for.

I have to say, I don't think too many people on this message board are looking for an "easy out". This isn't the easiest way to get married!!

That's true if you see marriage as a means to an end. The topic is "Forced to marry", after all. Someone other than myself sees that as a factor since the question was raised in terms of immigration,

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

Because I don't feel like I need to trap someone into being with me? I hope that if either of us wants to walk away, we will, married or not.

You see marriage as a trap. Interesting reveal.

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

Why not stay because you want to? Who says you can't walk away even if you're married? It's easier to get a divorce than it is to marry someone from another country!

If that is so, than marriage can't be so bad since divorce is so easy.

[KarenCee 3]

You're just an argumentative little cuss aren't you?

[bostonparis 0]

You say youre' not ready for marriage wihich means you're not ready for committment, anecdotal assertions aside, when you are looking for an easy out, marriage is not what you aim for.

I have to say, I don't think too many people on this message board are looking for an "easy out". This isn't the easiest way to get married!!

That's true if you see marriage as a means to an end. The topic is "Forced to marry", after all. Someone other than myself sees that as a factor since the question was raised in terms of immigration,

It seems to me that for everyone here, it IS a means to an end. I broached the topic of feeling 'forced' to marry. But someone else brought up committment vs. marriage, which I think is a very interesting topic too. I just happen to feel that they are two different things. You can have committment without marriage. Marriage without committment is simply for convenience, no?

I know I am not marrying him out of convenience for anything.

[Alex+R 0]

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

Because I don't feel like I need to trap someone into being with me? I hope that if either of us wants to walk away, we will, married or not.

You see marriage as a trap. Interesting reveal.

No, since I clearly just told you that I see no problem with walking away from a marriage that isn't working. I was responding to the fact that you implied it was a trap, since you said that otherwise one could just "walk away" from a relationship, implying that that is not the case in marriage.

[mybackpages 0]

I do not feel the need to have the state recognize my marriage or committment to my SO, but the law doesn't allow me to apply for a partner visa, just a fiance visa. It it did I would go for the former. Some nations do allow citizens to sponsor a partner regardless of their marital status.

So am I being forced to marry- yes. do I want to get married? yes. but it's not under my own terms.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

You're just an argumentative little cuss aren't you?

And you're right in here with me. Takes one to know one.

[KarenCee 3]

You're just an argumentative little cuss aren't you?

And you're right in here with me. Takes one to know one.

Aye, but I'm not trying to needle the others...

[bostonparis 0]

"Marriage and committment aren't the same thing" is an opinion, so we disagree. If you're ready to commit, why not marry instead of being able to walk away?

Why not stay because you want to? Who says you can't walk away even if you're married? It's easier to get a divorce than it is to marry someone from another country!

If that is so, than marriage can't be so bad since divorce is so easy.

I don't understand your point. I never said marriage was bad. I've already done it twice. I'm going to do it a third time, so clearly I'm still an advocate of marriage. But I don't understand your point of "marriage can't be so bad since divorce is so easy."