'Forced' to marry

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Um stop posting on an online forum? Just a tip.

Stop being indignant and offer some real information so the complaining parties aren't so very misunderstood, would be a better tip.

[Jenn! 918]

I certainly know where you are coming from, but I see your statements as filled with judgement.

I used to be curious about why women reacted so defensively to me, but my collegues often say that I don't argue like a woman, so women are intimidated by me. I cause a kind of disconcernation in their expectations of how a women would express herself. That's why other women's judgmental comments are not seen as judgmental next to mine.

How do women and men argue differently? This is overgeneralizing IMO, not only about arguing styles but about women's expectations. Also, seems irrelevent on an online forum where half the time we don't know if it is a woman or man we are talking to unless the name or pic gives it away.

Although someone *did* refer to szsz as "dude" very recently.

[bostonparis 0]

Uh, when did I ask you what a social scientist was? You can't just make stuff up. But I'll give you the B of the D and assume you're thinking of someone else.

You asked me on the thread where people were arguing about how many Arabs were Christian. How soon you forget!

Just fyi that was me....and I only did so to find out whether you are a professional one, or a self-proclaimed one.

Tsk....How soon you forget

LisaD, you make me giggle.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Just fyi that was me....and I only did so to find out whether you are a professional one, or a self-proclaimed one.

Tsk....How soon you forget

Ok, so you all look alike to me

Although someone *did* refer to szsz as "dude" very recently.

Peopel often assume I'm a dude here. Must be something to it. And jenn, didn't you make a comment earlier that it was all women arguing? I agreed with you, and no one didn't.

Edited January 1, 2007 by szsz

[bostonparis 0]

Just fyi that was me....and I only did so to find out whether you are a professional one, or a self-proclaimed one.

Tsk....How soon you forget

Ok, so you all look alike to me

Although someone *did* refer to szsz as "dude" very recently.

Peopel often assume I'm a dude here. Must be something to it. And jenn, didn't you make a comment earlier that it was all women arguing? I agreed with you, and no one didn't.

No one didn't what? If you're implying that no one agreed with her, I think it was implied by no one responding to that because, well, it's fact. What is your point?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

For the uninitiated:

You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, by Deborah Tannen, Ph.D.. It's the definative study of the genre. They do studies on men and women's communication styles, and they are different.

[bostonparis 0]

I have that book. I still don't understand your point to Jenn.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

No one didn't what? If you're implying that no one agreed with her, I think it was implied by no one responding to that because, well, it's fact. What is your point?

You're telling me what your impression is of what I'm saying. That doesn't make it MY implication, just yours.

No one disagreed that all those arguing were women.

[heishe 2]

Hey everyone! I'm a social scientist, too!

Anyway, whatsherface showed her cards when she brought up religion. I think what we've got in this thread is yet another example of someone trying to sound scientific in defense of her quaint superstitions.

At any rate, marriages with pre-marital cohabitation are associated with higher divorce rates, but it's really not a useful statistic. There's such a variety of typologies withinin that population, and there are far better predictors of divorce than the broad category of pre-marital cohabitation. Pretty much the only time it comes up is in the service of silly religious arguments about the importance of marriage. She's calling you afraid of committment, or whatever, but she's obviously just annoyed that you presume to have a successful relationship which fails to conform to Allah's sacred dictates.

Oh! Headed for divorce! Teenagers today! How could you?

But please, let us continue to taunt the hysteric. Her credentials and self-serving statistics and manly arguments are ever so exciting!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I have that book. I still don't understand your point to Jenn.

I don't get why you don't get it. It happened right here. She said that she's seeing a pattern in how women get into these arguments sans men. I said I noticed that before. No point, just an exchange.

[Alex+R 0]

Hey everyone! I'm a social scientist, too!

Anyway, whatsherface showed her cards when she brought up religion. I think what we've got in this thread is yet another example of someone trying to sound scientific in defense of her quaint superstitions.

At any rate, marriages with pre-marital cohabitation are associated with higher divorce rates, but it's really not a useful statistic. There's such a variety of typologies withinin that population, and there are far better predictors of divorce than the broad category of pre-marital cohabitation. Pretty much the only time it comes up is in the service of silly religious arguments about the importance of marriage. She's calling you afraid of committment, or whatever, but she's obviously just annoyed that you presume to have a successful relationship which fails to conform to Allah's sacred dictates.

Oh! Headed for divorce! Teenagers today! How could you?

But please, let us continue to taunt the hysteric. Her credentials and self-serving statistics and manly arguments are ever so exciting!

Who else (L)s Heishe

[bostonparis 0]

No one didn't what? If you're implying that no one agreed with her, I think it was implied by no one responding to that because, well, it's fact. What is your point?

You're telling me what your impression is of what I'm saying. That doesn't make it MY implication, just yours.

No one disagreed that all those arguing were women.

You said, "No one didn't." I am asking you, "No one didn't" WHAT? That was my question, if you would read the very beginning. I'll even bold it for you right now. That's all. I'm not telling you my impression of what you're saying, your implication, the civilizing of social movements, research strategies in institutional analysis, yadda yadda yadda. You just don't make any sense. Your arguments bear no resemblance to an answer to any question that is asked. You're just spouting stuff like I just did... just because. For no reason. It's bizarre, quite frankly.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Hey everyone! I'm a social scientist, too!

Anyway, whatsherface showed her cards when she brought up religion. I think what we've got in this thread is yet another example of someone trying to sound scientific in defense of her quaint superstitions.

At any rate, marriages with pre-marital cohabitation are associated with higher divorce rates, but it's really not a useful statistic. There's such a variety of typologies withinin that population, and there are far better predictors of divorce than the broad category of pre-marital cohabitation. Pretty much the only time it comes up is in the service of silly religious arguments about the importance of marriage. She's calling you afraid of committment, or whatever, but she's obviously just annoyed that you presume to have a successful relationship which fails to conform to Allah's sacred dictates.

Oh! Headed for divorce! Teenagers today! How could you?

But please, let us continue to taunt the hysteric. Her credentials and self-serving statistics and manly arguments are ever so exciting!

You clearly have your prejudices, and you're showing your hand by refering to my religious leanings as "quaint superstitions", and religious arguments as "silly".

You have something against Allah?

I also said that there are variances, so that is not new.

[bostonparis 0]

Who else (L)s Heishe

Oh, I do!

[heishe 2]

As an aside, these snipes (and I've seen them in other threads too) about how long someone else's marriage might last are almost always unwarranted and mean. I like to think most everyone here has a lovely and committed relationship with their special hunny, even if they seem a little bitchy on the internet. It's fun to argue and provoke, but projecting such a profoundly unhappy thing on anyone is just mean!